The Guru Dilemma

The e2012 Series SHOUD 8
Presented to the Crimson Circle April 7, 2012
Original Website http://www.crimsoncircle.com/

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I Am that I Am, Adamus, in humble service to you.

Welcome, dear Shaumbra. It's taking me a moment to get adjusted to your new settings here. (The meeting room seating and stage area were redesigned since the previous Shoud.) I'm so used to some of you sitting in certain places, and now you've moved. Or it is that I've moved? Ah! The question.

But I do want to thank all of you for creating this new Adamus Theatre. Thank you. (audience applause)

So we gather on this very special day – special for a lot of reasons. You have your new set up. Of course, in the Adamus Theatre all of these cameras – all of these cameras, everywhere in the ceiling – ah yes, filmed at every location. You and me Pete.

PETE: Yes.

ADAMUS: Yes. (Adamus chuckles) Nobody can escape the scrutiny of the camera. Hm.

A Special Day

So, dear Shaumbra, a special day. Why? You have a new set-up, a new get-up, quite pleasant actually. Good for Cauldre's feet (there is new carpet), good for the viewing. You're between days, as dear Linda of Eesa mentioned, between Good Friday and Easter, between the whole energy of death and ascension here. You're here at a very significant time in your path, very significant time in the history of this Earth.

If you just take a deep breath for a moment, imagine the books that are going to be written twenty years from now – or a hundred – about this time. This time. Sometimes you may not even realize what's really happening, because you're just holding on tight, hoping that you can keep from being blown away in these winds and storms; hoping you make it through the end of the day when you can open the wine bottle, take a medicinal sip (laughter), and relax a bit; and then having a bit of anxiety before you go off to bed. Bed – once a place reserved for sex and dream state, going to sleep; now a place for more chaos, more tension, more trauma.

So you have just a few minutes before you go to sleep at night now to relax. The day is done. You're about to start your next assignment off in dream state. A place that you used to go to the lands filled with lollipops and rainbows and all these nice little friendly animals and in-laws that actually like you, and you'd go off into la-la dream state. But now, now, it is almost tougher than being here, almost more difficult.

You wake up in the morning half exhausted, perplexed, wondering what comes next, wishing for a moment you could go back into dream state. But no! You went running from there to get back to Earth! Laying in bed going, “I dare not get up, for another day is here. I dare not go back to sleep, because that is a scary place now.” It truly is.

Dream-state has changed. If you imagine dream-state kind of extends into the Near Earth realms – and beyond, and beyond – but it goes into the Near Earth realms. There are sections of these realms connected to human consciousness that are for dream states, and you go there. It is very, very intense right now. A lot of changes. It makes this change here look like nothing. (someone says “Ha ha.”) Ah ha, ha. Ha. Very intense.

This, I would have to say – this space that you've created here – is actually one of the true refuges that you have. One of the true places that you can come to and just take a deep breath, and you could go to sleep. Not! (Adamus chuckles) You can relax. You can laugh. This is a place for laughing and celebration and joy and just stopping for a moment from all that intensity.

So I want to start this Shoud off with some deep breathing. It is intense out there! It is intense in there! It's intense in the dream states. Where do you go? Well, you can come here. You can find that place within, but often that place within is very chaotic as well. Have you noticed?

So let's take a few minutes and do some really good deep breathing and relaxing. Here it is safe. It truly is. You only have to deal with me. Here you can relax. Let that anayatron, all that little energetic communication system go about repairing, rejuvenating your bodies. Your bodies are getting slammed with energy. Notice how your aches and pains, your muscles can be sore at times? Oh yeah. That's because of the intense energy.

Remember when I said that this was “The Year of Deliverance”? The year of deliverance, a lot of energy coming in from everywhere; energies coming in from the solar flares, bigger than ever, meaner than ever; energies coming in from the Earth, from all the realms. Energy everywhere, it's coming in. You asked for it. Now you're getting it and complaining about it.

Let's take a deep breath here in our sacred space, Shaumbra Central.

(pause)

Let's take a deep breath.

It's intense, and you get so critical of yourself for not being able to handle it. I was having tea the other day with some of the other Ascended Masters. Yes, we have tea and cigars. I was having tea the other day and we were talking about when we ascended hundreds, thousands of years ago, whenever it happened to be.

It was actually kind of boring back then. Things moved really slow. Things were very murky back then. Now it's intense. It changes every moment. We were chuckling amongst ourselves how difficult it is for you. How fun we're having working with you, but saying we're glad we ascended back when we did.

What, are you looking at the TV?! You look at me! (laughter) (Adamus' image was being shown on the large display at the front of the room.) What is this?! You look at the TV when it's live right here? I see you staring at the TV. No, I'm over here! (Adamus chuckles and audience laughter)

This is a reality distortion. This is very strange. I'm going to bring it up at tea next time with the Ascended Masters' club. “You can be there live in the room with them, but yet they watch the screen. Why is that? Why is that?” (someone says “It's new!”) No, you do it all the time. You'll be doing it a year from now.

So, dear Shaumbra, it's intense out there. Take a deep breath. Take a deep breath …

(pause)

… and it's going to continue to be intense. It is. It is. You have to be able to laugh at yourself. You have to be able to laugh with yourself and all of your aspects. Yes. Laugh with your aspects, because they're already laughing. So you might as well laugh along with them. (laughter and Adamus chuckles) And Aandrah knows exactly what I'm talking about. Out laugh your aspects. Yes. Laugh your ass-pects off. (laughter) You knew I was going to say that. Yes. Yeah. Another Shaumbra tee-shirt. Yes, yes.

And you have to be real with yourself. We're going to get into that today. By the way, today I'm not going to tell you much of anything. No, sorry. Ah! Ah, well… (laughter) and I heard somebody think, “He never does.” So you come here for the food. Right.

What I'm going to talk about today though is some reminders of things we've been talking about for a long time. You gave yourself these wisdoms long before you actually needed them. You gave yourself insights years ago before they were actually really necessary. At the time they seemed kind of like 'aha's.' Now they're going to be tools in your toolbox. They're going to be bandages in your first aid kit. They're going to be ointment. They're going to be sedatives for you.

But I bring them back now, bring some of the points back, because you did put these in your path ahead of the time that you would need them, and now you're going to need them. Now you truly need them.

It is intense out there, as we were talking in our tea club the other day. It is amazing that you're holding up as well as you are right now with everything going on. It is amazing that you can laugh. It is amazing that your body hasn't just fallen apart. It's amazing that you haven't blown sockets* in your mind – too many sockets, a few here and there. (laughter) Amazing that you can still identify with yourself. That's the amazing thing. Very, very amazing that you can still identify with yourself.

* Referring to something like light sockets or electrical connections
　　

Knowing Yourself

So I ask the question here – I'm going to ask Linda of Eesa to go to the board to write down the answers – on a scale of one to ten – 1, 10 – a scale of one to ten, ten being the most; one being the least. I'm going to ask David to take the microphone.

How well do you know yourself? And let's start over here, the table that always gets ignored. Eh, you choose, David. How well do you know yourself? Oh, ha! Hm. Don't worry about the camera.

BONNIE: Okay, I won't.

ADAMUS: And it just moved automatically – vrrr! Yes.

BONNIE: Kind of.

ADAMUS: Kind of.

BONNIE: I know.

ADAMUS: Kind of on a scale of one to ten. “Kind of” is not in one to ten.

BONNIE: Most one?

ADAMUS: No, least one. Least knowing yourself being one; most ten. How well do you know yourself?

BONNIE: Seven.

ADAMUS: Seven. Good. So we have one seven.

LINDA: So am I just writing the number seven?

ADAMUS: Just the number seven. Amazing. Simple. Okay, good. How well do you know yourself, Timothy at the camera? Other cameras zooms in on you from all over. They're descending on you. How well do you know yourself, Timothy?

TIMOTHY: Eight.

ADAMUS: Eight. Good, good. We've got a seven and an eight.

LINDA: Do you want them up and down or across?

ADAMUS: If I have to make those kind of decisions … (laughter)

LINDA: I'm just trying to accommodate you.

ADAMUS: … I'm going to go back for tea.

LINDA: I have no problem.

ADAMUS: Good question. Write them across please. Across. Next. Let's go straight back here to the gentleman on the floor. Ah, you almost missed him. He's on the floor.

MATT: Ten.

ADAMUS: A ten.

MATT: Yes sir.

ADAMUS: You know yourself ten. Good. Excellent. What's your name?

MATT: Matt.

ADAMUS: Matt. Good Matt. There is nothing else to know about yourself?

MATT: Well, there's what's still in the future.

ADAMUS: Eh, you're a ten. You're a ten. There's nothing else to know.

MATT: As here now? I don't feel, no.

ADAMUS: No. Good.

MATT: No.

ADAMUS: Excellent. There is no … in Adamus Theatre – I'm sorry – Shaumbra Theatre, there are no wrong answers. Well, actually there are no right answers. (laughter) Good. And let's go back over here to Mr. Collins. How well do you know yourself?

MR. COLLINS: Eh, good questions.

ADAMUS: I know. It's mine.

MR. COLLINS: Ehh, I'll say maybe a 6.5.

ADAMUS: 6.5. Good, good. Zeroing in. Zeroing in. Let's go to Lucky over here. Lucky.

LUCKY: Uhh, 8.5.

ADAMUS: Eight point … well, you've got to do it for the cameras. See the cameras? You see how they move without anybody touching them?

LUCKY: 8.5.

ADAMUS: 8.5. Good, good. Great. What is it in that other 1.5?

LUCKY: I think it's just you're always still learning more about yourself from other people's perceptions or your own, and yours.

ADAMUS: Yeah, good. Good. So you don't have too much further to go. You're almost there. It's only taken you 1,039 lifetimes to get to 8.5. That's not bad. I say we could do this in about 100 lifetimes. You'll be all the way there. Oh crap, right. Yes.

Speaking of which, Sart.

SART: Oh, it's got to be a 12. (laughter)

ADAMUS: Twelve. Ladies and gentlemen, I gave the variables one through ten. He is so full of … (Adamus points to Sart's tee-shirt which says “Crap”; audience reads it and says “Crap!” – more laugher) Good. Thank you for not understanding how to play the game.

SART: There are rules?

ADAMUS: There are only my guidelines. Yes. No rules. Good. Let's go here … ah, yes, to Ali. Ali, how well do you know yourself? One to ten.

ALI: Well, when you were talking about identifying yourself, I was thinking that's probably not a good thing if we're still identifying with ourselves. I mean, not good or bad, but probably …

ADAMUS: But where are you?

ALI: Maybe five.

ADAMUS: Maybe five.

ALI: And not sure about either way.

ADAMUS: Wavering around five. So put squiggly lines around five.

ALI: Yeah.

ADAMUS: Good. David you pick now. I'll just close my eyes. You choose the next. Yes.

LESLIE: Maybe a two, but moving up.

ADAMUS: Moving up. Good, good. You know, no hurry to get there. Take your time.

LESLIE: Well, it depends on the day.

ADAMUS: Yes, depends on … how are you today?

LESLIE: Well, probably closer to a ten than a two, but it could be a two ..

ADAMUS: That's a wide variance.

LESLIE: That's right. That's right.

ADAMUS: Okay, from ten to two. Two to ten.

LESLIE: Yeah.

ADAMUS: Yes. Yeah, ten, four, two – a little Dr. Pepper going on over here.* Good. Good. You pick, David. Jeffrey?

* Reference to an old marketing campaign for the soft drink “Dr Pepper” where “Dr Pepper Time” was at 10, 2 and 4 o'clock. Ref: Wikipedia

JEFFREY: Zero.

ADAMUS: Zero. Oh, with a little violin music playing there. Zero.

JEFFREY: Starting over.

ADAMUS: Yeah, zero. Okay. Wow. Wow. Okay. I'll leave that one go. How about Mofo – I mean … (laughter as Adamus addresses Marty who said “Mofo” in the previous Shoud) One to ten, MF, my friend.

MARTY: Oh yeah!

ADAMUS: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MARTY: I'd have to say these days I'm getting pretty close. It's a nine.

ADAMUS: You're going downhill?

MARTY: Yeah.

ADAMUS: Yeah, yeah. Where are you? You're a nine?

MARTY: Nine. Uh-huh.

ADAMUS: You're nine, and you're going backwards?

MARTY: No, I'm getting close to “complete knowledge, grasshopper.”

ADAMUS: Oohhh really! (laughter) Ehhh, nine is the number of completion. Right? Numerologically – number of completion? Mofo is at nine. Uh uh. (Adamus shakes his head and chuckles)

MARTY: Ohhhh! ..

ADAMUS: Okay, nice try. I love it. Good, good. And let's do two more. Two more.

DAVID: One.

ADAMUS: One for David.

DAVID: Yes.

ADAMUS: No, two more people. Yeah, kind of confusing in there. Yes. So you're at a one.

DAVID: Yes.

ADAMUS: Yeah, two more people. So let's do one. John Kuderka. Quiet one. Wise one. Where are you at, sir?

JOHN: Twenty-two.

ADAMUS: Twenty-two. Ah, one of those Master numbers. A Master number.

LINDA: Twenty-two.

ADAMUS: He's at four. (laughter) Is that good? Is that bad? Good, and one more.

PETE: Six.

ADAMUS: Six. Good. Okay. So Linda, very quick now, add the numbers in your mind and what's the average?

LINDA: Oh no way! (laughter) No, I'm in a zone.

ADAMUS: Some of you have already done it. Some online – not the ones here, but some of you online – you've been adding away either in your head or at your calculators. So what is our approximate average here if you take out the ones that didn't follow the guidelines – take out the 12, take out the 22 – the two between ten becomes – let's call about it about a 4 1/2, and then very quickly calculating, calculating …

(pause)

It doesn't matter! It doesn't matter. It truly doesn't, and my point today, in this first round of the discussion, my point today – it doesn't matter. Actually, if it did matter, I would say it would be best to be closer to zero, because that's the way you're heading. Yeah, yeah.

You work your way up, you work your way up, thinking you know who you are, thinking that you've gotten this all figured out. My dear friends, drop it like a hot potato. Drop it right now. You're not going to know who you are, thank god. There is no number ten. There's not even a good 9.9 for those on the spiritual path.

What are you eating over there, Laughing Bear?

LAUGHING BEAR: Goodness.

ADAMUS: Can we get a camera shot of your goodness? My god! My god! (Adamus shows Laughing Bear's full plate to the camera.) Look at that! (laughter) Yeah … yeah, right here (to the camera). Right here so everybody in the world can see what Laughing Bear is eating, right during the middle of this sacred lecture.

LINDA: He's enjoying the buffet! He's enjoying the buffet!

ADAMUS: Like you didn't just have a break. Would you like some? (laughter as Adamus starts offering the plate to others.)

LINDA: You're going to scare him off. He hasn't been here for a while.

ADAMUS: No? No. Linda?

LINDA: No! Give that back to him! How rude!

ADAMUS: Humans and their food. Actually, my dear friend, I just blessed this for you. (Adamus waves his hand over the food, then breathes on it)

LINDA: Ohhh! (Laughing Bear gives him some beads.)

ADAMUS: Uh, thank you! Thank you. (He puts the beads on)

LAUGHING BEAR: You're welcome.

ADAMUS: Put it on like this. (laughter) That is heavy.

LINDA: So Laughing … he's rewarding bad behavior. That's nice.

ADAMUS: Absolutely. Yes. So, as … (Adamus is trying to put the beads on) … as I was saying, as I was saying, it's best actually to …

LINDA: (coming to look at the beads) It's interesting.

ADAMUS: Wardrobe adjustment, yes.

LINDA: Do you need any more help with it?

ADAMUS: (Adamus picks up something on the string of beads) What was smoked in here? (laughter) (Linda adjusts the beads for him)

As I was saying, it is best to be closer to a zero right now, because that's the way you're going. It's an interesting evolution, and I'll write at the board now, if you don't mind. Thank you. Thank you.

LINDA: Let me turn the page for you. Did you want these numbers saved?

ADAMUS: You get to a point in this whole getting to know yourself thing. You get to a point of … you get to a seven and you start feeling pretty good about yourself. (Adamus begins drawing a circle that's not quite closed) Beginning point (12 o'clock); you get down here in the three to four (o'clock), it feels pretty bad; you get down here into about the five, six and you start coming up here into the eight, nine, you feel pretty good about yourself. You're getting there. You're getting to know who you are and then – chhhkkkpppp! (going backwards) – it almost reverses itself. Have you noticed that? (a few people say “Yes”) Yes, yes.

Almost like when you feel that you were right about there, you almost had this thing licked, so much so that you were just about ready to write your book – “I'm Getting to Know Me, Getting to Love Me” – suddenly, it crumbles, falls apart, and that's a good thing.

You put that there. You put that explosive booby trap there – knowing that you were going to step on it, knowing that it would blow you up – on purpose, because there is no ever getting to know yourself. Not in the human terms, that is. You don't want to get to know yourself that well, because then you become stuck.

I'll return these. (Adamus gives the beads back to Laughing Bear) They've been blessed also, not by me.

LAUGHING BEAR: Yes.

ADAMUS: Yes.

You get to the point where you exploded. You let it go, because you realized that that identity that you think you're getting to know is absolutely false. Absolutely. Not bad false, just delusional false, illusional false.

So you sabotage it, in a way. You let it go so that you can truly evolve, so that it's not about getting to know yourself; it's just being the I Am. I know it's a little bit of a nuance there, but you let it go, because, first of all, you're never going to get to that ten. You'll get to 9.99999 and then it blows up. So why even try anymore? If you're at that 4 1/2 or the 8 or the 22, John, why even try? Let it go. It's a game that can't be won and really shouldn't be won. It's a game that requires a tremendous amount of energy, and the prize at the end is really the discovery – only the discovery – that getting to know yourself was an illusion. An illusion.

Suddenly, for many of those who think that they have really gotten to know themselves, they discover, as Aandrah knows, that they've gotten to know one aspect. And then there are two more aspects, ten more, a hundred more, that they have to get to know. And then they're caught in this type of maze. They're caught in this strange world of illusions. And it's very easy to get lost while you're in that strange world of illusion.

So here we are at a point where you can say it's not even important anymore. It's really not. It's really not. There's no need to even search for it. It is just about being the I Am every day. Not having to search for it, but knowing that it's here. It's getting to just be in experience rather than search. That's all.

The funny thing is, when you get to that point, then you really start getting to know yourself – but not yourself the human self; yourself the God, the I Am.

So let's take a deep breath with that.

(pause)

It's a small difference, but it's an important difference. Small difference in getting to know yourself and just, you could say, being yourself.

So let go of all the energy that you've been focusing on that, it's not even important.

Next, let's talk about what's happening right now. By the way, we will … Cauldre's asked for time for questions at the end, so we will allow some time. So start thinking now of all of those good questions that you're going to ask, we'll allow time.

(Adamus pauses)

I didn't hear any applause. Matter of fact, I felt fear! (laughter) Ah, Linda may just take that microphone into the audience later for volunteer questions.
　　

Current Energies

So … all right, next. What's happening?

We're in April, early April of 2012, the year of deliverance of grand energies, also grand change. No wonder that somebody came up with the bright idea of even changing this room. And while it might seem small on a worldly scale, actually it is quite significant, because you've changed the energy for those who come on a regular basis. Something different in here. Something going on in here. Some of you are liking it. Some of you – I have heard – some of you, even though you say, “Oh yes, it's very nice,” you're thinking, “I want to go back to the old way. I got used to the old way. I got comfortable. I knew where to sit. I knew who was sitting around me. I knew where to look. I knew where that damn camera was.”

So there's a certain level of discomfort with that change. Well, this is a year of tremendous changes, deliverance of energies at an unprecedented rate. Unprecedented.

It's interesting to observe what's happening on a global basis right now. As these energies are coming in from all places, everywhere, people are trying to cope with it or understand it. They're trying to define it. Actually, I don't like when people try to over-define it, because then it gets mental. It's just a simple matter of a lot of energies causing a lot of change, all as a result of humanity raising their hand and saying, “We're ready.” It's that simple.

These energies are coming in right now, and they're being internalized by people in general, by individuals in general. They're being internalized. People are trying to understand what's – I'm not talking about just Shaumbra, I'm talking about everyone – they're trying to understand what's going on. Why do things feel different? They're trying to justify it or understand it up here (head). They're trying to say, “Well, it's because this and this changed.” They're generally way off track. It's just an increased amount of energy.

If you were a light bulb used to 110 volts coming in at you to light you up and suddenly there was 130, you're going to feel a little different, and you're going to wonder “What's gong on? Why can't I seem to handle this the way … I sure am bright, but will I burn out?”

Suddenly, it goes up to 220 and then 440 and higher and higher, and it's freaking people out. A lot of them will try to avoid it. They'll try to deflect it. They'll try to pretend it's not there. So what do they do? They go back to … they go back. They go back to old ways. They say, “Whatever is happening isn't working, so I'm going to go back to what used to work.” You tend to do that.

When you get in a little trouble, you say, “I'm just going to go back to what worked last year or ten years ago, because I knew that worked.” Well, take a moment, look back; it really wasn't working that well back then either. You handled it. You got through it. You learned from it, and more than anything, you experienced with it.

So right now in general these energies are coming in, and I would say if they're hitting anything, if they're landing on anything within a person, it's their mind. That's why you see an epidemic of people taking antidepressants and these other medications. Just drink wine. You don't need all of that. In moderation. What's moderation, Elizabeth?

ELIZABETH: Every day.

ADAMUS: Every day. That's … (laughter) Moderated. Any time the sun is shining. Very moderate.

So it's landing on their minds, driving them crazy. Then from the mind it goes into the body, because the body has been trained to follow the mind. Then they start having some physical ailments and things going wrong with their bodies.

But actually, for most people, most humans, this tremendous amount of energy coming in is actually lighting up their aspects … their aspects. Eh? So they're trying to avoid all of this. They're pretending it's not there. The aspects are going, “Look at all that energy. Look at all that potential for chaos. Look at all that potential for creating some sort of mass confusion. Look at all that potential for getting the attention that we always wanted to get.” So the aspects are busy.

Oh, anybody dealing in Aspectology should be doing a land office business right now – people lined up at the doors – but you see, the aspects aren't going to make their way there, and the human doesn't know what's going on. True.

So you have this incredible internalization coming in at the mind, coming in at the aspect level, people wondering what's gong on. Getting a little bizarre right now, getting a little extreme, so what happens next? You're all good prophets here, yes, and you're not psychic. You don't have to be psychic to understand what's going to be next. You internalize it all and, On?

GARRET: It has to come out!

ADAMUS: It blows up. It's going to be a long hot summer. I kid you not. (someone shouts “Yay!”) I kid you not. Yeah. (Adamus chuckles) It's going to be a crazy summer in a lot of ways. What's happening right now is so much of these things are happening on an individual personal basis, people trying to feel their way through it. They don't even know how to talk about it, so they're not really discussing it.

But once a few start blowing up, and once a few organizations start designing themselves into this energy, in other words, they start coming up with the answers, the way – oh, my dear friends, I'm going to pause here for a moment to opinionate. I don't do that very often. (laughter)

Humans … an individual human is the grandest thing in all of creation. A human being is the greatest of any beings anywhere, and I've traveled around a little bit. I've gone to different dimensions. I've seen different parts of creation that are absolutely amazing, and I've never met, never encountered – never even had a close encounter – with a being as grand as a human being.

And I say that, but; humans beings are wonderful until they get in an organization. (laughter) Any organization – a company, a church, a benevolent foundation – I don't care what it is. What is it about humans? Wonderful individually, but the moment they organize, you have control issues, power issues, hierarchal issues. This is where the sexual energy virus comes in. It loves organizations. Ev- … you can't stop me Cauldre. It could potentially even affect this organization of wonderful beings, but it probably won't. (Adamus chuckles)

Once humans organize it brings out sometimes the very worst of them. Why is that? Why is that dynamic like that? (someone answers) Pardon?

LARA: It's not meant to be organized.

ADAMUS: Not meant to be organized. Bingo! You get an Adamus Award today. This cute cuddly … yes, yes. (he brings her a big stuffed pink bunny, audience responds “Aw” and applause) This cute cuddly little bear! Yes. Stand up for a moment here so everybody in the world can see. Yes. Cute, cuddly.

LARA: Thank you.

ADAMUS: Yes. Yes. You deserve it. Good. There's one more left. Be really sharp. Be really on your toes.

Absolutely. Ultimately, sovereignty is about loving, accepting and owning yourself. It is.

So organizations right now take away from that. They really do. Organizations generally don't want sovereignty. They don't want equal voice. They don't want a lot of individuals; they want conformity. They want rules. They want compliance. So here you have grand humans, but they organize in groups.

You know. You know. Within – well, not to mention your families – you know within your companies, within your political organizations.

So I digress, but I love doing it. So where were we?

Blow up! Hot summer, long hot summer, all these energies going on. Where are you going to be?

MARY ALYCE: At the beach.

ADAMUS: At the beach. That's exactly where you should be! Who said that? You've got the other one. (laughter as he gives her a big yellow stuffed chick) At the beach. Thank you.

Ah yes, so. Linda, is that all you brought today? (someone says “Eggs” referring to the other Easter decorations) Eggs? Eggs. We could pawn off some of the food. We can have Laughing Bear's plate and give that away.

LINDA: I have regular Adamus Awards.

ADAMUS: Adamus Awards. Nothing more coveted in all of creation than an Adamus Award – other than a furry friend. Yes. Good.

So where are you going to be this summer and this fall while all of this is going on? (someone says “Breathing”) Breathing. (someone says “Laughing”) Laughing at it. Understanding that it is absolutely appropriate. You don't have to do anything. You don't have to take on that responsibility for yourself. You don't have to save the world. You can actually just enjoy life. That's where you should be this summer – enjoying life, whatever that means. Committing to yourself, as we talked about last month. Committing to yourself, whatever that means. Giving yourself the gifts. Giving yourself the acceptance and the love that you so deserve.
　　

Four Issues

So, four things going on right now within you, within each and every one of you, and you can write these on the board in summary, dear Linda. You look particularly lovely today. Is it (audience agrees) – yeah! – anything special?

LINDA: No. I just bled on the jacket I was supposed to wear.

ADAMUS: Oh! Well, good. (some laughter) Martyrdom before the meeting begins is good.

LINDA: You know, day after Good Friday. What do you expect? (laughter)

ADAMUS: Four issues going on right now within you. Things you should be aware of. Things that you're probably going to go, “Aha! I knew that.” I told you, you already knew what I'm going to tell you, but you just didn't realize it. Four things going on.

First, and this is a big one. It may take a little while to realize how big this really is. But before I get into that, let me say, you all understand that your DNA is – chtt! chtt! chtt! – being remade, reconstructed. You're under construction. You're redoing your energy anchors, how you hold yourself in reality, how you make yourself be able to stand, to think, to remember, to go through the motions. You're redoing all those.

You're redoing the amount, the levels of light and energy that you can bring into your reality. Even though some days it makes it really intense and you try to shut it off, you really can't. There's tremendous amount of this light and energy.
　　

1. Mental/Creative Integration

So here's now what's happening right now. It could change next month, but right now here's kind of what's happening.

First and foremost, you've been primarily a mental being. Most of the time you function through the mind with mental thoughts. Analyzing things, judging them, putting them into nice neat little mental compartments. About 96% of the time you're using the mental aspect of yourself in your everyday environment. Four percent goes to creative, and that's quite an improvement, because just a few years ago it was about 1%.

Now, it's taking a leap, a very fast leap, to where instead of having the left brain/right brain scenario, instead of switching mental to creative, now they're starting to merge together.

Imagine it this way. Imagine a sink in a kitchen or a bathroom – an older sink – and it has a faucet for cold water over here, and a faucet for hot water over there. And you'd have to turn them both on or just one or the other and try to mix them up. Or just use one, because it got annoying. It's scalding on one side, freezing on the other. That's a good analogy for the mental and creative – mental and creative integration (to Linda).

Now imagine that's together in the same faucet, like most of you, you use every day. You turn on the water. You get a certain amount of pressure, and you can adjust the temperature depending on whether you're washing your hands, cleaning pots and pans or needing a cold splash on you.

This is significant, and I'm not saying that it's 50-50 right now, but the ability to meld these together so it's not just mental and then creative, and then mental, and then mental, and then mental, and then a little creative. They're coming together. So you have now a combined consciousness within yourself that is creative and mental.

Sounds wonderful, doesn't it? Do you want more? (audience says “Yes”) Ehh, you say that, but then the changes come about. Then suddenly you're saying to yourself, “Why doesn't it work like it used to?” Cold faucet, hot faucet, now a single faucet – it's going to feel different for a while.

It will affect your dreams, because a lot of the times the dreams were much more literal, much more mental, and now you're getting more creative juice in the dreams.

It's going to affect your thought process, particularly for resolution – problem resolution – because most of the time you're applying a mental energy on something that should have been creative.

You've got a problem, something doesn't work, you have technical issues here – as they experienced in setting up my new theatre, the technical issues – typically the mind would click in and say, “We have this problem. Let's run through all the scenarios. Let's analyze what's wrong.” That actually should have been the time you should have been using mostly creative. Really! Mostly creative. Any time there's a problem, bring in creativity. You will have resolution.

Creative is the thing that finds answers. Mental executes what the creative finds, at least up until now.

So you're having this interesting new melding of creative and mental. It's going to throw your mind off. It really will. It will change the way that you handle life problems, situations at work, figuring out your taxes. When you go to buy something at the store that has to be assembled, before you'd take it out of the package and you look at it – and you call somebody else to put it together for you. Or you got very mental about it instead of bring up the creative.

So now you're merging it together. You've already done it. It's already been implemented. But now if you realize it, if your mind understands it, you can relax a little bit more, because it changes the way you approach situations, problems.

Also, with this new integration of creative and mental, it will add color, depth, dimension to everything that you do. Great time, as I mentioned before, to initiate a project, a business. See, a lot of you have tried businesses before. You've been very mental about it. You had to figure it out before you did it. Just like you as a human trying to figure it out, trying to get to know yourself. It's actually a creative process.

Creative is more difficult to the mind – actually, ultimately, much easier – more difficult to the mind, because it likes to figure things out. It likes to know where the booby traps are. It likes to know what the various scenarios are. That's the mind at work trying to figure it out, and that's why most of you haven't done those things that are really your passion, because you tried to figure it out in advance. You tried to think it out.

Creative is … you can imagine it as a very free-flowing energy, very expansive. Creative would be like – let's imagine for a moment – a colorful liquid that can change colors at any point, that changes from its state of being a liquid into a gas instantly, and then back to a liquid or anything it wants to be. It can flow uphill, downhill. It really doesn't matter. Whereas the mental is very linear, very defined, serves a great purpose. wonderful purpose. It keeps you here, for one thing.

So now it's difficult, because in the creative, it doesn't follow old patterns. It requires that you trust yourself – the ahmyo, the trusting yourself. So you could say in this first scenario, the mental and the creative integration right now. It's a beautiful thing. Never been done before by a large number of people. A lot of individuals have done it.

You notice that we didn't have a big textbook. You didn't have to go to a lot of classes. You didn't have to study it, because that would have kind of defeated the purpose. But it's happening. It's happening. It's here.

So let's take a deep breath with that.

(pause)

Let's take a deep breath with that.

The integration. It's going to cause some changes in the way you handle things. It's going to cause some changes even in your level of passion, but all for what you would call the good.

You're in a very creative process here right now on the spiritual path. You left the mental spiritual path a while back. Now you're in the creative spiritual path. That's why we try to simplify things. Try to distill them. Getting away from the mental.

A lot of people still need that mental-spiritual path – study the rituals, study the disciplines, study the Masters. You're out of that – creative spiritual enlightenment. That's number one.
　　

2. Disintegration of Emotional Self

Number two. A big part of the self that you've been trying to get to know over the years, a big part of that self was your emotional self, your emotional self, and right now it is dissolving. It is disintegrating. It is falling apart. Good? Good, yes. Yes, absolutely.

What's happening is, particularly as the creative-mental merge, there is not really room at the inn any more for the emotional self, the little bratty child. (Adamus chuckles) Yeah. That little thing – well, it's actually a big thing – that would call out and interrupt you so often. You know, the emotion comes from the mind, absolutely 100% mental. It's the mind's bad imitation of real soul feelings.

So mind made this up – it was kind of jealous that it didn't have real feelings – so it made up emotions. They're immature. They're unrealistic. They're demanding. They're selfish without being self-full.

The emotions could never get enough. They were energy feeders. They fed off of the real you. They fed off other people. That caused little tantrums. It caused anger. It caused you to look at things from very immature eyes.

So right now the emotional self is disintegrating.

KATHLEEN: Woo hoo! (Adamus chuckles and audience laughter)

ADAMUS: Would you come here and do that? Let me say it again. And right now the emotional self is disintegrating.

KATHLEEN: Woo hoo! (Adamus chuckles, more laughter and applause) That's the good news; now the bad.

So what happens? What happens with the way you feel about yourself when that emotional self is disintegrating? What happens? I'm going to turn this over to Aandrah, if you would give her the microphone.

What happens? You've seen it in many of the ones that you work with – and go ahead and stand up here – when the emotional self starts disintegrating.

AANDRAH: It has screaming fits.

ADAMUS: Absolutely, it has screaming fits. Yes. You don't have to tell me that, you tell them that. (laughter as he motions to the audience)

AANDRAH: (to audience) Screaming fits.

ADAMUS: Screaming fits. Screaming fits, because it's used to getting its way. It's used to playing you very, very well, like a fiddle. It's used to being the way you would inadvertently, maybe unconsciously, steal energy. That's the way that a lot of times you even felt alive, when that little emotional brat came out and started commanding and demanding, overriding the spiritual you.

It's withering away right now. It has no place, and of course, as that happens, it's going to scream out. It's going to give you fits of anger, fits of weird little things, emotions that you thought you had controlled a long time ago – jealousy, others having more. It's going to have a little way of screaming out about “Why am I not getting more money, more attention? How come they didn't say something nice about me?” Weird little things, and part of you is thinking, “Well, that's so weird. Why am I thinking that? I thought I was beyond that.”

Well, right now that emotional self is rebelling. It's kind of like … thank you (to Linda, who handed him a drink). It's kind of like the bad witch in Wizard of Oz when the water was thrown on her. Screaming, screaming, “Help…”

KATHLEEN: I'm melting! I'm melting!

ADAMUS: Come on up here and do that. (laughter) It's kind of like the bad witch in the Wizard of Oz screaming out …

KATHLEEN: I'm melting! I'm melting.

ADAMUS: (chuckles) Thank you. Thank you. You do it so much better. Would you like to channel up here some day? (Adamus chuckles) So yes. She said yes. You all heard it. The cameras saw it. The camera's looking at you right now. Watch it, watch it wave and wink at you. (lots of laughter as the camera moves back and forth) Oh yeah! And there's four of them now.

So, absolutely, it's melting. It's melting. It's going away.

A couple of things happen here. It's desperately seeking to try to maintain its position. It's going to threaten you. It's going to do all sorts of strange things. It's going to come out at night in your dreams. It's going to show up in the most inappropriate moments. It's going to battle you. Don't worry about it. You take a deep breath and say, “Die, you witch!” (lots of laughter) “That's it! Goodbye! I threw water; you go away. I'm growing up or growing in; you're going bye-bye forever. No más ("No more" in Spanish).”

So, dear Shaumbra, but a few things happen when the emotional self goes away. It's been like a bad friend, but a friend that was always there, and part of you starts to long [for] that kind of dysfunctional interaction that you constantly had with it. So there's going to be a little bit of you that yearns to get just a bit of that back. Watch who you pick for friends during this time period, because they'll be interesting quasi-replacements for this emotional self that's going away.

You could find also that suddenly you realize the emotional self had a strange way of sharing its meals with you – its energy feeding meals from other people. It would take a big plateful and give you a little bit of the plateful of energy that it had just taken from someone, but at least you got something. At least it gave you breakfast, in the scheme of things.

So now part of you is going to be energy deficient. Vitamins are not going to help. Smoothies are not going to be able to help in this. Part of you is going to be desperately seeking energy from somewhere else.

Stop. Stop right then and there. Take a deep breath. (Adamus takes a deep breath) Take a deep breath and that's when you say, “I Am that I Am. I'm my own refrigerator. (laughter) It's all within me. I'm the cook. I can create that. I don't need to go anywhere else.”

There is energy coming in from everywhere. Everywhere. There's an overabundance. We have an over energy supply on Earth right now – cosmic energy, that is – so much of it that it's affecting people. But when you feel that need to feed, you take a deep breath – it's right here (within). It's right here, and it's coming in from free sources – cosmos, your divine, every part of you – so you take a deep breath and feel it.

So, my dear friends, you're going to hear some hollering and screaming from this emotional self. What's going to happen to it? What's going to happen to it? Because I know some of you are really concerned that you're doing it harm. You want to nurture it. You want to bring it back and say, “I'm so sorry for being such a spiritual schmuck. I'm sorry that I was trying to get rid of you.” What's happening?

SHAUMBRA 1 (woman): It's going to transmute, right?

ADAMUS: Transmute. Absolutely. That's all it's going to do. It's been trapped in little baby. It's been trapped in immature teenager, and now it's going to transmute into I Am. I Am.

So let's take a deep breath with that.
　　

3. Time

Another factor – important factor – number three: time. Now, you already know this. Time is really … first of all, time is essentially an illusion. It's a real illusion. Time tends to be mental, so as the creative and the mental are merging, the concept of time, which you are deeply anchored into – what time is it Bonnie?

BONNIE: I have to look.

ADAMUS: Good, good. She said “I have to look.” I'm glad she didn't know off the top of her head.

The concept of time changes, and you start to realize how flexible it actually is. You start to realize that it's an energetic tool. But you also start realizing how much of a prison it's been for you.

As time shifts, you will realize that it can go backwards and forwards and sideways, and as fun as that sounds – to be able to go back in time … and I'm not talking linear time; I'm talking about experiential time. There's a bit of a difference. I'll explain.

So linear time is your clock. Linear time calculated on the movements of the sun and the stars and all the rest of that. It's how most people base their days. Experiential time is the sequence of events that have taken place, the wisdom that has been gained from those experiences, and the evolution or the unveiling of the next set of grand potentials. That's my definition of time outside of the watch that you wear.

You suddenly start realizing that time is very malleable. You can go back in time. Not to 1823 type of time, although you probably could, but you don't want to. It wasn't a very good year. But you can go back through experiential time. You can go back through the sequence of events and the perception of those events, the wisdom that was distilled from those events. You can go back any time.

And when you do, you'll have an interesting revelation that, you'll say, “Well, this is strange. This is like all brand new. Even though I've gone back in time, it feels like it's the future,” because, in a strange way, it kind of is. Let me explain.

As you expand your consciousness – and that's where sometimes words are so limited – don't think of expansion as … would you hold that swill? (handing his cup to Linda)

LINDA: My pleasure.

ADAMUS: Don't think of expansion as going like this – outer (reaching out). Expansion, in a very strange way is actually like this (moving his hands together). Now, the mind says, “Well, no. That's collapsing.” No, it's distilling. So when you expand your consciousness, you're actually clarifying it, simplifying it, distilling it.

So when you go back in time, experiential time, which you can do any time that you want, suddenly you realize this is brand new. You're going to say, “I thought Adamus said we could go back in time. I'm in the future.” Are you really? Is this room really new today? Hah.

You can go back, and that experience that was suddenly changes – everything about it – so that it seems new. It's not what it was before. Why? Because you're visiting it now with new consciousness, with a new set of eyes. All a complex way of distracting you for a moment to say that time is changing; experiential time, but it will also affect your linear clock time. That's a good thing. Is it? What are the downfalls? Always needing to ask somebody what time it is, yes.

What are the … (Sart says “Get a watch!”) Get a watch, yeah. What are the challenges when you're released from the restrictions of time? You're always late for appointments. Yes. Yes.

GARRET: Or you're always early.

ADAMUS: You're always early for appointments, yes.

What happens is you feel very unsettled about things. You've been used to calculating your movements, your mental processes throughout the day based on time. Even your hunger in the morning, your tiredness in the afternoon, your relaxing at night – whatever it happens to be – were all set forth in this whole scheme of time.

When that time starts shifting, or ultimately going away, it's going to make you feel kind of strange, and when you do, what are you going to do? (some say “Breathe”) No, I said what are you going to do. That's what I would do. You're going to try to go back! You're going to say, “Oh, I can't handle this. This is a little overwhelming. My god, what a terrible day and I'm afraid to go to sleep at night, so I'm going to go backwards. I want to go back to, well, I'm going to go read some Tobias stuff, because that'll really bring me back in time.” (laughter) “He was really nice and he kept his eyes shut.” (more laughter)

LINDA: What is number three?

ADAMUS: Oh, three is time.

LINDA: Time. Time nothing? Time changing? Time …

ADAMUS: Just time in general.

LINDA: Okay.

ADAMUS: So it all changes, then you get to feeling uncomfortable. Your body, even, is trying to adjust to new time/no time. And then it's going to hurt, because your body is used to the way you've trained it feel. You've trained it to sleep at certain times, eat at certain times, do the other body things you do at certain time, so it's going to feel very uncomfortable. Your mind is going to go crazy. Your mind is going to go crazy, especially for Virgos (Adamus chuckles), because it's not going to be so predictable anymore. It's not going to be so predictable.

What do you do? Yes, you take a deep breath. You take a deep breath. That's where you trust yourself. That's where you let yourself be grounded but expansive. Where you let yourself distill it down to the basics. Where you stop asking, “What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me?”

First of all, when you ask “What's wrong with me,” which so many of you do – maybe not those exact words, but different terminology, What's wrong with me?” – unfortunately, you're going to get the answer! You're going to get a long list from all the aspects, from the universe, from everywhere. “Oh! She wants to know what's wrong with her. We'll tell her!” Don't ask that question anymore.

So you say, “I Am that I Am. Buzz off! I Am that I Am.” Don't ask that old question anymore. And don't ask, “Who am I?” Oh my, that's such a bad question to ask. (Adamus chuckles)

So the fourth element of energetic things that you're gong through. Yes, Laughing Bear?

LAUGHING BEAR: Can I use that as a bumper sticker – “I Am that I Am. Buzz off?” (laughter)

ADAMUS: Yeah. I'd be a little caution about where you drove after that. Don't go to Boulder. (laughter) And don't go to Texas. (Adamus chuckles)

LAUGHING BEAR: How about South Carolina?

ADAMUS: Absolutely. It's all yours. That's all yours, and thank you for asking.
　　

4. Multi-Stages

So the fourth quality of things that you're going through right now, and stick with me on this one. You've got this new stage up here. Beautiful, yes. Very expensive. Very expensive, all of this. This didn't come free. So step up, empty your pockets out before you leave today. (laughter) Cauldre would have loved to have said that, but I could. I'm not kidding!

So, anyway, dear Shaumbra. You've got this great new stage. This is one, let's call it, perception, dimension. I'm the other. I'm walking back and forth here and I'm … what am I doing today, dear Linda?

LINDA: Pontificating.

ADAMUS: Pontificating, am I? Provoking?

LINDA: No! It was a joke.

ADAMUS: Provoking, maybe.

LINDA: Stimulating.

ADMAUS: Distracting!

LINDA: Ohhhh.

ADAMUS: That is my gift. I'm a great distracter.

EDITH: Yes, indeed.

ADAMUS: Yes, indeed. Yes, and I distract because sometimes we just need it, sometimes to get out of that mental energy, a little distraction. While I'm distracting, the true energies that you've called for then can come in, because otherwise you're thinking about them too much, and they're kind of blocked. But a little distraction – swfft! – you get an injection of yourself. What a great thing.

So, we've got the stage up there, beautiful stage. You want to see me go multidimensional right in front of your eyes? (audience says “Yes!”) Put one of those cameras right on me. (The television screen behind Adamus suddenly shows repeating images of him into infinity.) Amazing! (audiences laughs and says “Woo!”) Amazing! And they said it couldn't be done!

Next, do you want to see me walk on water? (audience says “Yes!”)

LINDA: No!

ADAMUS: Yes.

LINDA: No! No, damn it!

ADAMUS: Walk on water! (he pours some water on the floor, then walks on it; audience laughter and applause) And they said it couldn't be done! (lots of laughter) Thank you.

LINDA: I told you no.

ADAMUS: A distraction! A temporary distraction, a little infusion of yourself. Any other tricks up my sleeves? (laughter)

So, what's happening is there is the stage, there's me. And it's interesting that that's what you perceive, but often separate. You're watching my movements through Cauldre, generally unaware of the stage. You're focused on just that thing.

Interesting. While I'm up here talking, there are also many other stages all around. The stages of life, stages of where you go to play out your experiences, dream stages, and they're all, they're really right here. And it's not just me moving around up here. There's some friends with me today that are moving around.

The point is that you're going to go multi-stage. In other words, you're going to start perceiving the different tiers and different levels of reality around you. It's not going to be singular. The mind has tended to separate things. It likes compartments. It likes what it thinks is everything in nice orderly fashion. But the creative, now coming in, is going to shift that, so it'll be multi-staged. That's a good thing, right? But what are the challenges? What are the challenges? David?

DAVID: Disorientation.

ADAMUS: Disorientation, absolutely. You like it nice and simple or nice – not simple, actually; you like it complex – but you like it nice and clear. You like it singularly complex. In other words, a single dimension, but you try to then make it very complex. You're moving into a state of being that you're going to perceive many of the dimensions around you, and it's going to be disorienting physically and mentally. It can be terrifying at times.

Some of you have had experiences in the last few weeks of feeling like you're just going to go out of your body. And then what do you do? You grasp. You try to get back in. You do breathing. You stamp on your feet. You do anything. It frightens you. Understandably, because what happens when you slip beyond? But give yourself permission to do it, just in a nice gentle way. There's so much more out there.

And the creative loves it. The creative understands it. The creative bathes in it. It – not feeds off of it – but it makes the creative alive to be multidimensional, to realize there are many stages right here. There are many realities that are happening all at the same time.

Try this. If you're ever getting that feeling, that wobbly feeling that suddenly reality is shifting, the typical reaction is to get your eyes wide open real big, because the eyes are the thing that, probably more than anything other than your mind, anchor you in reality. But your eyes are also the biggest deceivers of reality. Biggest deceivers.

Close your eyes. Close your eyes and feel the dimensions around. The mind is saying, “Well, but if it can't be seen with the eyes, then it doesn't exist.” Ah! Ah, such a lie. Such a grand lie. So you close your eyes, the creative comes forth. It comes up into the third eye area. It will make a very beautiful connection with the mind, so the mind can start comprehending the multi-stages without trying to control them.

At this point, with the eyes closed, energies focused in the third eye region, now the creative is commanding the energies in a loving way. Not like the mind used to command, but the creative is bringing forth these energies. It won't let the mind take control of it. So therefore, you can bring it on. You can bring it on.

So those are my four … multi-stages would be number four.

LINDA: Multi-stages?

ADAMUS: Multi-stages. Stages. Theaters. The realities. The dimensions. Multi-stage. Multi-stage, you're moving into that.

So I bring up these four things to help you understand where you're at, what you're going through right now, because sometimes I know you worry. Sometimes I know you're wondering if you are doing it right, what the prescription is. It's all working out. You just happen to be going through a tremendous number of different things right now, more so than you've ever going through in a single time.

So let's take a deep breath with that … and I'll cover more in our future meetings, different things that are happening.

Now I'd like to kind of get to the point before we take questions and answers. (Linda giggles)
　　

The Guru Dilemma

And the other point, perhaps the fifth, but I don't want to put it … it deserves its own piece of paper. It deserves its own thing, because it's another evolution you're going through. It's actually a dilemma. It's a dilemma. It is what I call the guru dilemma. What does that mean?

It means that here you are, beings that are becoming enlightened and allowing that to come into your everyday life; spiritual beings on a spiritual path; generally getting over the whole concept of having to get to know yourself so you can finally be yourself, you see.

LINDA: Two m's?

ADAMUS: Dilemma. Two m's.

And you have a certain archetypical concept of this thing called enlightenment and guru, and it's very distracting, because you put this as the standard or the example, the shining light in your path and say, “I have to be like that. I have to be – in order to be my spiritual self – I have to do as the gurus did.”

Just like we talked about before, dismantling this whole concept of getting to know yourself, it's also time to dismantle the whole concept of the guru that you're aspiring to be.

Let me give you a few examples, and as I do, think of what your guru dilemma has been. What did you think, in the human mind, that you had to be like? Because I'll tell you right now, it's not really what you need to be like.

Yeshua, Jesus, since we're right in the middle of his celebration. Just think of the energy of Jesus for a moment, the ones that you were taught when you were younger. Calm, peaceful, healing, walking on water, as I proved today anyone can do, halo above the head, long hair, beard, yes. Sandals, robe. Yes, absolutely. Sheep, little sheep. (laughter) My dear friends, as humorous as it might be, this is the image that you had.

Now, the real Yeshua? The most impatient human I had ever met! Absolutely, totally impatient, had no patience for stupidity, for rules, hated organizations, didn't like time, didn't like dawdlers. Why? Because underneath, even though he was not a souled being, he brought in so many of the aspects or the energies of you. And impatient – “Let's get on with this!”

He was known to brawl. Boom! Punch right in the face. Down on the ground brawling. This isn't in the Bible, is it? It wouldn't do them very good, you know, they thought, to put this in. He liked to eat a lot. He got a little pudgy later on. He got a little hm (Adamus gestures “large”) thing going.

He was known to cuss and swear. There were a lot of people that were afraid of him. He was a rebel, a revolutionary and he was intolerant. (Adamus chuckles) A loving being, totally compassion, but absolutely impatient. That's not the nice portrait picture that you have of him, but this is what many aspire to be. “I have to be … what would Jesus say?” Jesus would say, “Get the fuck out of my way!” (lots of laughter and applause) Sorry. I apologize for being so irreverent, but it is …

LINDA: No you don't!

ADAMUS: It is true! It's like “Move aside, we've got work to do. We're here to seed this Earth with the Christ consciousness, the Christos, the crystal consciousness, for a new age that's coming about. Move on with it! Move on! Get off to some other planet, go someplace else, because this is a place where we're growing and expanding.”

So he was quite a revolutionary. And no, they didn't write about that, because then what would happen? Everybody would try to be a revolutionary, the organizations, which I don't like, couldn't handle that.

Think about dear Buddha for a moment. Dear Buddha. I was talking to him the other day, as a matter of fact. Not to drop names or anything, but … (laughter) “Buddha,” I said, “Buddha, we've got work to do.”

Buddha was neurotic, phobic. He had phobias, a lot of phobias. There were certain types of insects and bugs he was just deathly afraid of. He was neurotic. He was always having to clean his hands and his feet all the time.

He was very selfish, in the bad meaning of the word selfish. He stole energy from everybody. “Oh, here comes Buddha. Get out of the way. He's going to try to steal energy.” And he could never settle into anything. He had chosen a nice rich family to be born into; he couldn't settle into that.

He had demons going after him all the time. He was perhaps what you would call a multiple personality, flipping back and forth, as a lot of the neurotic people do – one minute holy man, next minute total jerk. And he would be offended if there were certain things you were wearing or certain odors coming from your body. So he was very difficult to get along with it.

Later on he chilled. He relaxed a little bit. He had this neurotic obsession for enlightenment and just starved himself to death to get it. Actually, he starved because he was phobic about a lot foods. He just wouldn't eat them. If anybody even looked at a food that he was going to eat, he couldn't eat it.

Finally he relaxed. He gave up trying to find himself, trying to get to know himself. He relaxed. That's when he started eating. He gained some weight and he finally had the enlightenment that he had always wanted. He melded with himself.

So, guru? Is that the picture that was painted? Is that what you see when you go to the sacred temples? No, you see the very peaceful Buddha. But he wasn't.

And – not that this next one is an Ascended Master, but he's an interesting study – Steve Jobs. Steve Jobs, somebody from your era – brilliant, driven, totally insecure. Absolutely insecure. One minute very obsessed about the project he was working on, and the real project actually was technology tools to expand consciousness, interconnectivity to share, to actually expand the consciousness of humanity. That was kind of implanted in him. Brilliant ideas.

He was a visionary who had this mental/creative melding a long time ago, but totally insecure. Always questioning. It got tiring after a while. “Am I doing the right thing? Am I going the right way? Should I have done it this way or that way?” Wasted a lot of energy doubting, worrying all the time.

So, dear friends, ah, here's another one I just happened to be taking a walk with the other day – St. John the Baptist. Crazy man. (laughter) He was a lunatic!

Another good example of a multiple personality; one minute screaming and yelling to get the demons out of people, pushing their heads under water. He used to drown people. It wasn't baptism! It was called murder! (laughter) Later they change it and said he was baptizing. It's like, “No, he's trying to kill the bastard!” (more laughter)

And the next minute very pious, reverent, asking God for forgiveness. Well, I would have too if I had done all that bad stuff. Down on his knees.

He was a mad man! His hair was a mess. His beard – filled with food from years ago. He didn't bathe himself. He and Buddha would have never gotten along. (laughter) They would have had a hard time together.

So let's bring this to the point so we can get to questions and answers.

The guru dilemma, your dilemma: who do you aspire to be like – any of them? (audience says “No”) Or yes. Or yes. In other words, they had human characteristics because they're here on Earth as humans. They have what you would call flaws, but they're actually not, they're just idiosyncrasies. And so do you. You've been trying to get to know yourself and perfect yourself, make yourself just this pure, holier-than-thou human. They didn't do it. Why should you? They had disturbances! Issues! Challenges!

What eventually caused them to be Ascended Masters? (audiences members say “Acceptance,” “They let go.”) Acceptance, let go. Everybody should get an award. I don't know if Linda brought enough. But they let go.

They let go of this need to try to define themselves, to find themselves, to know themselves, to improve and perfect themselves. They came to a point of exhaustion – anybody feel a little connected to that? – a point of exhaustion, of saying, “This search, this desperate search, is exhausting. I'm just going to give up. To hell with this whole spiritual path and all of its books and all of its workshops and all of its accoutrements and everything else – to hell with that! I'm done! I'm done!”

In that moment of acceptance, then it came together. Then they had a good laugh, every one of them. And then it didn't matter. It didn't matter that they weren't perfect, because they were never going to be. It mattered that they accepted. It mattered that they loved themselves, quirks and all. Bad bank accounts, overweight, stupid little tics or strange things you do, your bad temper, your impatience, your lack of real … no, your lack of – Cauldre messed up my timing – your lack of real understanding of the spiritual being that you are. You get over all that. You go into a place of acceptance.

You could say it's surrender, but it's only surrendering to you. It's not surrendering to anyone else or anything else. It's not surrendering to the guy that's on the cross – too bad that they put him there – it's surrendering to you.

So let's take a deep breath with that.

Whatever you think is flawed, imperfect, whatever you think are the things you have to work on, forget about it. (someone says “Yay”) Yes. Yes. (audience approval and applause)

And then, suddenly, you're just being. You're not trying to perfect anything. You're not trying to find yourself. Now you're just being. In that, the creative energies that we talked about earlier rush in now. “Good! This person's no longer just trying to figure it out. They're just doing it.”

The creative energies rush in. The mind can slow down. The need to try to make things right or perfect or in some sort of delusional ideals of old gurus goes out the window. That's when you can sit here today and say, “I am the Master. I don't care what they say, I am the Master. I am the Master.” (audience says “I am the Master”) It's that simple. That simple.

But then the mind jumps in, and it will by the time you leave this parking lot, and say, “Well, if you're the Master, then you can walk on water also.” (laughter)

SART: Piece of cake.

ADAMUS: Piece of cake. Piece of cake. So don't get caught in all of those things that the Masters would have done, because it's all a bunch of stories. The Masters finally loved themselves.

So with that distraction, we'll go into questions. So, dear Linda, microphone.

LINDA: By the way, you didn't happen to comment on the handsome outfit that Cauldre put together for you today. Come on, he did a nice job.

ADAMUS: (rolling his eyes) I would be wearing all purple, it would be a long cape and it would be tall boots and an elegant hat. He looks like a businessman. Yes.
　　

Questions and Answers

So questions. Speak loudly so the world can hear you.

CATALINA: Okay. Hi.

ADAMUS: Yes.

CATALINA: Okay. Adamus … (she's close to tears)

ADAMUS: Deep breath. I'm right with you. You want to know …

CATALINA: Yes I do.

ADAMUS: … what happened.

CATALINA: Mm hmm.

ADAMUS: Sansan?

CATALINA: Yes. (Referring to Sansan Sheng, a Shaumbra woman who transitioned unexpectedly while on Kauai for the recent Advanced Sexual Energies School.)

ADAMUS: Good. Good. Excellent question. Now, I will preface that by saying, I am so sorry for the perception that humans have about death. It is easier than birth. It is a release. It is such a moment of release that it causes this – what we talked about it in DreamWalker Death – like a type of orgasm leaving the body, being back to yourself. It's an amazing thing.

And I know humans get very emotional. They grieve over death, particularly when a dear friend, a loved one, a wife, a teacher is no longer with you. But that is an illusion. That is an absolute illusion. For anyone here to think that Sansan is not here causes her a bit of grief. Don't you think that she's been with you all day? Absolutely. Don't you think that she's closer to you than I am?

And if I could be so bold sir as to say (speaking to her husband), she's saying, “Richard, when are you going to stop doubting? When are you going to stop doubting? I am here. I'm not here, but right here. And I will continue to be here, not because I feel sorry for you but because I have so much joy in being with you. We had an agreement before we ever came to Earth, an agreement of love and support, no matter the difficulties that came along, but an agreement to assist each other. “

She says that, “You, Richard, made it possible for me to be on my spiritual path. You made it possible for me to come to my enlightenment as I did, and now I'm going to be here for you. I'm going to be provoking you, along with Adamus. I'm going to be loving you. I'm going to be reminding you of who you are so you can have your enlightenment. Dear Richard, we came here together for enlightenment, not just for me, and together, sooner than you could know, we're going to have our enlightenment together. We're going to share the love we have for ourselves and then with each other. That was what we chose to do. There's nothing wrong. I didn't leave you, dear Richard. I didn't leave you. I just changed the way I look.”

RICHARD: Thank you.

ADAMUS: Good. Thank you. (audience applause) Ah, and, you know, there's such an interesting concept of death.

Now, sometimes it is true that the ones who you love do go beyond and out of contact, at least until the time you make your transition. But here we have Sansan – many lifetimes of spiritual dedication, searching, on her path. Enlightenment meant more to her than just about anything, other than her family. Enlightenment was what she was here for, and, as I just said, to share their enlightenment together in this time.

So she had an interesting experience in Kauai. Just take a look at the dynamic here. Feel into it.

Off to Kauai, the day before the gathering for Advanced Sexual Energies. It was perfect, because all of the energies were coming in. Everything was there. Sansan wanted to have some time to herself, finding that increasingly important to have time, as you all probably are, to be in self. Decided to go to one of the most beautiful places on the world, which is Na Pali Coast, Kauai, one of my favorite. It's visually beautiful. It's energetically absorbing. It is nurturing from the energies of Isis and from the indigenous that did so much to bring this island to life. It is the place where dear Sansan was birthed in her first lifetime on Earth. So she went back to this place.

In a beautiful moment that goes beyond words, suddenly it was like for her the skies opened, a feeling of absolute peace, a feeling of absolute acceptance, and suddenly a shift; a shift of herself into her enlightenment; an amazing shift out of human limitation, out of time, out of space, and out of body.

And it wasn't until later, by the way, that the physical – what you would call the accident – occurred. It wasn't an accident. It was a departure. It was a transition, and it was beautiful.

As I've talked about before, generally, in going through death, there will be no pain for you, because you leave first. The mind and the body continue operating, but the consciousness has left. No pain, no regret, no remorse. The only grieving is for the ones that are grieving back here.

It's a difficult topic to talk about, but one day … I'm hearing screaming, cheering, encouragement from the other realms – “Tell them it is not the end. It's a new beginning. Tell them there is no heaven or hell. There is yourself and a lot of friends. Tell them that” – they are saying, “tell them 'Open your eyes. Not your literal eyes, but open your senses. We are right here. We're not gone. We're right here, all the time.'”

Sansan chose not to stay in the physical body, and that's going to be a challenge for many of you when you come to your enlightenment. Enlightenment happens in the simplest moment. Not when you plan it. Not when you even think you've earned it. It just happens because you allow it.

You're going to come to a moment in that enlightenment, “Do I stay in the physical body or not?” Now, I know if we took a poll here right now, most every one of you would say, “Stay in the physical body,” because there's a lot of things you have to do, because no matter what you say you're still afraid of death, as beautiful as it is. I have to almost laugh, here being this close in your reality. It's wonderful, but it's rather harsh – very dense, very harsh, very limited. On the other side you imagine anything you want, but it's like a fantasy garden, if you've let a lot of your issues go, as most of you have. It's splendid.

So you come to that moment in enlightenment, which seems like an eternity of time – it happens in a second, but it seems like an eternity – you come to that moment, and it's very difficult to say “I'm going to stay in the physical body,” because it is harsh and it hurts and there's the aches and pains. And you could say it's not real. It's the illusion.

When you return to the other side, you realize so much more about the real self. You're going to come to that moment, every one of you, “Should I stay or should I leave?” There's no right or wrong answer. There's the difficulty of the ones you leave behind – your children, spouses, and yes, even your pets.

So what are you going to do? Only you can answer that question. Only you can answer that.

Sansan came here. You've been supporting her for a long time in her journey. Now she comes to support. So thank you.

　　

JOYCE (Sansan's friend): Do you know my question? (laughter and Adamus is chuckling)

ADAMUS: “John Edwards!” Go ahead and let everybody know your question.

JOYCE: We always go out together.

ADAMUS: Yes.

JOYCE: Go a lot. So she asked me before, “Do you want to go onto this trail. It's wonderful. It's like no, you know, it's like no man has been.” I said I would love to go, but I already, you know, decided to go to Taiwan. So I couldn't go. I always feel that if I go with her, it would not happen. (she starts to weep)

ADAMUS: No, no. You wouldn't have gone with her. It just wasn't going to happen. In other words, your human mind says, “I should have …” See, you feel guilty. Why? Why? You should feel blessed that you were a part of her experience.

And even if you had forced yourself to go, and said, if you had an intuitive feeling that something was going to happen, and you made yourself go, something would have happened where you couldn't go on that final leg. Why? Because it's what Sansan chose. It's what she wanted. So you can't take that burden on. Any of you, you can't do the “what ifs,” “I should have.” There was something else at play here, and that was her divine self.

A friend of yours, a dear friend of all of yours, a wife of yours, has their enlightenment; has their enlightenment, that's what happened; got what she always wanted, is at total peace with it. Total peace. And she only – she's really on my shoulder right now – only asking, “Please, please, please let them know how grand it is. Let them know now, as a Master, that she can come back energetically any time.”

Any time. She's going to show up as a bird, a dog. She's going to show up as a breeze in the wind. She can come back at any time, but now she's here really to support you. Not support like you need anything, but she's going to be standing by you.

You've both been on this long path of enlightenment, believe it or not, and you've been there for her. Now she's going to be here for you. Good. Thank you.

Death, a difficult subject to discuss; a lot of feelings, a lot of emotions. Your consciousness is going to change the perception of that into really, truly understanding that it's not a finality. It's not heaven and hell. It's not even a departure, if one chooses to still be around energetically, as Sansan is.

They are really wanting me to be very clear with you saying, “It's amazing. It's amazing.” So, good. Next question. Two more. Yes. Three more.

CATALINA: I know all this, you know.

ADAMUS: Yes.

CATALINA: And I can feel her presence. I know all this and …

ADAMUS: Do you trust yourself when you feel her presence?

CATALINA: Yes I do.

ADAMUS: Good.

CATALINA: I know she's here.

ADAMUS: Good. Okay. What is she saying or thinking or feeling?

CATALINA: Right now at this moment she said that she's fine.

ADAMUS: Yeah.

CATALINA: Yeah.

ADAMUS: Yeah.

CATALINA: And I know all this, it's just that my mind needs to know this.

ADAMUS: Yes. Yes. Your eyes want to see her. Your hands want to touch her. But it's really your heart that should feel her.

CATALINA: Yes.

ADAMUS: Yeah.

CATALINA: Now my question is, is that, I mean, Sansan and I always said that every time we go to attend a workshop or whatever, whenever we do something together, we always said that, you know, “Adamus is going to be with us every step of the way.” I think this is something I need to know. My mind needs to know about, where were you?!

ADAMUS: Oh, I had to back off. “Every step of the way,” I forgot to add, “Until that last step.” And there, Sansan did it by herself. Oh, it would have been rude for me – and who am I to be rude? It would have been rude for me to be there in that moment of enlightenment because it's so sublime, so personal. So, indeed, every step along the trail, every step along the way, until suddenly I had to stop. All of the beings that support you would have to stop at that moment. That's your incredibly beautiful personal time. You wouldn't want anybody else hanging around during that moment of enlightenment with everything transforming.

So I stood. I waited. And then suddenly, she was with me, and she could actually see me. And, of course, in this enlightenment, you kind of lose … the human senses become expanded. She could actually see me, and she said, “Adamus Saint-Germain, how handsome you are!” (lots of laughter) Strange but true. Why? I'll tell you why – and I say it is true – because she didn't see a human. She saw the, what you would say, the colors. She saw the essence, the richness, the simplicity, the spirit, the love. She saw the love I had for her, and therefore, in her perception, I was the most beautiful thing she'd seen in a long time. Yes. (laughter) Good.

Yes, so there is actually two moments where the angelic beings are not with you. They're real close by, but one is when you truly decide you're going to be sovereign. You let go of the spirit guides that have been with you for a long time, and it's what some of you call the dark night of the soul. But it's not a night. It lasts a couple of months. (laughter) That was a marketing term that they used. You know, “Just one night and you get through it.” It's a long time.

All the beings have to step away. You've gone through that, so now I can say I'll be with you every step of the way, up until the moment of your enlightenment. That – out of honor – I'm not going to be there or the others. You do that so personal.

In that moment of enlightenment, and again, Aandrah, you'll understand what happens. So you come to this moment of enlightenment, and it's just an acceptance. It's just saying, “Whatever. I Am that I Am.” Suddenly, all the aspects come back in. It's a time of very personal integration. Whoosh! Whoosh! Whoo, whoo, whoo! They all fly back in. They're so happy that you finally love yourself, that they come back home. They come streaming back in. So we kind of get out of the way and let the aspects come back in so that we don't get sucked in along with them. (laughter at Adamus' joke) We do it so that it can be the marriage or the union of you back into yourself. So nothing wrong there. Nothing wrong.

It would have been totally disrespectful and a lack of compassion for me to stop Sansan. First of all, I couldn't. She's stronger than me. But I couldn't have stopped her. I wouldn't have wanted to stop her. This was her choice, her journey. She has work to do now. Wonderful work to do, but that's what she chose.

LINDA: Last question.

ADAMUS: Last question.

　　

HELEN (Sansan's friend): This is not really a question, but just something I want to share with you. And about two days ago I did an oil painting of Sansan, and it's just absolutely beautiful and absolutely peaceful. And because it's oil, it's not dry, so I didn't bring it. But later on I'll share the picture and then I will give to Richard. But when you look at the painting, you can just know it for sure. Thank you.

ADAMUS: Yes. Good. And she's asking if you would please take a digital photograph of it and share it with others. Even perhaps on some of these websites – Crimson Circle website. They would love to see that.

HELEN: Yeah, and that painting is just absolutely, absolutely beautiful, and also is kind of purple red, so it's kind of crimson colors. So it was just absolutely beautiful.

ADAMUS: Excellent. And too, the painting is a way to … I don't have time to get off on a long discussion, but I'll keep it short.

The old masters, the masters that painted back in Europe hundreds and hundreds of years ago, they weren't just painters. They were energy workers. They would take a combination of paints and herbs and sometimes even ground-up crystals. They would combine them and they could paint life into a picture.

The art is almost lost now. Very few artists know how to do that, but they could create a painting that the energies would endure for hundreds or thousands of years so that when you stood before the Mona Lisa or some of the other paintings of the master, it did something to you. You can almost measure the energy coming out of it.

And the sinister side, they also knew how to paint somebody's soul – not really their soul, but their essence – into a painting. Trap them there. It's a type of black magic. They could paint your portrait in a nasty way, and now you're trapped in that picture. But we're not going to go there.

Your painting allows the energy of Sansan to come through. Her inspiration, her laughter was painted in there. Her joy for adventure is in there. So she says to share that, because the energies come out through there. Absolutely. It's kind of like a way for her to continue to be and share with you. Don't cry. Don't be sad. Don't doubt either. Yes.

So with that, I believe we have one more question here.

　　

ALAYA: I don't understand.

ADAMUS: Yes. Good. Let's just leave it at that. (laughter) Thank you. Thank you.

ALAYA: Finally, I don't understand.

ADAMUS: Great way to sum up the day.

ALAYA: I don't understand, and that's a good place to be.

ADAMUS: Yes. What would you like to understand?

ALAYA: I didn't know Sansan, but I feel her.

ADAMUS: Yes! Indeed! I'm mean, she's like right here! Dancing around. Yeah, she's playing with people's hair over here. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I don't know why I have to share this, but for some reason she's kind of interested today in people's cosmetics for some reason. She wants to make everybody up. Go ahead.

ALAYA: She went on a journey to Kauai to be at the Sexual Energy School, and she invited her friend to go on a journey, on a walk, and she went on the walk. Did she know, weeks before, that she was going to transition?

ADAMUS: Ah! Good question

ALAYA: I mean, I want to know for me, because it's like, do I know a couple of weeks beforehand? Do I plan …

ADAMUS: Do you want to? (she hesitates) No, you don't. (Adamus chuckles)

ALAYA: But it was an accident. It wasn't like a long-term illness.

ADAMUS: No.

ALAYA: And it just happened.

ADAMUS: Yes. Yes and no. Now, it depends. Are you coming from a human perspective? The human mind saying … now if the human mind knew what was going to go on, it would have never happened. The human mind would have tried to block it.

There was the spirit, the real, the essence of Sansan really understood that … Let me put it this way. Did she know the particular date, time, location? No, absolutely not. Did she know the experience was coming her way? Absolutely. There's an inner knowingness here (heart), not a knowingness up here (head), and we're going to work on that in the next couple of months, getting those a little closer together. But there was an inner knowingness that it was time, not time to depart, but time to become, actually.

An inner knowingness that, “You know, this journey …” I'm trying to keep this simple here.

In our schools, we talk about that line right there. Can you get that line right there on the carpet? (to cameraman) Okay, right there. And we talk. You're at this line, all of you. You're standing there and you're thinking about it. And we go into great detail, actually, as we did in Kauai, with why aren't you taking that step? Why aren't you?

ALAYA: I want to be here. I want to be in this physical body.

ADAMUS: Who said that you couldn't be?

ALAYA: I am.

ADAMUS: So you cross the line and a lot of things happen. It's the line of enlightenment. It is a breath and a choice. That's all.

But … but, my dear friends, you're all standing here, waiting. Waiting for somebody like Sansan to cross, waiting for somebody like her to reassure you. It's amazing. It's wonderful. But you're standing here. “Ah, enlightenment. I don't know. You know, what's on the other side?” Enlightenment! (laughter) “What's going to happen to me?” It doesn't matter! “What am I going to do?” Enlightened things. We have tea with the Masters.

LINDA: That's a whole school. That's a whole school!

ADAMUS: So, my dear friends, the only thing that mattered to Sansan is she had made that choice, “It doesn't matter. It's enlightenment. What happens next doesn't matter.”

And if you ever are worried, because you're … five is all I want. Five for enlightenment. Five. Five, ten, 100, 1,000. It doesn't matter, but that's why we're working together.

You're here at the threshold, and I'm saying, why aren't you crossing?

EDITH: Why aren't we?

ADAMUS: You have to answer that. Why aren't you? Why aren't you? This is going to lead to a lot of …

EDITH: I thought we did.

ADAMUS: You did, but you didn't experience it yet. That's the weird thing. Go back to point number three or four today – time. You did, but now it's about experiencing.

So remember, when you're laying there in bed at night, first of all, Sansan would be happy to come and talk to you. When you're laying there wondering about that step, “What's going to happen?” and the fear comes in – “Well I'm not sure if I'm ready,” and all these other things – stop and take a deep breath and remember that all is well in all of creation. Au revoir.

Until our next meeting at the doorway of your ascension. Thank you.

　　
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