What Feeds You? [The Channel of Tobias]

The Clarity Series SHOUD 4
Presented to the Crimson Circle November 5, 2005
Original Website http://www.crimsoncircle.com/

And, so it is, Shaumbra, we gather together once again in this beautiful and sacred space in the energy that we have all created together… the energy where we meld the human dimension where you live with the spirit and celestial dimensions where we live… this precious time once each month of your human time, this precious time when we can sit together in this space. It seemed like just a moment ago when we left the Shaumbra Service Center. Perhaps, there were many things that happened in your lifetime since. It seemed to us like just a moment of time ago when we left, when we broke off from the last Shoud. And, here we are again, sharing this beautiful energy and sharing this beautiful, wonderful time.

I, Tobias, love these few moments that we have while your music is playing. We are making some equipment adjustments here. We love this time when your music is playing. And, that is a time when I, Tobias, can speak to all of you so easily. We have a few laughs and a few jokes. We talk about what has been happening in your life recently. We are preparing the energy for the day, for our guests who are going to come in for the Shoud that we are going to do. But, it is a relaxing time when we can just chat for a few moments.

Now, the energy is going. Perhaps, you can feel it. The energy of this Shoud is now moving. And, you're helping to move it also. Things are going now… yes, indeed.

One of the things that you ask all of us on our side… you ask, "What is the message that Shaumbra wants to hear? Why, Tobias, do you come in? What is it that Shaumbra wanted to be reminded of more than anything else right now? Why do we do these Shouds?"

And, Shaumbra, the answer is quite delightful and quite simple. So much of what we have to say to you - so much of what you have to say to yourself in these Shouds, if you read back over them for the past five years of time - you will realize what we are saying to you is that you have permission to be yourself. That is really the whole core message of all of this. You have permission to be who you are.

You have permission to discover parts of yourself that were dormant for a long time. You have permission to be a Divine Human, existing on an Earth that is very dualistic. You have permission to move into the New Energy in your own way. You have permission to express yourself. And, you don't need permission from us. It is permission from yourself to be who you are, to be everything that you are.

Now, that would seem to be quite simple and quite apparent. But, it is much more complex. You see… most humans don't give themselves permission to be who they are. They have defined themselves into a certain box, into a certain set of beliefs in a lifetime. And, then they follow just that set of beliefs. They are not truly being everything that they are. They are being defined in somewhat of a very narrow and rigid way, where you, Shaumbra, want permission to go outside of that. Most humans are only focused on this particular lifetime, on this particular identity.

And, you said, "We want permission to go beyond, to discover not just this lifetime, but all of the lifetimes." You wanted permission to discover yourself between lifetimes. You wanted permission to discover yourself as a spiritual being, as well as a human being. You wanted permission from yourself to go beyond the limitations, all of the rules and the regulations, all of the criteria that are set up by others for you. That is what you were truly asking of yourself during these Shouds: permission to be God also in this lifetime.

That is why it is such a delight for all of us to come in, to share this time with you, to encourage you in every way to be who you are. It is difficult at times because sometimes the world isn't ready for you. Sometimes you aren't ready for yourself. Sometimes the level of change that you have to go through in order to discover self is so great that you have a hard time keeping up with it with all of your body, mind and spirit.

But, you know, sooner or later, every human - every human - will have to do what you have done. They will have to give themselves permission to see their whole self. Nothing can lie in hiding. Nothing can lie in darkness. Nothing can lie beyond the walls and the barriers that are set up. Sooner or later every human and every angel has to discover their total self. They have to do what you have done.

Give yourself permission to be who you are. It sounds simple. It sounds so logical. But, Shaumbra, it is one of the most challenging and difficult things that you'll ever do. It requires trust. It requires being truthful with yourself. It requires looking at yourself, even the parts that you haven't wanted to look at.

So, we honor, and we applaud you for what you are doing - giving yourself permission. Oh, at times, you know, you hit the wall. At times you fall down. At times it doesn't necessarily feel comfortable. But, you're doing it anyway. You're giving yourself permission. At times you may feel that this whole program of giving yourself permission to be who you are is not successful.

But, take a look at how you judge success. Sometimes you feel perhaps that you even are failing in doing it because you measure yourself against an old set of measurement values. Measure yourself to your highest level, to your divine level. Look at yourself and what you are doing in this lifetime through divine eyes rather than human eyes, and you'll begin to understand the enormity of what you are doing.

We spend a tremendous amount of our energies with you. We wanted to say "time," but time is rather irrelevant, isn't? We spend an extraordinary amount of our energies with you because at this time in your life you need that. You need these types of gatherings. You need the perspective from the other side that we can provide. We spend enormous amounts of energies with you because it is so very important.

We know sometimes you think that the work you do is having very little effect. But, again if you could see it through the divine eyes, you would understand how you are breaking through consciousness barriers, how you are moving energy, the true significance of what you are doing. You don't have to lead a country or a nation to do incredible work at the spiritual level. You don't need to be a CEO of a large business to have an effect on the world. You don't need to be a priest or a rabbi to make a difference in people's lives. You can be Shaumbra and have a magnificent impact on the potential of consciousness, not just in this realm, but in all of the realms.

Now, that being said, let's talk today about our special guests. There are many, many guests today that are coming in, a whole busload of them. Yes, indeed, I have a bus stop right outside of my cottage. And, the bus stopped there, and we picked them up several days ago. And, we have been journeying your way. We have been coming into your reality.

There are 202 guests on this day. Yes, the room is quite full, isn't it? We had to leave a few empty seats just to make room for everybody (some laughter). There are several hundreds of guests. And, the interesting thing about these guests is that many of you have known them before. They come from what you would call the fourth dimension, what Adamus calls the near dimensions. They are disincarnate but they were human not so very long ago. Every one of them left Earth towards the end of 2001.

And, they have been studying on our side of the veil. They did not go to the Bridge of Flowers. They stayed in the near realms to study, for the energies of Earth were very heavy with them - not in a negative way - but just very much a part of who they were. They have been studying consciousness. They have been studying what groups are doing. And, specifically they have been studying Shaumbra all of this time. Yes, you are definitely not alone, for there are many, many who are observing - not judging - but simply observing what you are doing.

They have several things in common: the fact that they left at the end of 2001 or later, the fact that all of them knew Shaumbra, knew some of you in one way or the other. A few were your parents. A few were dear friends. Some were ones who you worked with at the same office place. Some of them were childhood friends who you lost contact with, and then have come over to our side. But, they all knew a Shaumbra somewhere along the line.

That little incident, that encounter with Shaumbra in their lifetime, even if you only knew them for a short period of time, had such a significant effect on them, a word that you said, a radiance that you shined out. Oh, perhaps they even laughed at you a bit. Perhaps, they challenged you. Perhaps, they thought you were a bit odd. But, Shaumbra, you made an impact on their life, and so much so that when they crossed over, when they left the physical body and came to our side, they decided it was time to study. They decided that they didn't need to just hop back into another body. They knew that there had to be more. And, you, Shaumbra, made that difference and that influence.

They have been working, studying, and sharing together all of this time. They have been watching the progress of Shaumbra on Earth. They have been taking a look at it. They have been watching how you are working with consciousness in your life. You have become the example for them.

They all plan to come back to Earth in the next - what you would call - dozen years of human time. They're all planning to come back. They're planning to go to the Bridge of Flowers, but they haven't been ready yet. They're planning to go back to the highest angelic realms.

But, quite frankly, the consciousness that they had when they left Earth truly did not allow them to go all the way back. They were - what you would call - Earthbound. They were stuck in their old ways and old belief systems. But, there was something that triggered them to want to understand more, that there was more beyond what they knew and what they felt in their lifetime.

So, they have gathered together. They have been together ever since, several hundred of them taking a look at themselves, taking a look at consciousness on Earth, taking a look at you. And, now they have been bussed in for this meeting. Indeed, there must be a bus stop right outside of this canyon center here that let them off. And, they now fill the room.

And, what we would love all of you, Shaumbra, to do - whether you are here in person, or joining us on the other realms, through the Internet - we would love for you to take a deep breath and welcome them in. They are feeling a bit nervous on this day to be in the presence of such human masters. They are feeling perhaps that maybe you could relate to this. Perhaps, they are not worthy of being here quite yet. They feel like they are the students and you are the masters. They want to know that you are going to welcome them into your space, into this sacred and precious meeting.

You know, it is the talk of the celestial realms, this thing called the monthly Shoud (some laughter). As I have said before, there are many who get on the waiting list from our side who want to come in. But, we only allow so many, you know. This is an exclusive event.

So, we're going to ask you to take a deep breath and invite their energies into our space, to make that final melding, to invite them to sit down beside you today, just to feel your essence and your presence.

So, indeed they have been studying consciousness. And, they say… they've asked the question, "What is consciousness?" just like you have asked that question, "What is consciousness?" Well, put quite simply, it is a set of belief systems that defines your reality. It is your level of awareness that becomes your consciousness. You are aware of a certain level of activity, of a certain understanding.

Consciousness is also limited by belief systems. And, particularly when you come to Earth, these belief systems become very rigid. And, they define everything in your life. They define how you perceive yourself. The belief systems define how you interrelate with yourself, how you interrelate with the environment around you, people around you.

And, the interesting thing is that your belief systems… they don't come from the mind… you see. Belief systems go much deeper than that. They come from the heart, from the inner part of you. You see, you think you have certain beliefs. But, sometimes your true beliefs are much deeper and much more potent. Sometimes you try to alter and correct or change your belief systems in your mind. But, yet your life continues just the same as it was. And, you wonder what true effect belief systems have.

But, belief systems… they are something much deeper… much deeper. You can access them. You can go deep into understanding exactly what you truly believe. Again, it is not generally what you think you believe. We are going to talk a little bit today about how to take a look at that, how to change that, how to work with it.

Basically, everything is belief systems. It just depends on how broad or expansive the belief systems are, even on our side of the veil. The angels, the entities… their reality is shaped by their belief system. As Saint Germain so wonderfully talks about in the Dreamwalker School, even the entities that are disincarnate, no longer in human form, when they come across to our side of the veil, their reality is still shaped by the belief system. They carry it over with them. It can be worked on and refined and adjusted and expanded on our side.

But, eventually any entity will have to come back to Earth, even with an expanded set of beliefs to basically manifest them here on Earth to see how they play out. In the astral realms everything is a bit etheric, as it is were. Everything is a bit temporary. So, it is about being able to bring the belief systems back to Earth in an expanded way, in an expanded consciousness for the soul, for the divine being to finally take it in, to finally meld it all together.

So, Shaumbra, belief systems - beliefs that you have - define and create the reality. That is your consciousness. That is your awareness level. Most humans live in a very limited or very restricted set of belief systems. They are very, very focused and sometimes extremely rigid.

You are learning to expand outside of that. You are learning that there is this thing called the imagination that expands the beliefs. You are learning that some very literal belief systems that you had about God, or about money, about food, and about the physical body were very limiting. They set up consciousness that basically you are uncomfortable in, that basically felt like wearing a very tight suit of clothes. And, you are ready to expand out and beyond.

So, our guests today have been studying consciousness. They have been studying their own belief systems. They have been studying how the belief systems literally feed themselves.

If there is a certain belief system that you have, it literally plays itself out externally. If you believe that life on Earth is basically a punishment, that you are fallen angels, and that you come here trying to have the mercy and the grace of God… well, that becomes a very unconscious, a very deep belief system. You don't even think about it. You don't even recognize it's there.

And, then you start to play it out. You start to act it out. Now, you are literally creating it all around you because it is your filter, or it is your bias. And, now it becomes reality. You see the world now through the eyes of the judgment, through eyes of being a fallen angel, through the eyes of perhaps dark or evil. You see the world as being a type of punishment. You see it as a type of penitentiary or prison where you have been sent until you learn the correct way.

You literally live that out. And, we are not talking specifically to you. We are talking generally about humans who hold that belief system. You literally live that out. And, what happens is it reinforces the belief because now everything happening around you seems cruel, seems rather punishing, seems like this is some type of spiritual punishment that you've been sent to. It reinforces the belief system, the consciousness, which then becomes even more rigid.

That is the way it is with our guests on this day. They knew that they had very limited consciousness. They knew they didn't necessarily like it, but they didn't know how to move through it. They didn't know what to do with it. That is why they stopped on the way to the Bridge of Flowers to study, to look at it, to observe Shaumbra to see how you are changing consciousness.

One of the things that they discovered was that there are many, many things that feed the spiritual and human being. These things that feed the spiritual and human being… they are like cords or connections that literally feed into the consciousness of the human being on Earth. And, today we are going to take a look at what feeds you. We are going to take a look, just like our group of guests has been doing.

They have been asking what fed them when they were on Earth. What is feeding them now when they are in the other realms? Once you understand what feeds you, what sustains you, then you can begin to understand your belief systems, your consciousness. Then, you can begin to truly work with changing it.

So, what feeds you, Shaumbra? Let us discuss that on this day. And, let us talk about it not from the point of judgment, or right or wrong, simply what feeds you. We are going to ask each one of you who are listening, or who are here today, to do some homework, even after we leave here, to observe in your life what feeds you.

No, we're not just talking about your physical body, for you know your physical body is fed by the food that you put into it. But, how does it feed you? We want you to observe the various things you put into your body and what you are thinking or feeling as you put it in. Do you feed your physical body with life-force energy foods, like vegetables and fruits? Do you feed your body meats, or starches and breads and grains? Do you feed your body with water? Do you feed your body with alcohol? Do you feed your body with sugar?

And, again we are asking you to be the observer. There is no judgment at all, for you can indeed live an entire life feeding yourself with high sugar and very little other nutrients, whether it is from the plants or from the animals. And, you can sustain your body. But, be aware of how you feed your body, how it goes in, how it feels, what you are thinking as it goes in.

So often we are asked these questions about the weight and about diet. It isn't necessarily about the specific food that you put in. It is about the consciousness that you have. There is a direct relationship to the beliefs that you have as the food is going in.

Now, we felt some of you almost cringe or shudder when we talked about nothing but sugar. "Well, that couldn't be right." But, that is a belief that you have. That is only a belief. And, it is subject to change. Perhaps, in years from now, perhaps there will be new books and new scientific studies that come out, 50 years from now, and say that these diets, these pure health food diets did actually more harm to the physical body than a pure sugar diet. Who knows? It's all a belief, Shaumbra. And, we are asking you to start observing that.

How would you feed your body? How does your body respond to it? Are there digestive problems? Are there energy problems? When do you feed your body? Do you have the belief system that you have to eat breakfast? We hear these authors and these supposed experts talking about what is the optimum time to eat and why the breakfast is so important… perhaps, it is… but perhaps it isn't.

They are all belief systems. It is all consciousness. It is all about how you are feeding yourself as a human, spiritual being on Earth right now. The food feeds the body but much more than that also. What you are doing is feeding consciousness at the same time. You're digesting a whole set of belief systems, whether they truly serve you or not.

So, we are asking you to take a look at, Shaumbra, what feeds your body… how it is the being fed… when is it being fed. These are important things and part of a growing and expanding awareness or consciousness. It is about recognizing what you are doing right now in your life. Now, again it would seem obvious. You'd think that you are very aware of things in your life.

But, Shaumbra, we have to tell you, there is so much more that is happening. You haven't allowed yourself to be aware of thoughts and feelings that are taking place every moment of time. You've shut yourself off from it in a way, partly because your mind couldn't handle all of the input. But, your mind is changing also, the way it works. It doesn't work in the old-fashioned way anymore. It is changing. It is adapting to the new you. It is processing information in a whole new way right now.

So, be aware, be cognizant of what is happening. How are you feeding yourself? Now, that is a very rudimentary example of feeding self. Now, let us take a look at many of the other ways that you feed yourself.

Remember, with our guests today, they have been studying this. They have been looking at it. Now, they are going to be coming back to Earth in the next dozen years of time, or earlier, with this understanding, hoping to keep it in their consciousness, even as they come back here. They are looking, and they are asking the questions - what feeds consciousness… what feeds self… what creates reality… how can I allow myself to live in a broader, larger reality while on Earth - because the ability to do this truly provides the opportunity for more of the divine energy to come in.

What are you feeding yourself, Shaumbra, right now? Take a look at it. Are you feeding yourself, your consciousness, yourself with anger? So many do. Anger is an energy. It feeds the self. It brings energy in.

Now, food, of course, is an important part of feeding, but it is nothing now compared to some of the - what you would call - non-tangibles, energies that you are bringing in to sustain you. On our side of the veil we don't eat food. We don't have to, unless we want to. We can't eat it in the same way you do.

So, we need to be fed also. Our spiritual being has to be fed from something. Something has to sustain consciousness. So, even we are always bringing in things. Something is feeding us. Basically, if you want to the look at the physics of it, we are taking energy from "the field," which is neutral; in a sense, it doesn't even exist. We are "dualizing" it. We are then breaking it down into duality elements. We are shaping it into potentials.

And, then that energy flows into - whether you are an angel, whether you are human - that energy then flows into your reality. It feeds you and sustains you. You are the one determining the vibration or the expansional characteristics of that energy coming in that's feeding you. It's coming from the Source of All, coming into you. But, you are shaping it.

So, we are asking you now once again to look at what is feeding you in your life right now. Is it anger? Anger is an energy, a very strong, a very dualistic energy, and it comes into your life. Yes, anger can feed you. It feeds the spirit and the consciousness.

Some of you wonder why you're trying to live these calm and peaceful lives. You think you have to be peaceful to be spiritual. And, that is a bunch of crap (some laughter). And, then you bring anger in. Why are you doing that? Why do you feed yourself with anger? And, there is no judgment here. Anger is - we feel - is very appropriate sometimes. But, what does it do for you? How is it serving you, Shaumbra?

Sometimes you feed yourself with laughter. It sustains the spirit. You bring laughter in in a variety of different ways. You tell jokes, or you associate with people who are funny. Or, perhaps you sit down and watch a movie or a television show that has comedy. And, there is laughter in that.

Laughter is an energy, and it feeds you. How are you bringing it in? Why are you bringing it in, Shaumbra? How does it feed you? Again, we are asking you to be the observer here.

Everyone gets fed. Everyone brings in energy, whether you're human or angelic. Everyone is being fed. Once you understand how you're being fed, how you're bringing energy into your reality, then you can understand how consciousness is shaped, how belief systems define reality and how then you can expand outside of what you believe to be the limitations of reality.

Some of you feed yourself with victim-hood. It is a very delicious food, isn't it? You like to be victims. Oh, you complain about being the victim. You whine about being the victim. You like to blame others. You like to always talk about outside energies that are keeping you down and out. You love even making up things from past lives that will enable you to continue to be a victim in this lifetime, even if they didn't really happen to you.

You are feeding yourself with victim energy. That's not so bad. It allows you to play an incredible role. It allows you to not have to face the high potential of who you are. You get to play this thing as a victim. It is feeding you. It is like an intravenous tube going right into your system, going right into your consciousness. And, you continue to feed off of it.

You get hungry. And, you call on victim energy. Well, what happens? Obviously, you're going to bring in the victimizers into your life. You're going to be creating them and bringing them in so they can put you down one more time, so it gives you something to complain about. It gives you a reason not to do something.

We're not saying it's bad. Again, there is no judgment in this. We're only asking you to take a look at how you feed yourself.

Some of you feed yourself through accolades from others, from others who praise you for being a grand being, praise you for being a loving and wonderful human being. You need that food from the outside, those who tell you how awesome you, how they've never met such an incredible human before. Some of you feed yourself that way.

Again, there's no judgment. I love doing that (some laughter). But, I would have to say that at a certain point you get balanced enough to know that this is just flattery. Flattery is an energy. And, it comes into you. And, you can chuckle at it, and you can also change it so it doesn't - how to say - explode you from the ego. You literally can change any of these feeding energies.

But, some of you do that. It is a fun thing to do, unless you get caught up in it, unless you get so addicted to that energy of having to receive praise and thanks and acknowledgment from others that you have to continue seeking it out. Well, then you start creating a reality where you are always on your "white horse," always having to save and help others. Why? Well, not for the sake of saving and helping others! You're doing it to feed off of that energy and have everybody tell you how wonderful you are. And, again we find it incredibly delightful… if you don't take yourself too serious about it.

Some of you feed yourself creatively. This is one I love. You love doing creative things because it brings about an energy. And, it feeds you; it sustains you. Well, you are at your very core a creative being, or a Creator being. So, when you do things like painting, when you do things like even a sketch on a notepad, idling your time while you're sitting in a boring meeting… well, that is feeding yourself. You're not doing it to show anybody else in the room. You're not even doing it because you think you're a grand artist. It is feeding a creative desire deep within you. It is actually helping to connect you to that creative center inside.

Again, we want to make very certain - and our group of guests want to make very certain - there is no judgment in any of this. They had to look at it in their own life. They had to go through several years of classes here - discussions and studies and truly looking at themselves - and asked themselves the same thing. "What was feeding us in our last lifetime on Earth?"

Perhaps, it was money. Money is an incredible energy unto itself. Money can be addictive. Money can also be a beautiful thing. There are a few in our group today of guests who were caught up in that. Their whole life from childhood until death was about making money. They were born into it, in a way. It was their karma. They spent their whole lifetime trying to make money. They measured themselves and their consciousness based on how much money they made.

Oh, the money itself is just paper. And, now in your new society it is just a digit going across the Internet into a computer in a banking system. But, they were caught up in the energy of money. It would feed them. The energy of dollars, of francs, whatever you want to call it, it would feed them. And, they felt they had to keep making more and more money in order to feed themselves, whereas once they might have been satisfied with 100,000 then they had to make 500,000 because their body, their spiritual body, was calling to be fed more and more.

So, what feeds you, Shaumbra? What feeds you?

Status… another one. Status is interesting because most of the time those who are fed by status don't recognize it. They don't even see it; it is so unconscious to them. They are fed by their status in the community. It is also their way of looking at themselves as others consider them to be the best in the neighborhood, the best in the community, the best in the state. It feeds their energy. And, they continue to need more and more of it, more status, more acceptance by others. So, status can be a way of feeding the self as well.

Self-righteousness is another way of feeding yourself, becoming so righteous with everything that you are, even though you know inside that you may not be right. We have to laugh sometimes. The self-righteous are screaming out inside for somebody to truly prove them wrong so they can get off their stupid horse (some laughter). But, they will continue to present this self-righteousness. It is feeding them. It is a way of them validating themselves, even though something on the inside doesn't feel right. But, they feed themselves with this type of thing. Again, no judgment… self-righteousness can be a wonderful energy to play with, as long as you recognize that it is just a game.

How do you feed yourself, Shaumbra?

Perhaps, with a book… perhaps with television… perhaps with a movie. What is happening when you're deeply engrossed in any one of these entertainment things? When energy is coming back to you, you are feeding yourself. You've allowed yourself to go off into the ethers and to open consciousness and experience what is being written about or acted about.

But, there is something that is feeding you. What is it? What is the energy that is coming back to you? "Yes," you say to yourself often, "I just need a break. I need to read a book or watch a movie." You think you are going into a neutral zone. But, you are not at all. Many things are happening.

Perhaps, you are feeding yourself by getting out of your mind for a while, and allowing your heart and your emotions to open. Perhaps, you are feeding yourself by shutting off the outside world during that time so you can get back in touch with yourself. Perhaps, you are feeding yourself by activating your imagination, particularly if you are reading a book, but also watching a movie or watching television.

If you observe what is going on, not just in your head, but throughout your entire being, it is not quiet at all, even if you are watching some television program. You are feeding. You are looking at the screen. You are observing the actors and the characters. You are observing their environment, the roles that they are playing out, and you are feeding back into your consciousness. You are feeding back into your reality.

It is like a gas line, a fuel line coming right into you, feeding you somehow. It all has value, wonderful value. Don't try to cut off the feeding. You get very, very hungry. It has value. We just want you to be aware of how you are feeding yourself.

Drama… some of you love the drama. You feed off of it. Either you're intimately involved in it, or you're on the peripheral of drama from others. Sometimes you say to yourself, "But I'm Shaumbra. I am a spiritual being. I cannot get involved in the drama." But, yet you are always around it. It is always happening with people around you.

And, you perhaps say, "Well, why does that happen? Why does there always seem to be drama around me?" It is because you are feeding off of it. It is a very strong, seductive, dualistic energy. It feeds your spirit. It feeds your reality and your consciousness.

Sometimes you get caught up in it. And, you get so upset with yourself. "I shouldn't get caught up in this drama." But, you're getting caught up because somehow it's feeding you. It's giving you something. Be aware of that. Take a look at it. Make no judgment.

We cannot say that enough. Make no judgment about it. It's there for a reason. You are involved with it for a reason. We don't want you saying, "Well, drama is wrong. Self-righteousness is wrong. Or, victimization is wrong." We simply want you to understand why it's there. How does it feed you, Shaumbra?

Some of you feed yourself on work. You work very, very hard. You work long hours. You're always working. You justify it. You say, "But I have to. I have to work. There is so much to do." We say that you are just feeding yourself. You like that work energy. You like bringing it into your life. It's serving a purpose.

What is it? What is that purpose? Now, be mindful here. It's not just about that you have some goals to achieve. It's not just about that you have a limited number of years, or that you're supporting family members and you have to work so hard. Those are all the surface level issues and reasons. There are some bigger reasons. How is it feeding you? What energy is that hard, hard work giving you? What is it doing to sustain your spirit and your being?

Some of you love gossip. You love to gossip. You love to talk about others. There is an energy of gossip that is very real, very potent, very, very strong. You can't avoid gossip, it seems. Sometimes you chastise yourself afterwards. You say, "I say I shouldn't have gotten involved in that gossip." All it is is food, food for the soul. Even gossip is food for the soul. How is it feeding you? What is it doing? What are the dynamics? Is it just because it is highly charged energy?

Now, don't go intellectual here. The answers aren't that deep, and they aren't hidden anyway. Sometimes it is just an injection of strong energy that you bring into your life. Sometimes you feel you need that energy to get you going. Sometimes after a good gossip session, you feel more energized, more alive than you did before the gossip session. So, somehow it's feeding you.

Take a look at it. Don't try to analyze it, Shaumbra. Just take a look. "Why is that energy feeding me? What's it doing?" Well, it's probably just pumping you up, probably giving you like an injection of strong energy.

Here is another one - depression. Now, a lot of you will say, "Well, depression doesn't feed me at all. It takes away from me." Oh, not at all, not at all. It is like a very thick soup, depression. It is very thick, very heavy. But, it is feeding you somehow. It is a type of spiritual food.

It's there for a reason, not because you are bad, not because you have a chemical imbalance. My God, the last thing that it is is a chemical imbalance! That is only what science sees, but it is something much different. It is an energy. And, it is feeding you, even though you think it is robbing life force energies. Take another look at it. What is behind this energy of depression? Why is it in your life? Why is it a constant battle and a challenge?

Relationships - how do they feed you? How does the energy of your mate, your partner, feed you… or your children? Many times you tell us that your partner is taking away from you, keeping you back. No, your partner is feeding you. Somehow, some way, there is an energy there that is serving you in a way. It is bringing you energy… it truly is. It is helping to support and sustain your consciousness and sometimes even your illusions. It is serving a purpose. Your children, the same way… they are feeding you somehow. What energy is coming in from that?

Gaia feeds you all the time. That is what Gaia is here to do. She feeds you an energy, not just for your physical being, but for your overall spiritual, mental, physical. Gaia is like a manufacturing plant. This energy of Earth… she is continually cranking out energy, a very base or very root energy, something that is going to help sustain your physical body. But, there are other energies associated with Gaia, consciousness energies that she is constantly manufacturing, constantly making available to you. Some of you discover that when you go for a walk in the woods or a drive in the country or you go out to the ocean.

But, ask yourself next time - how is Gaia feeding me? And, again there is no wrong. There is no wrong being fed. Every entity needs to be fed somehow, needs a sustaining energy. So, how is Gaia is serving you in your life? What is Gaia doing?

Some of you have to have suffering in your life. Perhaps, it is physical or emotional. You say you don't like it. But, if you didn't truly like it, didn't truly want it, it truly wouldn't be there. You're bringing suffering in at some level because it feeds you. It is an energy. Imagine it is an energy that flows along a type of etheric pipeline, coming right into you, right into your consciousness, into your Now moment.

Joy is an energy. It can feed very well. Many of you receive joy in your life. And, it feeds you just like any of the other energies do.

Religion - one of the most toxic foods of all (some laughter) - religion can feed those who are in that belief system. It continues to reinforce what they feel about themselves. It continues to reinforce their reality and their consciousness. Again, we are not saying that there's anything wrong with it. It is simply an energy, a food that comes into your being, particularly those religions that have a lot of dogmas, a lot of rules, a lot of books and a lot of studying. All that is, Shaumbra, is food, spirit energy food, consciousness food. That's all it is.

And, then they write more and more books. They have to because you have to keep feeding. And, if you are feeding from a - what we would call - a limited source, a defined source, you have to keep feeding more and more. You have to keep making new rules, writing more books, creating more laws, creating more concepts about God. It is just food for the soul. That's all it is.

Shaumbra… it's a food. You're sitting here right now, sucking off the tit of Shaumbra, feeding yourself (audience laughter). This energy of Shaumbra, of Crimson Circle, of Tobias and the Crimson Council, it is a food. Again, no judgment. Why are you bringing it into your life? What is it doing for you? Again, this is not a matter of deciding what's right or wrong. It is simply a matter of taking a look at how you're being fed because once you understand how you're feeding yourself, then you understand how your reality is being created, then you can understand how to change that reality, then you can give yourself grander permission… you see.

You feed yourself in so many different ways. You feed yourself through the air, just through breathing. Breathing is an incredible way of feeding yourself. It feeds your reality. It feeds your dreams and desires. Breathing feeds your spirit.

It is more than just taking the oxygen from the air. There is spirit energy in the air. And, you breathe that in. That feeds your reality base. It feeds your sense of beingness. When you do the deep spiritual breathing, it feeds partly your own desire for grander consciousness and expanded consciousness.

Sleeping… it feeds you. It's not just about resting. There is an energy associated with sleep and with dreams that is feeding you. So often in your dreams you do go out into the other realms. You go out harvesting or shopping. You go out picking basically celestial fruit from the tree and allow that to come back with you into your reality here when you wake up. What happens when you are sleeping?

Be aware of how you are feeding yourself, how you are feeding your consciousness. Everything you do in your life… the healing work… the facilitation work… whether you are giving it or getting it… is about feeding yourself. Whether you are the victim or the victimizer…whether you are the creative or the intellectual…whether you are the child or the parent… all of it is feeding you one way or the other, creating your reality. So, when you are ready to change your reality, when you are ready to change consciousness, you have to be aware of how you are feeding it in the first place, how you are sustaining yourself.

That is what our group of guests today have been working on and studying. They've looked at all of the different ways they fed themselves. Some of them had actually dabbled in what you call dark or evil energies, as you know. They had fed themselves that way; that is another type of food, another way of giving yourself energy.

Some of them did it by being what we would call the spiritual social workers, always having to counsel others, always having to be there, the listener, the counselor. You know the type. You are the type, many of you (some laughter). You always are the ones your friends can come to. Well, they're feeding off of you for one. But, you're feeding off of them.

Something is happening in a reality exchange here between the two of you. And, you thought it was just because you were a caring and compassionate person. Oh, it was truly because you just needed that food. You needed that energy to come into your life. Again, no judgment here… these are observations of a spiritual being.

Health issues, health… you feed yourself through health. You thought that health was the byproduct of how you fed. But, you feed yourself through your health and health issues. If you are constantly sick, constantly getting colds or the latest and most fashionable disease, you are feeding yourself with that energy somehow or the other, just as much as if you are always healthy. It is feeding you.

There is always energy input into your reality base. And, it creates consciousness that creates your true experiences in life. How are you feeding yourself, Shaumbra? Sitting by a fire at night, just relaxing, drinking a glass of wine is more than sitting by a fire drinking a glass of wine. There is a feeding that's going on, energy coming into your consciousness, into your reality, shaping and defining your reality.

It is happening when you are driving down the road. There is a feeding that's going on at that time. What is happening when you're driving down the road? Perhaps, the impatience of needing to get somewhere… perhaps the living by the clock, needing to rush off somewhere… that feeds you as well. Perhaps, you daydream when you're driving down the road. That feeds you.

Whatever it is, Shaumbra, look at it. Every aspect of your life, feel it. Feel exactly what's going on.

Conversations you have with others are more than conversations you're having with others. When you join together with friends, loved ones… you go out to dinner… you just have a talk over the phone… you are being fed. They are energy exchanges between you and the others. But, there are also different types of energy coming in from other places, other sources once again helping to define your reality.

Sex… you always like to talk about sex. So, let's discuss it. It's not just about sex. You are feeding yourself somehow. You're bringing energy in, perhaps the energy of love from the other person, perhaps the energy of physical satisfaction. But, there are more; there are other layers and levels, other things that are happening.

If you could - and not dishonor your partner - take a moment while you are engaging in love and sex. Take a moment and say, "What is happening here?" Don't tell them that's what you're thinking at the time (some laughter). But, say, "How am I being fed? How is my spirit, how is my reality, my consciousness being fed at that moment?"

Everything you do is about being fed somehow or the other. That's why you are doing it. Perhaps, you are teaching others right now or facilitating others. You are being fed. It is not just about working with them. Somehow you are being fed as well.

It's an amazing thing to discover, an amazing thing to become aware of all of the different ways you're being fed. You want to do this without the judgment. You want to do it without determining right or wrong. Embrace every way you're feeding yourself. Love every part of it.

Perhaps, there are continuous struggles in your life. You just can't seem to get over the hump, as they say. Well, that's feeding you, one way or the other. It's not that God is handing this down, saying, "We're going to make the road a little tougher for Mary today, just because… well, just because (some laughter) somebody has to have a tough road." Spirit doesn't work like that.

You are deriving energy from it. It is helping you to shape and form consciousness and eventually reality. One way or the other you're being fed off of everything… very simple.

You're at this point, Shaumbra, where you need to begin observing it in every way. Keep a notebook. Make a record of it in your own being. Be very observant and aware of every different way that you get fed, all of your activities. Why do you do certain things the way you do? It's not because you're a bad person, not because you don't have willpower, not because others are leading you to it. It's serving you in some very direct and obviously some very beautiful way.

Alcohol and drugs… they can serve you. They can feed you. Oh, it's not just about getting drunk, or taking a trip, being doped up. There is another energy that comes in when you use alcohol or the drugs. It is not just about the high that you get at that time. That is only what you think it is.

Something else is happening there. You're feeding yourself somehow. What is it? Is it that you are feeding yourself an escape energy, or perhaps a relaxation energy? Are you feeding yourself a way to expand your consciousness? Or, are you feeding yourself a way to collapse your consciousness, or perhaps deny it? You have to answer that for yourself. We can't answer that for you. But, somehow you're getting fed on it.

When you go out and take a long walk, something is happening. You're being fed… oh, and love being fed, by the way… love it… love being fed. It is just energy that is coming in to serve you, to help you shape your reality. It's basically energy you are calling out for. It is like you are standing on top of a mountain, calling out for a certain type of energy. And, then it comes in, even if later you think it is negative, later if you think it's painful, or limiting. Somehow you are calling out for it.

When you exercise, when you go to the gym and work out… oh, it's not just about toning your muscles. It's not just about keeping your body in shape. There is something else that is happening there. How is it feeding you? Ask yourself. The answer is quite simple. Ask yourself how that moment is feeding you.

And, again love it. Don't judge it. Don't say, "Well, this must be bad. Perhaps, I'm narcissistic that I have to work out all the time, that I have to keep a firm body." That is an Old Energy human judgment. When you ask yourself what's feeding you, do it from the grandest place of love and the grandest place of creation, no matter how low or how ugly you may think it is. It's actually quite beautiful.

So, we started today by saying "Give yourself permission to be who you are." Then, you discover through that who you really are, not just the limited self, but the Grand Self. Everything feeds you, one way or the other.

Your pets… they're feeding you, not just with love, not just with acceptance. There is another exchange taking place. How is that pet feeding you? Some of this you might not able to figure out in your mind right now. So, just feel the energy. Don't even try to put definition or words to it. Just feel it. "The energy from this beautiful pet is feeding me. I ask myself how." And, then wait for the answer. It will come to you. Oh, it's not that the animal has to serve you and is going through a long and miserable life trying to make you happy.

Some of you get into that low self-esteem energy. And, it's a way to feed yourself. But, my gosh, there is tastier food out there than that! (some laughter) Sometimes you just can't accept that things are just beautiful and wonderful no matter how it is. Perhaps, that pet just would have done anything to come back and be with you in this lifetime, just because it loves you for no other reason. It's not that it was indentured to you. It's not that it had to be with you. It's not its bad karma that it ended up with you one more time (more laughter).

But, some of you feed off that energy of low self-worth. "A dog couldn't have possibly wanted to come back," you say. "It probably had to. It probably felt so bad for me that it had to be here." Well, now you're feeding off an energy of low self-worth, one of Kuthumi's favorite topics (more laughter). It's just a food, Shaumbra. It is just something that's feeding you.

So, look at everything over these next - how to say, we aren't going to meet for a while, we see - six weeks of time. Look at everything. That is your homework: look at everything in your life that is feeding you. Write it down if you want to. Sing a song about it if you want to. Oh, yes, we'd love to hear some Shaumbra songs… "What Feeds Me"… or a poem or two perhaps.

As you begin to become very aware - but non-judgmental and non-intellectual - about what feeds you, you're going to be able to understand now what's creating your reality. And, when you understand what creates your reality, then you can understand what changes your reality as well. You want to change reality? It is really quite easy.

Some people say, "Well, how do you change consciousness?" The very first thing is questioning the belief system that you exist within. You've all done that before. That's why you are Shaumbra. Somewhere along the line in this lifetime you questioned the belief system, whether it was the one that was being co-created with your parents, your teachers, your nuns and priests and rabbis. Whatever it was, you questioned it somewhere along the line instead of just going along.

You see… you don't think that's unusual, but actually it is. Most humans don't question belief systems. They fight them. They get mad about them. They try to perhaps run from them. But, not that many humans actually question reality. They simply accept it.

Saint Germain has talked about this - the mass hypnosis. It's not a bad thing. It's an accepted-by-all thing. But, they just believe this is the way it is. They believe that if you are at a high-altitude, like this, that there is less oxygen in the air, and it's more difficult to breathe. Perhaps… but perhaps not. It is a belief system. And, any belief system is subject to and absolutely desires to change… you see… to reach a new level. Belief systems are never stuck permanently. They're only stuck by acceptance and desire.

As you understand what feeds you, you understand why your consciousness is where it's at. Then, when you start questioning the belief systems, you are questioning your reality, your reality that exists all around you. You question, "Why am I in this body? Why does this body have to sleep eight hours at night? Why does this body have to consume certain types of food?"

You start questioning the belief systems, even about the law… you see. Now, we are not encouraging you to go out and be lawless (some laughter). But, we are encouraging you to question why you accept it. Who wrote it?

Who wrote the Bible? It wasn't God - God doesn't know how to write (more laughter). God is illiterate (more laughter) by choice. God doesn't want to learn how to get into those intellectual things. So, Spirit itself is quite illiterate.

Who wrote the Bible? There are those who believe that it was written by God. We saw it was written by man. And, it was changed many times over, many times over. It is a wonderful story, but not wonderful enough for me to want to stay in it (audience laughter). I didn't want to be just another character in a book. I wanted to write my own books. So, Shaumbra, there are those who believe it, and the fear energy feeds them.

Yes, fear energy feeds you too sometimes, doesn't it? You create fears in your life, and then it feeds you. You think it is hurting you. It is helping you somehow.

Some of you create this grand level of nervousness when you have to go do something. You get nervous, and your stomach gets all upset. And, you get sweaty, and you get out of kilter. And, you think this is a bad thing. It's actually a wonderful thing. It's feeding you somehow. Fear is the same way. It feeds you.

Now, once you begin to understand there's no charge on it, once you begin to understand it is simply coming in to serve you in creating your reality and your consciousness, then it gets very fun. Then, you can start playing with anything. You can start shifting anything.

Once you question a belief system… as we were saying, the law… well, laws are written by man. Laws are written in order to try to keep harmony with a group of very strong angels living on Earth. Laws were meant to be a common consensus, but now have become either small-group agendas or individual agendas. So, why abide by any of the law? We are not saying to do it or not to do it. But, ask yourself why. What is this belief system?

How has law, how have rules fed you? How have the rules created by your office… those are some of the silliest rules that we've ever seen created in the work environment. They are designed to limit consciousness - that's all - limit consciousness. Oh, it's not a bad thing. It's a food. Limited consciousness allows a focus that allows everybody to - as you would say - be on the same page. And, it keeps you from going off in different directions. But, belief systems like that can only last for a short period of time because they're not based in a higher consciousness, especially consciousness like you are achieving.

So, laws… they are belief systems. And, some are afraid to even think beyond them, to say, "Why is that there? Well, that is quite silly." Or, perhaps it serves a reason. But, there is an energy, an underlying energy that supports consciousness. Laws - no matter what city, country that you are in - they help to define mass consciousness. That is all they are. They're defining mass consciousness.

And, you were told that you have to accept them, one way or the other; this is the way the law is. You have to believe in it, and if you don't, you'll get thrown in prison. Well, if you believe that, then you will create that. And, you'll go right along with the game. It is time to go beyond that, Shaumbra, time to move beyond.

There are so many beliefs about death. Saint Germain has been talking about this, some of the oddest, strangest beliefs about death. And, they are true because what you believe is then what you bring over and experience when you get to our side. And, there is no one, single right answer… other than what you believe is what you get when you get to our side. You will create it.

If you believe in hell, you're going to be in hell. If you believe, as Cauldre does, that hell can be fun, hell will be fun (some laughter). You see… there is even a belief system or food behind the word "hell." It's become so much a part of consciousness. You say "hell." You say "Satan." It immediately starts feeding. Those two words are feeding you right now, one way or the other. What feeds you, Shaumbra?

So, our dear group of guests has been looking at this. And, they are so excited about returning back to Earth and understanding how things are feeding them and creating reality, understanding that when they are not happy or satisfied with reality that they can question it. You can question it right now, your own reality first.. Don't go outside trying to question everybody else's reality.

Question your own reality. Question how you fit into all this. Question, "Does this reality serve me?" Don't question whether it's good or bad. Does it serve you, Shaumbra? If you feel you're limited because you don't have an education, it's a reality and a food that you're using to feed you. Does it serve you anymore? Or, is it like last week's clothing styles? Does it serve you? If it doesn't, question it. Why are you there? That tends to start breaking it down.

Questioning reality will cause it to break down the way it was molded, break back down into the original energy form, so now you can create new consciousness. So, what do you want consciousness to be in your life? Well, that is up to you. That is up to you.

Again, remember consciousness isn't from the mind. It's the deep soulful part of yourself. It's based much on experiences from the past that have created your level of belief and consciousness. And, it can be changed at any moment… if you truly believe it… if you truly let it be very flexible and very open. Question belief, and it begins to change.

Now, as it changes, two interesting things happen. As your consciousness changes, your reality starts changing also. Two things happen. First, you get very frightened because change is here. You believe that change is not good. Humans believe that in general. Many of you still believe that change, you think, is going to upset the applecart, is going to lead you to unknown areas. And, sometimes it is easier to stay in the known than to go into the unknown.

So, change the consciousness surrounding change (some laughter). The consciousness right now and what feeds you on the word "change" itself is a type of fear. Oh, it's an excitement and a fear energy that comes flooding into you. Even when we say the word "change," there is an excitement that you get out of the old rut, but a fear of what will come next.

So, move beyond this fear of change. Move beyond fearing the unknown. The unknown is simply potential - that is all it is. What you view sometimes as the vast unknown - "What's going to happen tomorrow; what's going to happen in 10 years?" - you view it as a vast darkness, unknown, frightening because you don't understand it. It is just potential - that is all it is, just potential.

So, you allow yourself now to go through change. Change is natural… or perhaps not. Change is evolution, energy seeking a new level, consciousness desiring to express itself in a new and different way. So, allow the change to come in. Shaumbra, allow your consciousness to open up.

What happens as your consciousness expands and your reality starts changing all around you, you begin to feed in a new way. You begin to feed in a new way. And, this is where the most amazing - how to say - drastic results, the most tangible things start happening. You see, you're going to have to spend some time looking at how you feed yourself. And, then you're going to allow your consciousness to change… if you desire.

And, then be aware of how you start feeding different. It's going to be amazing. You're going to feel like the old you had been connected to thousands and thousands of feeding tubes coming from anger… coming from laughter… coming from love… coming from gossip… coming from work… coming from suffering… all of these feeding tubes flowing into sustain you. When you move beyond, when you question reality and allow consciousness to change, you're going to find you don't need all of these feeding tubes anymore.

You're going to find that the feeding of self comes from self. It comes from within, as you would say, that the feeding tube that was always there from the divine to the human… from the divine to the one… the one that was always there… feeding you from the very beginning… sustaining your life… the pure, single breath of spirit that has always fed you. It is always there… going in… going out… going in… going out… predictable… always there… always with you.

Then, you can start disconnecting all of those other feeding tubes. They were just temporary. Actually, they were just getting in the way. They were just hindering you.

You don't need to derive your energies from drama… from suffering… from escape… from sex… from anything. Now, they are what you would call truly free-will experiences… you see. Now, you can go out and experience anything in your life and not have to rely on it for your feeding and for your sustenance and for your reality base. Now, you are just doing it for experience. Now, you are just doing it for fun. You're just doing it because you want to or perhaps don't want to. But, you're not having to use it to support yourself or sustain.

You'll find that things start truly changing. You feed from within. You don't need it from the outside. Now, you have so many more new and free choices. You're not in bondage. You're not held hostage by any of these external feeding methods. Your consciousness then will start changing very quick. And, your reality will seem so fluid, so open, so malleable by you, the Creator. It's very simple, very simple indeed.

So, now we're going to ask you to do this homework… if you choose. We're going to ask you to be very aware. Don't just take this Shoud that you have given yourself, walk out the door, and forget about it. Work with it. Work with these energies. How does anything in your life feed you right now?

Be patient with it. Spend some time and love and energy with it. Don't just drop it until next month where we have to say, "Did you actually become aware of what's feeding you?" If you're truly ready to move beyond, to move on, Shaumbra, be aware of everything that feeds you. Again, do it without judgment.

There is a whole group of guests here today, hundreds, who are observing and watching, who have taken a look at it from their own past life standpoint, but they wished they could be sitting in your chairs today. They wished they could be actually experiencing it on Earth right now, actually taking part in it. They have to reincarnate. They have to allow themselves to remember to do it. They have to come back. You are sitting here right now. You have the opportunity to do it and make a tremendous difference in how you create your reality.

So, it has been a delight being with you today, Shaumbra, much to digest, and much to observe. You are never alone in this work.

And so it is!

Tobias of the Crimson Council is presented by Geoffrey Hoppe, aka "Cauldre," in Golden, Colorado. The story of Tobias, from the biblical Book of Tobit, can be found on the Crimson Circle web site at www.crimsoncircle.com. The Tobias Materials have been offered free of charge to lightworkers and Shaumbra around the world since August 1999, the time when Tobias said humanity moved past the potential of destruction and into the New Energy.

The Crimson Circle is a global network of human angels who are among the first to transition into the New Energy. As they experience the joys and challenges of the ascension status, they help other humans on their journeys through sharing, caring and guiding. Over 50,000 visitors come to the Crimson Circle web site each month to read the latest materials and discuss their own experiences.

The Crimson Circle meets monthly in the Denver, Colorado area where Tobias presents the latest information through Geoffrey Hoppe. Tobias states that he and the others of the celestial Crimson Council are actually channeling the humans. According to Tobias, they are reading our energies and translating our own information back to us so we can see it from the outside, while experiencing it on the inside. The "Shoud" is the portion of the channeling where Tobias steps aside and the energy of the humans is channeled directly by Geoffrey Hoppe.

Crimson Circle gatherings are open to the public. The Crimson Circle receives its abundance through the open love and gifting of Shaumbra throughout the world.

The ultimate purpose of the Crimson Circle is to serve as human guides and teachers to those walking the path of inner spiritual awakening. This is not an evangelical mission. Rather, the inner light will guide people to your doorstep for your compassion and care. You will know what to do and teach in that moment, when the unique and precious human who is about to embark on the journey of the Bridge of Swords comes to you.

If you are reading this and feel a sense of truth and connection, you are indeed Shaumbra. You are a teacher and a human guide. Allow the seed of divinity to blossom within you in this moment and for all times to come. You are never alone, for there is family around the world and angels in the realms around you.

Please freely distribute this text on a non-commercial, no-charge basis. Please include the information in its entirety, including these footnotes. All other uses must be approved in writing by Geoffrey Hoppe, Golden, Colorado. See contacts page on website: www.crimsoncircle.com

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