phase3 in the awakening process;
< Master 10 > Now, you come to the next step, which is what I'm going to call the meld. The "Meld." By the way, these are not clear barriers. You don't go hop from one to the other, they kind of flow through each other. I'm oversimplifying it. You come to the "Meld" in this process. Now the waveforms are inevitably coming together. Suddenly, you realize, "Damn, there's no going back. It is happening." You try to go back, but you can't. You try to forget, but you can't forget what you know. You even test it. You say, "Can I blank all this out?" But you can't.
< Master 10 > This next is the meld where, at a very deep level, you actually start to feel yourself, your divine. You still feel very human, but suddenly you get glimpses of clarity. Probably the most significant part of this is suddenly you get a creative burst. You haven't had it in forever. Suddenly, you are drawn into things that are creative in nature - music, artwork. You never gave a rip about it before. Suddenly, you see a beauty in things that have always been there, but you haven't noticed.
< Master 10 > Now, you're still going through a lot of the chaos and the trauma of the "Ouch" zone, the destructuring, but now you've got some hope. You're seeing evidence that this is really happening. You start to actually connect and communicate with nonphysical entities. Not that you're going to turn into channelers, thank god, but suddenly you find yourself talking to other beings. And they answer, and then you doubt it of course. But you do it again, and there's a little bit more clarity the next time.
< Master 10 > Suddenly, the fog starts to appear to lift, but then the next day maybe it gets heavy. And suddenly you feel some deep new passion, but the next day it seems to have kind of faded out again. You're in that funny middle zone, and that's, dear Shaumbra, that's where you're at right now. You still have the anxiety. You're still gun shy, as they say, a little in shock, overwhelm and awe of this process you went through. And you didn't know you'd gone through it. There's still the anxiety that you're going to either have to go back or it's still there or you're just making all this up.
< Master 10 > But, dear ones, in this melding, you're starting to feel your self, this lost love. It actually becomes more intense, more desire, and the funny thing is in this phase here, not only is your heart aching for your lost love, but you can feel it is aching for you as well. It's a feeling beyond words, indescribable, to know that every part of you has missed you and cared about you and felt separated from you and wants to come back to you even more than you want to come back to it. It's an amazing beautiful experience. It may last for a hundredth of a second, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.
< Master 10 > So here there's something that happens. It's the melding. It's the knowing that this is real. It's suddenly discovering that what you've been searching for really is there. You feel like you're just about to break through. You feel like you can almost taste, almost breathe, that whatever it is. Whatever you want to call it - enlightenment, awareness, ascension - it's so close, you know it's there. It's not a far off dream anymore; it's right there, but it's still eluding you. It's really not, actually. It just feels like it is. this is the point of getting extremely distracted.