phase2 in the awakening process;
destructuring; What That For?
< Master 10 > And then a really interesting thing happens. You go into phase two. "Ouch." That's what I'm going to call it, "Ouch." Ouch! The other one, "What's That For?" Or, as I like to call it, "Destructuring." Destructuring. Ouch, ouch, ouch. You've all been there, done that, and you're still feeling the side-effects from it. You're ready to go Home, whatever that means. You are now becoming a wise spiritual person. You even start talking different to other people with a kind of arrogant, obnoxious, om-ing type of sound, and something happens. Your life falls apart. You destructure.
< Master 10 > I don't want to say it's unfortunate, perhaps it's somewhat necessary, but it doesn't have to be so painful. It doesn't have to be so grueling. It doesn't have to be so death-like. It's going to happen, because in this "Ouch" zone, everything that you thought you were, every belief that you've ever had starts falling apart. It's really transmuting; it just appears like it's all tumbling down. Crumbling like an old building in an earthquake. And the human aspect comes screaming out, "What the … is going on with my awakening!?"
< Master 10 > Now, you've got a tremendous contradiction. You're a spiritual person whose life is going downhill. You've told other people how great you're going to become, and now you're becoming nothing. They laugh, "ha, ha, ha," behind your back, once in a while right at your face. You lose your job, your spouses, your health, your mind; everything falls apart. You're destructuring. Celebrate! What's happening is a variety of things. You are now in the experiential part of awakening. All the old religious values start to shift and change, all of the belief systems.
< Master 10 > This is party time for aspects. (laughter) They are going to come back. Some of them have been out of contact with you for a long time, lifetimes and lifetimes. They've been way out there, because they were sick and tired of you. So they've been gone somewhere else, and suddenly they have this urge to come home. They hear the same calling that you've heard. They feel something is getting stirred up, so they come back home. They're not necessarily on a permanent basis, they're coming back to see (a) if this is the time to really take over, where they run the show, or (b) there's part of them that's curious. "Maybe we really are going home." And then they laugh, "No way. No way."
< Master 10 > But the aspects come back. They come back, as Aandrah and On will tell you, in wave after wave after wave. Now I know there's perhaps a glorified understanding of aspects coming back, that you just take a deep breath and they all come back home. Some of them do. They're happy to be back. But some of them are just so annoyed with you. Some of them have so much disrespect for you. Some of them think that you're the fool. And some of them just - they're aspects; they just want power and control. They don't know why, they just want power and control. So this is a really difficult time. I'm surprised you made it. This is a fragile, but yet extremely important time that you go through.
< Master 10 > So, dear Shaumbra, everything starts to fall apart here (the "Ouch" zone). It looks dismal. It looks dark. You're at the end. It is really the biggest death process you'll ever face, including physical death. Physical death is a walk in a park on a sunny day compared to this, truly, because you just go. Generally, you go days before your body does. You lose connection and consciousness, so you just evaporate away over into the other side, and then your body dies and everybody cries - most everybody. But this is tougher. This is the death of self, the self that has been constructed carefully, designed impeccably, and manipulated by a pro for lifetimes and lifetimes. It was designed by parts of you to be eternal, and it suddenly discovers it's not.
< Master 10 > I'm talking about the manufactured human identity. This robotic aspect has been programmed for human perfection - beautiful body; gorgeous face; impeccable sense of clothing, of course, of fashion; wealth beyond wealth; intelligence above anybody's; ability to work miracles simply by waving their hands - and, of course, the smell of chocolate chip cookies all the time. So this robotic - it's actually a group of aspects - have been carefully designed like robots and set out there. And suddenly, you and the robots, the aspects, all discover that was one great big illusion. You'll never reach that state of human perfection. Unattainable. Unattainable. You're never going to ascend in that status; it happens different. Awakening is different.
< Master 10 > This period, this "Ouch" destructuring period can last anywhere from approximately 10, 15 years for those who are fast-tracking, to 3, 4, 5 lifetimes or more. Slow studies, maybe 20, 30 lifetimes. Truly. Think of your accumulated garbage, all the accumulated beliefs and delusions and illusions and anger and wound and everything else. Think of how long it took to accumulate that. And think of how long it might take to clear it. So we had a bet about the awakening: how long would it take for what we would call, I don't like the term, but a more advanced - let's call it more desperate (laughter) - human to awaken? General consensus was 3, 4 maybe 5 lifetimes. My dear friends, you've cost me a lot of spiritual moolah! (money)
< Master 10 > The ones coming behind you if they have enough passion in this, they could be doing it in 5 or 6 years possibly. And the years don't matter - other than to you. If it's already done, it doesn't matter. But yes, there's part of you that's saying, "How much more is this going to take?"
< Master 10 > This ("Ouch") zone here is where we'd like to concentrate. In helping people to understand what they're going through is relatively common, and it's going to be okay, if they can get through that. In this destructuring zone is also when they really feel the loss of their spirit guides, where they feel so alone, where nothing makes sense anymore.
< (Next) 1 > What happens now, and what's going to be such a factor for you, is suddenly you realize that you couldn't have experienced all of the potentials for all that would be, because you would get to a point - let's just say it's the point of I Am and New Energy merging together - where there is potentials that could have never been imagined by you or by God, ever. Brand new potentials that were never there before. You had to destructure yourself to make room for some of these potentials that were never imagined, even in the heart of hearts of God.
< (Next) 5 > Remember back in here (before the "X") was destructuring, what appeared to be chaos, what appeared to be your life going to hell, the self-doubt, everything else, and filled with a lot of makyo. You would try to counter or to soothe these difficult challenging feelings by giving yourself a lot of makyo, giving yourself, "I am a spiritual being," and giving yourself esoteric intellectual things that were actually compounding the challenge.
< (Next) 5 > But in
a way, that was good. The more makyo you threw onto the fire, the bigger the
fire got, the worse you felt, and it was like a fire of, well, as Kuthumi
would know, of cow dung chips, and it smelled really bad, but it kept burning.
It kept the energy going. You got to a point where you said "I don't even
believe my own makyo anymore. I don't know who I
am." And, of course, then there is the trying to find answers out there,
trying to find answers in everyone else other than yourself, and then it doesn't
work. Doesn't work. What do you do? You try to go out of existence.
< (Next) 5 > You try to go out of existence; you try to get absolutely so numb, so unfeeling and indifferent; you shut down your mind so you can't think anymore, not even rational; you shut down your body so it's not rebalancing - you basically are angry with the body for putting you in this horrendous journey on Earth - you shut down the body. I'm amazed at some of you sometimes, your body is amazing. It should have died by now! It should have gone toxic on you. It really should have - it's amazing - because of what you were putting it through and the lack of allowing yourself to heal. And the junk they put in the bodies these day.
< (Next) 5 > So in here there's the destructuring. There's the makyo that's put onto the fire that actually keeps the process going, it keeps it heated up. This is what you've been going through. Thank god you're done with that process. A little residual left, but you're done with it. Thank yourselves for that. Yeah, give yourself a hand. And you know the beautiful thing about what you designed here is you can't go back. You cannot go back. That's the beauty of it. Some of you fear that, but you cannot go back into it. And if you do, I'll be there. I'll be there keeping you out.