The Discovery Series SHOUD 3
Presented to the Crimson Circle Nov 2, 2013
Original Website http://www.crimsoncircle.com/

 

I Am that I Am, Adamus of Free and Sovereign Domain.

Ah! We have a few here this time. Welcome. Greetings.

  

Having A Body

Lovely to see so many of you here. Lovely bodies you have, hm. (a few giggles) No, truly. Truly. Can you imagine the joy of having a body and being in it? Oh! I can vaguely remember my days when I had a physical body. Oh, I know sometimes you curse it. You cuss it. Sometimes it's filled with pain. Sometimes it gets old, maybe a few wrinkles here and there, but such a delight to have a physical body.

I'm occupying Cauldre's body just for a few minutes here, which is okay, but my dear friends, to have this body! Take a deep breath into it. Oh! This isn't the thing that makes you a human. No, the body is not what makes you human. No. It's the consciousness – or let's say the limited consciousness – it's the perception from which you operate. That's what makes you human. Just because you have this physical body doesn't make you a human. Not just that. You can go out in the cosmos and bring your body with you. That's not what they're looking at. They're looking at this perspective that you have, the level of awareness.

But to have a body – what an amazing thing! You can be sensual, and even sexual, Edith.

EDITH: Yes, you bet.

ADAMUS: Yes. Thank you, yeah. We've been talking. Good to see you again, my dear. (he kisses her)

EDITH: Thank you. Thank you.

ADAMUS: To have this thing called the body. Just breathe into it for a moment. Ohh! Eat into it. Love into it, this body, yeah, because, well, you're going to need it. You have a lot of years ahead of you on this planet. That's good news, isn't it Larry? You're smiling, Larry. Larry, how's that abundance?

LARRY: Good.

ADAMUS: Good. Just keep thinking that. It'll come your way.

So breathe into it. You have a lot of years left on this planet. No, you're not going to be leaving any time soon. Although once in a while you wonder about it, think about it – “Oh, what a relief to get out of this human consciousness.” No. You're just getting out of your body, and then still take that human consciousness with you.

Oh, and that's a badge of honor, by the way. You go to the other realms, hell, you go to the Near Earth realms and you say, “I just came through yet another human biological experience” – oh, they cheer you on. Yes. You go to these other dimensions with some of the alien beings – oh, it's such an honor to have been an embodied human.

So breathe into your body, love it and appreciate it.

  

Adamus

This facet of St. Germain (French pronunciation) that's called Adamus or Adamus (pronounced Ah-de-mus), I love it. I love it. It's kind of a co-creation between you, Shaumbra, and me. I had the desire to do it, but I didn't quite have the group to do it with, until you came along, and then we created Adamus. Pretty amazing isn't it? (a couple of people say “Yeah”) Yeah. Yeah. (Adamus chuckles) Yeah, two people out of … (laughter) Three, if Linda's kind of thinking it over. She might be swayed.

No, I love the Adamus persona, this facet of St. Germain, because, you know, there's a lot of messengers out there for St. Germain. Some of them have a contract, an agreement with me. Others feel into me and feel into this essence, but St. Germain is a little bit boring. A little bit boring. If you've ever read … (someone nods, Adamus laughs) Yeah, you have read some of the books! (someone says “Yes”) Ohhh! And I have to say – I'm not shirking my responsibilities so much, but I have to say it wasn't necessarily just St. Germain that was a little boring.

You know there is such a tightness at times in this spiritual journey, such a reverence, kind of a false reverence. So to be able to break away from that kind of boring St. Germain, it's such a relief for me. I can come here. I can hop into Cauldre's body. I can be in a lot of your bodies too all at the same time. I can be a joy. I can be laughter. I can be irritating. I can be obnoxious, and just wait … (laughter)

LINDA: All of that. Yeah, all of that.

ADAMUS: … we have a long time ahead of us.

LINDA: Mm hmm.

SART: Crap!

ADAMUS: Adamus is the co-creation, you and I. It's the part of you that would really like to break out and to be irreverent and to be undisciplined, and to do the things, you normally wouldn't associate with being spiritual. But there is this perspective, this overlay of what spiritual is supposed to look like. I'll tell you, and we'll get into it today. You aren't going to get to heaven in that car, in that spiritual car. (some chuckles) No way. I'm going to show you why and why not.

So it's good to be here with you to have some fun. For those of you who are tuning in for the first time, today I'm going to be humorous (audience applause), because Adamus is you and me, right? Today I'm going to be provocative, often called … (someone says “Yay” and a couple of claps) … fewer laughs on that one. Often called irritating. Irritating. Oh why? Because you want it – we want it – because we've got to find the way out. We've got to find the way out and today we're going to definitely take a look at that.

For some of you tuning in thinking you're going to get a nice spiritual message, no. We're going to be raucous. We're going to be rather crude at times. We're going to do the things that you would never expect would happen in a spiritual group, other than an orgy. (laughter) But other than that – other than that, my dear friends – we are going to go outside of the spiritual box today.

So I do ask you if you're watching in for the first time or even the second, and if you're watching and thinking to yourself, “What am I getting into and what are they doing there?” please try to see it through the end, because the story is yours – from boredom to enlightenment. Mmm. Yes, indeed. (a couple of claps and a whistle)

We do it a bit different here, because you allow it. Some of you allow it. I notice there's not so many today. You'd think, with the profound wisdom, the wisdom of the ages that's coming through these Shouds – yours and just with me messaging it back to you – you would think with the profound wisdom that is here that's going to bring joy in this lifetime, that's going to save you from having to do this lifetime thing about 30, 40, 50 more times; with the humor that we do it with, with the amazing wisdom – all free of charge at the monthly Shouds – you would think there would be a line out that door all the way down the canyon into Denver and out to Kansas with people just waiting to hear, wouldn't you? Wouldn't you? (one person says “Yeah”) I mean, you would think that national television would be here with their satellite trucks and dishes filming this because of the profound simplicity that you are discovering.

LINDA: No. The NSA is here though. (some laughter)

ADAMUS: They might learn something. (more chuckles)

You would think that it would cost at least twelve hundred dollars to attend this session and to be able to touch the hand of – go ahead, it's free today (laughter as he offers his hand to someone) – to be able to touch the hand of Adamus, which is really you. You would think, but no. I look out here in the audience, and of course, last time it was – last month – stuffed animals.

Now can you imagine what it's like for me going back to the Ascended Masters Club and they say, “Adamus how was the meeting today?” Good. Good. (a few chuckles)

“Oh really. Was the audience, was it full?” Oh yeah. Oh sure, sure.

“How were everybody, these humans?” Ummm, they were a little quiet today. (some more chuckles) Yeah, but they really embraced the message, yeah, for a change. (more chuckles and Adamus chuckles)

You would think that the room today would be full. So it takes an extra 42 minutes to drive up here to Coal Creek Canyon, an extra 42 minutes for your enlightenment. You would think. But no, some people just aren't going to take even ten minutes from their schedule – their schedule of chaos, their schedule of drama, and their schedule of whatever. They're not going to take three minutes extra to drive up here.

So when I opened my eyes just now and saw that half the room is full of hardy pirates – aargh, aargh, aargh, aargh, aargh! (audience is also saying “Aargh”) aargh! – I said to myself, I said, “Adamus, St. Germain, Shakespeare,” all my other names, I said to myself – that's very confusing, by the way – I said to myself, “What to do? What to do with a small but hardy group that's here today?” We've got a couple hours to talk about enlightenment, what to do?

And I thought about it for a moment and I said, “Adamus what would you do? What would you do – you Shaumbra who are here – what would you do as humans when others aren't here? What do you do in your everyday life when others aren't around? What do you do when you're there, maybe with a few other people, and there's other … What do you do when you get together with your family and some of the family members aren't there? What do you do? (someone says “We talk about them”) You talk about them! And that's what we're going to do today! (laughter and applause)

  

Shaumbra Gossip

We are going to gossip. (a few chuckles) Nothing wrong with that; you can be enlightened and gossip. As a matter of fact, the more enlightened, the more gossip. The funnier it gets. Why? Because then it's not vicious. They're funny stories. They're very funny stories.

So today let's gossip about those who aren't here. (a few chuckles)

Now take a deep breath. Get out of the spiritual tightness that you might have about that. Linda, dear Linda, would you stand up for a moment please?

Dear Linda tries so hard not to gossip. (some giggles as she nods yet)

LINDA: I'm pretty good.

ADAMUS: She tries so hard not to gossip, but sometimes it takes everything in her power to hold her tongue, although her mind is not held so much. She tries so hard, but today you have license to gossip. You Linda, you Shaumbra, who are here, and the very few who are listening in online today. I see there's a few of you, but not nearly as many. You're so busy that you can't tune in for your enlightenment today, the ones who aren't here? The ones who are here, please join in our gossip today. We're going to talk about Shaumbra. Yes.

Now Linda, you'll need the microphone. Me, I'll need the board so we can capture all of this essence. (he's clearing the area and hands a footstool to David) Here you go. (Adamus chuckles)

LINDA: What?!

ADAMUS: The essence of Shaumbra.

So take a moment to feel in about Shaumbra. We're going to do a composite – a Shaumbra composite here – with a lovely … (Adamus draws a human figure) Not sure if that's a smile or a laugh. So what is it about Shaumbra? It's just us here.

So Linda would you take the microphone, please, out to the hardy pirates who are here. Let's talk about the attributes of Shaumbra from the standpoint of things like … (he's trying to raise the side arms on the easel) things like … angel wings. Ah yeah. If we could get some tape, please. Yeah, very clever. From the standpoint of their desires – what do Shaumbra desire? Not yet. (to Linda) Not yet. From the standpoint of their beliefs – what do they believe in? From the standpoint of their truths – what are their truths? In other words, what is really true to them?

From the standpoint … if you would tape that up – up here. All these things you have to do.

LINDA: So complicated. (Linda tapes up his drawing)

ADAMUS: From the standpoint of their reality … their reality. What about Shaumbra? Hm. (he's writing)

Shaumbra composite. You know like sometimes they'll do a composite of humans and overlay all of the characteristics onto of it. Does anybody feel uncomfortable about gossiping? We can turn off the cameras and the microphones and everything. Anybody … turn the lights off. Yeah, yeah, yeah! (Adamus is chuckling) You want to wear bags over your head. (a few chuckles) I suddenly felt an energy crash in the room, like “Ugghhh!” No, no. It's okay. They don't mind. They're not here. So we can talk about them.

So Linda if you would take the microphone, please. Let's get started. Think about it in terms of what are their desires? Let's start there. Shaumbra desires.

PAUL: I would say that most Shaumbra feel that they are finally getting the answers.

ADAMUS: Getting the answers. Good.

PAUL: Yes.

ADAMUS: Okay. Finally getting answers. That's a good one. Are you, Paul?

PAUL: Most definitely.

ADAMUS: Most definitely.

PAUL: Mm hmm.

ADAMUS: What's the best answer that you got?

PAUL: Yes.

ADAMUS: Good. And what was the question?

PAUL: Doesn't matter. (Adamus chuckles)

LINDA: Oooh!

PAUL: Doesn't matter.

ADAMUS: Oh, wise one!

LINDA: Ooooh!

ADAMUS: Oh Grasshopper. Good! Good. (Adamus chuckles and a couple of claps in audience)

SART: He gets an Adamus Award.

ADAMUS: Excellent. Excellent. Good. Okay.

PAUL: Thank you.

ADAMUS: Shaumbra.

LARRY: (moving the easel) You're blocking the people we're gossiping about.

ADAMUS: Oh right. Shaumbra. What are their desires? What's their reality? What are the truths? What are their spiritual truths? Ah good, good. Please do stand up. Come on up here. I haven't seen you in a while.

KERRI: I feel so special. (Adamus chuckles; she comes half way) Is this good, or all the way?

ADAMUS: No, no, no. Come on all the way up. Come on all the way up. If we're gossiping they might as well have everybody see who's doing the talking. So tell me …

KERRI: What was the question?

ADAMUS: The question is, tell me about Shaumbra.

KERRI: Shaumbra want – the single women want to get laid.

ADAMUS: Oh, hang on a second.

KERRI: I'm going to tell you the truth.

ADAMUS: Let me … I have to write that.

KERRI: I hear it all the time.

ADAMUS: Um, well, I'll just write it like it is.

KERRI: It's the truth, I mean …

ADAMUS: Oh. Just single women or married women?

KERRI: I don't talk to the dudes. Oh they probably want it too. They might be getting it. I don't know. (some laughter)

ADAMUS: Okay. So what you're saying here just the women want to get laid, not men?

KERRI: I don't talk to the dudes, and they're all paired up. They not single here. They're all with somebody. Do you see a single … oh Sart, sorry about that. (Adamus laughs) Oh, oh, wait. Sorry. But no, I hear from the women, my girls, and …

ADAMUS: Girls, okay.

KERRI: … they would like to get a little bit once in a while.

ADAMUS: Girls. Get a little bit of what?

KERRI: And I tell them get out of your mind.

ADAMUS: Get a lit- … I don't always understand the modern phrases.

KERRI: Yes, you do.

ADAMUS: Get a little … (he's writing) Okay. Why just a little? Why not …

KERRI: It's so true.

ADAMUS: I'm assuming you're talking about abundance? Why not a lot?

KERRI: Because they get in their mind and they go, “I need my soul mate. He has to be perfect and spiritual.”

ADAMUS: Oh, “need soul mate.” Okay. What does that have to do with getting a little?

KERRI: That's what I say. (some chuckles)

ADAMUS: Okay. (Kerri giggles) Need a soul mate. (he writes is down) Okay, and … good. So getting a little. And you?

KERRI: You haven't stopped by. (laughter from Adamus and audience) I've been waiting.

ADAMUS: I have but you were asleep.

KERRI: You haven't been coming to dance at my front door.

ADAMUS: You were asleep and snoring.

KERRI: Oh whatever.

ADAMUS: Not so attractive – the snoring. The sleep was fine. And what else? What else about Shaumbra?

KERRI: What else about Shaumbra?

ADAMUS: What else about Shaumbra, because I've heard you …

KERRI: They think too much.

ADAMUS: They think too much.

KERRI: Thinking too much, far too much.

ADAMUS: Think too much. Okay. And what do they think about?

KERRI: And I'm not doing this sugarcoated, because if you ask me, I'll tell you.

ADAMUS: No. We're gossiping today. Think too much. What do they think too much about?

KERRI: Their enlightenment.

ADAMUS: Getting laid. (Adamus chuckles)

KERRI: Oh yeah, yeah. They don't admit to that.

ADAMUS: Right, right.

KERRI: They told me that on the sly, because I can see it all over them.

ADAMUS: Right, right.

KERRI: And I get it out of them.

ADAMUS: Right.

KERRI: The true desires.

ADAMUS: Yeah.

KERRI: But then they're like, “Why can't I have that abundance?”

ADAMUS: What do you tell them when they say, you know, “Dear Master Kerri, I'm just looking for more physical sensual experiences.”

KERRI: I say, you know, have a few drinks, number one.

ADAMUS: Right.

KERRI: Have a wing man like me.

ADAMUS: Right, right.

KERRI: Take me out, I'll find you somebody for sure.

ADAMUS: Really?

KERRI: Yeah, yeah.

ADAMUS: Oh, okay. Good.

KERRI: You don't need help like that, I'm sure. But …

Adamus: I don't go out.

KERRI: Oh, okay.

Adamus: Good. So … we won't go there. So they think too much, and what do they think about?

KERRI: Beyond sex, their enlightenment and why they don't have any abundance.

ADAMUS: No abundance. Okay.

KERRI: Their stinkin' thinkin' I call it, Larry.

ADAMUS: (writing on board) No abundance.

KERRI: Stinkin' thinkin'.

ADAMUS: And what do they think about their enlightenment?

KERRI: They say, “What the hell! I've gone to all these workshops all these years and I'm still broke.”

ADAMUS: Duh!

KERRI: Duh!

ADAMUS: Good. And why do you think they want enlightenment? What do they think enlightenment is?

KERRI: Well, they got on this train a long time ago and they want it to pull on the track, and they're just – I don't think they think too deeply into it.

ADAMUS: (writing on board) Not too deep … you don't mind if I write some of these down. Not too … they think too much, but not …

KERRI: I'm going to send you my bill.

ADAMUS: … too deeply. Excellent. Thank you. We're getting a good list going here. Good. Thank you. Thank you.

KERRI: You're welcome.

ADAMUS: Linda?

LINDA: I was ready.

ADAMUS: Good. Thank you Kerri.

KERRI: You're welcome.

ADAMUS: You've kind of opened this up. It's getting a little saucier now. Good, good, good. (some applause) We knew we could count on you.

Okay what else? Shaumbra come – we have some good ones going here. We started off a little makyo, but now we're getting the good stuff. Okay. What else?

LINDA: I'm going to give the mike to our very, very famous special guest here today – Patricia Aburdene, the author of Conscious Money.

ADAMUS: Oh!

LINDA: Since all these abundance problems, this woman …

ADAMUS: Do you get paid for these product positions?

LINDA: This lady has answers.

ADAMUS: Do you get product placement, you know, commission?

LINDA: Yes, I do. She sends me blessings.

ADAMUS: Good.

LINDA: There's an exchange of blessing that goes on.

ADAMUS: Good. Do you have a copy of the book with you today? We could hold it up for the camera. (Patricia shakes her head no) Okay.

LINDA: It's called Conscious Money, Patricia Aburdene.

ADAMUS: Good. So, dear Patricia, what is it about Shaumbra in our little …

PATRICIA: (she shouts) They want to be famous! (Linda laughs)

ADAMUS: Oh yes! They want to be famous. They do, actually. They do and they don't. Okay. So they want to be famous, and are they?

PATRICIA: No. That's why you have to dredge me up. (they both chuckle)

ADAMUS: And what is it …

PATRICIA: And I'm not even famous!

ADAMUS: Why is it that they want to be famous?

PATRICIA: Well, that's a validation. That means you're loved. You're …

LINDA: Ohh.

PATRICIA: You're …

ADAMUS: I love that.

PATRICIA: Look at Kim Kardashian. How can you question? How can you ask?

ADAMUS: Such a good role model.

PATRICIA: Why?

ADAMUS: Yeah. So validation. Excellent. Validation at what level?

PATRICIA: Well, it depends on the group. (she chuckles)

ADAMUS: Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

PATRICIA: Depends on who thinks you're famous.

ADAMUS: Yes. Well, the validation is kind of that human self, what I call the little human self, that is trying to feel like a big human self. And it wants the validation from others. It wants … that part wants to walk in a room and everybody to go “Oooh. Ahh.”

PATRICIA: “There goes …” whatever.

ADAMUS: And then the validation from themselves, of course. The validation – “Ah, I made it. Because I'm famous I did something great that I'm really noted for. Because I'm famous I must be kind of enlightened. Kind of. And because I'm famous I'm probably going to have some money and I'm going to have happiness and peace.” Yes.

PATRICIA: Sure.

LINDA: Probably sex too.

ADAMUS: Yes. How does that work?

PATRICIA: Yeah.

ADAMUS: And sex, yes. How does that work?

PATRICIA: Well, sometimes it works. It works for some people sometimes.

ADAMUS: Yes. Yes.

PATRICIA: And then after a while maybe there's a little crash.

ADAMUS: Yeah, yeah. (some laughter) I guess so. I guess so. (Adamus chuckles) Yes, kind of gets locked up.

PATRICIA: Well, you become … it's addictive.

ADAMUS: Yes, it is addictive!

PATRICIA: If you're slightly less famous, then …

ADAMUS: Because there's usually somebody more famous …

PATRICIA: … “I'm a failure.”

ADAMUS: … unless you're Adolph Hitler or Genghis Khan.

PATRICIA: Right.

ADAMUS: Usually, somebody more famous. And it is an addiction, not that I ever had that problem.

PATRICIA: No! (someone else says “No”)

ADAMUS: But – but I had notoriety, and I like to say there's a difference between notoriety and fame, although there's really not. It's just a nice way of saying it. But addiction, they want to be famous, and it is addic- … addic- … (he's spelling it out)

LINDA: A what?

ADAMUS: … tive. And …

LINDA: Why'd you get stuck on that?

ADAMUS: Ehhh. You try to do all this.

It is kind of addictive and it's crazy and then they look in the mirror and say, “I must have done something important in this lifetime.” So would it be fair to say most Shaumbra – are they famous or not so famous?

PATRICIA: Not so famous.

ADAMUS: Not so famous. But yet do you think they're looking for fame?

PATRICIA: (she sighs; someone else says “No”) Somebody said no. Okay.

ADAMUS: Good. Not so famous. How many here – you can just answer to yourself – how many here of you have kind of dreamt or desired about being kind of a little famous? Just a little. Yeah, I mean, it's natural. It's natural. Part of it, if you take a look from the other perspective, it's also taking pride in what you've done and recognizing that other people recognize what you've done. But it can be a trap.

How many here – and you don't have to raise your hand, because we're just gossiping with each other – how many of you here have thought at one time or the other in the past, “Oh, you know, I'll be enlightened. I'll be kind of right up there with Yeshua and Buddha and Kuthumi. Not St. Germain, nobody can aspire that high (laughter), but I'll be right up there, and yeah, I'm going to be a Master, a teacher, a healer. Wwffft! Healed. Zap! Whoa! Everywhere I walk, people – 'Ah! Please would you heal.'”

And, in a sense, that's interesting, you know, because there is something to be said about helping those who are truly ready to be helped. But in a sense, it's – I'm going to say, I'm going to put the label on it – it's power. It's power, and I just got done in Colombia talking about power and asking the Shaumbra that were there to pull the rug of power out from underneath them, to live powerlessly, without power. It's an amazing way to live. You start discovering how much of your conflicts and problems are derived because of power.

Excellent. Thank you.

PATRICIA: Thank you.

ADAMUS: Let's continue the gossip circle. What else is it about Shaumbra? Think in terms of what are their desires? What are their realities? What are their spiritual truths? What is it about Shaumbra?

LINDA: I'm going to another expert here.

ADAMUS: Ah yes.

MARTY (“MOFO”): We are the world's best breathers.

ADAMUS: Breeders. Good breeders. Oh. (laughter)

MARTY: No, no, no, no! (someone shouts “Breathe”) Breathe.

ADAMUS: Breathers. The best breathers.

MARTY: Breathers.

ADAMUS: Best breathers. Good. Good.

MARTY: Breathe with me. Don't …

ADAMUS: Breathers. Good. Why is that Mofo? Best breathers, why is that?

MARTY: Plenty of practice.

ADAMUS: Plenty of practice.

MARTY: Yeah.

ADAMUS: Yeah, yeah.

MARTY: Yeah.

ADAMUS: What do you think happens when most Shaumbra – when they're asked in a group like this to breathe – what happens?

MARTY: It's just a natural opening. It just comes naturally.

ADAMUS: Yeah, yeah.

MARTY: All the other advice …

ADAMUS: Where do you think they go?

MARTY: Um, closer to their true self.

ADAMUS: Really. I mean really?

MARTY: Ha, ha! (Adamus chuckles) It is the easiest way to get to center, because of all the advice you give us and that we give ourselves, it's the easiest thing to do. It works every time. It's badass.

ADAMUS: Right. It is easy, yes. It is easy.

MARTY: Yep. Mm hmm.

ADAMUS: You know instead of all the mantras and the chanting and, you know, remembering certain lines and phrases or whatever, it is pretty easy. Unfortunately, just between us boys, I have to say that most of the time when Shaumbra are asked to breathe they go straight out of their bodies. They're not doing conscious breathing. Breathing gives them a license to leave for a little while. They go into la-la land.

MARTY: Check out.

ADAMUS: Just nice – whoosh! Wow. They don't even real- … they don't do the conscious breathe, the real conscious breath that brings up the feeling – not the thought but the feeling – “I exist.” Take a breath on that. Wow. Yeah. A lot of them go out, but that's okay. At least it's a reprieve. At least they're not really getting mental. At least they're just relaxing. There's a biological change that takes place at least when we say the word “breathing.” It's like a hypnotic “Breathe” – “Haah, okay.” Good. Good. Okay, best breathers.

MARTY: Mm hmm.

ADAMUS: Yes, and what else? What else about Shaumbra?

MARTY: Um. We think we're better than everyone. (laughter)

ADAMUS: Ah. I like that. I like that.

MARTY: I mean, not in a snotty way.

ADAMUS: No.

MARTY: I …

ADAMUS: Noooo.

MARTY: No! No! (more chuckles)

ADAMUS: No! (Adamus chuckles)

MARTY: We are some kickass angels. I mean …

ADAMUS: Who do you think they're …

MARTY: It's not bragging if it's the truth.

ADAMUS: Sure, sure, sure. No. No, actually, you know, that has an interesting dynamic to it – “better than others” – which is good. Now, a lot of people would say, “Oh! Shame on you for thinking you're better.” It's like, why? Why not? I mean …

MARTY: Exactly.

ADAMUS: I Am that I Am. I can't help it!

MARTY: Yeah! (laughter)

ADAMUS: Sorry about your fate.

MARTY: I can't help it I'm so damn good!

ADAMUS: I Am that I Am. So yeah, yeah. And the question I have for you … a lot of times they do think they're better than others, and I purposely play right into that. I love it. And I love telling Shaumbra that I love working with them, because I do. It would really be boring to work with some of these other groups. Truly.

But the question I wonder at times is, is it just candy? Is it just a little drug, a little cocaine of the day? Is it just a feel-good, you know, just to get them back propped up a little bit to walk out the door and go face life?

I don't know. I'm not making any judgment. (some laughter) But … but … and is it a bad thing to think I am different than others? Different in a way that I like and I appreciate even if they don't …

MARTY: Exactly.

ADAMUS: … and yeah, I'm better. So. Yeah. That's a very interesting observation. How do you feel?

MARTY: Um …

ADAMUS: Let's say you walked down to church tomorrow, which ain't going to happen, but let's just say you did. You walked in the door of church and the priest is up there doing his priesty kind of thing. Are you going to think, “Pffft! I'm better than this?”

MARTY: That's very interesting you say that.

ADAMUS: I know it is. (Linda can be heard chuckling) Everything I say is kind of interesting!

MARTY: Well, for one, I wouldn't make it through the door, because I'd get struck by lightning probably going in, but … I actually went to a funeral just yesterday, a service, and as the preacher was doing his, you know, “We are God's children and he gave you life” and all this, I'm just … it was very interesting what was going through me, because it wasn't pffft, psssft, cchhhhtt. But, it was. (he chuckles)

ADAMUS: I didn't quite get that.

MARTY: I mean, you know … (laughter)

ADAMUS: What was that? What was that?

MARTY: It was pffft, psssft, cchhhhtt.

ADAMUS: Ah! Yeah, yeah.

MARTY: Yeah.

ADAMUS: That's kind of like the WTF, you know, but I like yours better. Could you do that one more time so we could play it again on the video next month?

MARTY: Sure!

ADAMUS: Okay.

MARTY: Sure. Pffft, psssft, cchhhhtt. (laughter and some applause)

ADAMUS: It's that simple!

MARTY: Easy as breathing.

ADAMUS: I see Vicki or whoever's going to edit just looping that time and time and time again.

MARTY: We could turn it into a song.

ADAMUS: Yeah. Ohhh! Yeah. Good. Good. And what happened at the funeral, after your pfft, che, pfft?

MARTY: Same as always. Everybody was, you know …

ADAMUS: Out of their body.

MARTY: Yeah.

ADAMUS: They always are at funerals.

MARTY: Uh huh.

ADAMUS: Yeah. Very out of their bodies. Yeah, yeah.

MARTY: And then afterwards everybody just slowly seeps back into the same old grind they're normally in.

ADAMUS: Yeah. It's interesting. I pop in on some funerals now and then just for grins.

MARTY: For laughs.

ADAMUS: Things are a little slow with the Ascended Masters. And I pop in, and it's so interesting, because at the funerals there is the kind of the perception, the kind of the façade of sadness, and once in a while there actually is. But come with me some time – we should do a DreamWalk to somebody's funeral (some chuckles) – but come with me some time and they're thinking about what they're going to have for dinner. They're thinking about their vacation. They're thinking about sex. They're thinking … yeah, in a church at a funeral. They're thinking about all these things, and a lot of guilt. A lot of guilt, their guilt. They're really not thinking of, “Hey, how's Bob? How's Bob doing on the other side?” They're afraid to know that Bob is sitting right there with them, and Bob ain't happy. (a couple of chuckles) Good. Good.

Anything else? Anything else for our gossip list?

MARTY: That about wraps it up. I've probably offended plenty.

ADAMUS: Oh that's okay. That's okay.

MARTY: They're not here. They're not here.

ADAMUS: They're not here.

LINDA: Who's funeral was it?

ADAMUS: You know, perhaps the whole reason I'm doing this …

MARTY: A receptionist.

ADAMUS: … is just so they damn well better be here from now on, otherwise, we're going to talk about them.

MARTY: That'll learn 'em.

ADAMUS: That'll learn 'em but good. Good. Thank you. Let's do a few more. Good.

LINDA: Okay.

ADAMUS: Nothing like a little Shaumbra gossip. What is it about Shaumbra that really annoys you?

LINDA: That wasn't the original question. (laughter)

MICHELLE: Yeah!

LINDA: (laughing) That wasn't the original question! (more laughter)

ADAMUS: I evolved. I evolved. But what is it about Shaumbra, period?

MICHELLE: We're all waiting for our enlightenment. Every month.

ADAMUS: Oh!

MICHELLE: We're waiting, we're waiting, we're waiting.

ADAMUS: Yeah, yeah.

MICHELLE: And then we're easily distracted.

ADAMUS: Yeah.

MICHELLE: But we're very committed, I think.

ADAMUS: (writing on board) Waiting for enlightenment.

MICHELLE: Like “Where is it? When?!” (someone shouts “When?!”)

ADAMUS: Enlight- … waiting for enlightenment.

MICHELLE: Yeah. By 2012, 2013 …

ADAMUS: But you know, this is at the top of my list.

MICHELLE: … 2020.

ADAMUS: What is it about Shaumbra? They're all waiting. I mean, they're all waiting. I can dance up here for a while, not forever, but for a while. I can distract, because that is my job, by the way. I can distract for a while, but they're all waiting. I go back from a lot of meetings, and I go to my castle, one of my many, many, many castles, and I … (someone giggles) And I see they're all waiting! So I don't mind – I'm entertaining myself, if nothing else – but they're all waiting. Yeah. Why?

MICHELLE: Because it's the most important thing for us?

ADAMUS: No, why are you waiting. Why aren't you doing it?

MICHELLE: Oh, why aren't we doing it?

ADAMUS: Yeah, yeah.

EDITH: Because he's such a good lover!

ADAMUS: Ahh, thank you. Shhh! Don't tell, Edith. Edith doesn't want her enlightenment because she thinks I won't come around visiting at night and …

EDITH: You don't know what I want.

ADAMUS: You whispered it in my ear the other day.

EDITH: Maybe I lied.

ADAMUS: (chuckling) Good. So why the wait? Why the wait?

MICHELLE: I don't know. I think maybe we're waiting for some magical moment where things just instantly change.

ADAMUS: Yeah, yeah. Peowww!

MICHELLE: You wake up and you feel different. You feel connected. You love yourself.

ADAMUS: Yeah.

MICHELLE: You don't care about being famous. You don't care about anything, because you're just so … I don't know.

ADAMUS: Oh, let's stop right there – you don't care about anything.

MICHELLE: Well …

ADAMUS: Well, no, really.

MICHELLE: Yeah, I just …

ADAMUS: No, no, really. No, I mean, no really. You don't care about anything. Period. Maybe that's a little secret clue in our game of gossip – you just don't care about anything.

Now, most people would say, “Well, that sounds awful. That sounds so boring. You're supposed to care about things.” Really? I mean just imagine for a moment if power was pulled out from your life, if you stopped playing the power game. Power is everywhere. It's in politics. It's in money, business, your relationships with others, everywhere else. Everybody plays power. Power came to be because there was a belief that there was a limited amount of energy and you had to steal it from someone else, because you certainly weren't going to bother looking within yourself for energy or consciousness or answers. So it started the whole power game, which has never really stopped. But it's all an illusion.

Power is an absolute illusion, because everything is within, and that which is within attracts all the energy that you could ever need and you never have to steal it from anyone else. But everyone lives in this illusion of power, lives in the illusion that you have to be doing something and that you have to care about something.

I contend that you don't have to care about a damn thing. Then you're free to actually enjoy everything. Powerless. Without having to play the games. You can actually finally start appreciating having a physical body and not worry about it aging or getting sick. You can actually enjoy being with other people without worrying about them stealing your energy, twisting you, lying to you, deceiving you and all the rest of that. Oh, so easy.

So I liked when you said you just don't care about anything – period. Mm. But Shaumbra will fill in the blanks.

There's always – I'm going to put mine on here – there's the what I call the infamous “Shaumbra but.” One “t.” There is the Shaumbra but. So we'll be talking at a workshop or talking in our dream state, and you're getting right … not you, they. They're getting right to this threshold of enlightenment – “but …”

Oh! What am I to do? What am I to do? Just bring out the wheelbarrow, fill it with all the buts and haul it back over to the other side for a while. There's the but – “But!” Yeah. Like that. Let's try that once again.

There's always the inspirations, everything else, and then they get right to the moment of enlightenment – “But!” (Adamus chuckles) Good. What else? What else? Oh, I'm having fun.

LINDA: Wait I got a “but.” I do not understand Sart's thing here.

ADAMUS: I don't want to see Sart's thing. I really don't.

LINDA: He's got this Palfinger on. (Sart is wearing a lanyard that says “Palfinger”) What's a Palfinger?

SART: Oh that's a big crane.

LINDA: Sure. (Adamus motions to him)

SART: Oh, I gotta get up and talk?

ADAMUS: Would you stand up, Sart? Yes. And I want to make sure the camera can see you. Come on over here.

SART: Oh no!

ADAMUS: Oh yes! Yes. (Sart's chuckling) Father Sart. Yes. Good. So what did Linda say about your thing?

SART: I don't know what it was.

ADAMUS: What thing?

LINDA: He's got a Palfinger. What in the hell is a Palfinger? Sounds scary.

SART: Oh, that's just heavy equipment, a little truck. (laughter)

ADAMUS: I don't want to hear about it. I really don't want to … I don't want to hear about – what did you call it now – a pal finger?

SART: Who wants to hear?

ADAMUS: Yes. Yes, it's just … ohh. So Sart, while you're up here, let's move this along. Yeah. (Sat sits in Adamus' chair) Pretty nice, isn't it?

SART: This is nice!

ADAMUS: Yeah. I want to trade places with you. Excuse me, Linda. (laughter as Adamus goes to sit in Sart's chair) Yes, and …

SART: Lesson for today, everybody needs to wear one of these shirts, then we'd know where everybody stands. (some laughter)

ADAMUS: So Sart, what is it about Shaumbra?

SART: I like the part about feeling better than other people. In my life right now I think it's still about rules.

ADAMUS: No, about other Shaumbra. Let's talk about them.

SART: I think Shaumbra's tired of the rules.

ADAMUS: But they still have them.

SART: Yeah. We still live by them, but I think we're tired of them.

ADAMUS: Tired of rules.

SART: Tired of rules, looking for freedom.

ADAMUS: Rules. Still … still trapped in them. (Adamus is writing)

SART: I mean, the old red light and green light – that's pretty good, we've got to have that – but some of these other rules that we have… (a few chuckles)

ADAMUS: Good. Good. Yeah. Give us an example of a Shaumbra rule.

SART: Umm, that we have to fit in.

ADAMUS: Yeah, yeah. Ain't gonna happen.

SART: And we're done with that.

ADAMUS: Not going to happen.

SART: We don't need fit in anymore.

ADAMUS: Eh, fit in. Okay. That's a good one.

SART: We used to get our head whacked off for it back in the old days, but I think that's changed too.

ADAMUS: Yeah. Good.

SART: We can do more enlightening. And I noticed it out in the restaurants or whatever. I see people and they kind of cringe when I tell them I've had 1400 lives maybe, and …

ADAMUS: Yeah, yeah.

SART: But I can't prove it to you.

ADAMUS: Right, right.

SART: But you can't prove to me that you're only on your first life.

ADAMUS: Sure. You have these conversations when you go to the restaurants. (a few giggles)

SART: Yeah, and it's a …

ADAMUS: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

SART: People are listening more, from my perspective anyway.

ADAMUS: Yeah, yeah.

SART: Yeah.

ADAMUS: Good. Anything else about Shaumbra?

SART: Oh, we're a crazy bunch.

ADAMUS: Crazy bunch. Okay. Good. Thank you Sart. You can take your equipment back to the chair.

SART: You sure? I'm just getting rolling. (laughter)

ADAMUS: That's why … yeah. I know. I figured that one out. Okay Linda, a few more here. A few more before we move on.

Shaumbra gossip. What is it about Shaumbra, huh? At least speak your mind, speak your heart. Let's not hold back.

JOYCE: Well, I'm fine with them.

ADAMUS: Pardon?

JOYCE: They're okay.

ADAMUS: They're okay.

JOYCE: Yeah.

ADAMUS: Okay.

JOYCE: Yeah.

ADAMUS: But what about … what about … what are their desires?

JOYCE: Enlightenment and thinking that through enlightenment and their abundance will come.

ADAMUS: Oh, okay. Through enlightenment … E = dollar sign. Enlightenment is abundance. That's a kind of interesting way of approaching enlightenment. (Adamus chuckles) Okay. What about the other way around, abundance = enlightenment?

JOYCE: Well, that would work. (some chuckles)

ADAMUS: (chuckling) That would work pretty good!

JOYCE: If the abundance was there to begin with.

ADAMUS: Yeah. Why is it that so many Shaumbra are broke, right on the edge? Maybe not so much more than people in general – well, maybe a little bit more – but you'd think – you'd feel – that Shaumbra, knowing all about energy and consciousness and knowing about the physics that we've all come up with right here in this classroom, that they'd be so wildly abundant that they wouldn't even know what to do with all that money. They'd just bring it here and burn it in the fireplace to keep the room warm they'd have so much. I don't even see a fire today, much less wood, and certainly not money. You'd think.

What else about Shaumbra? I can see you're clicking away there. What else about Shaumbra?

JOYCE: Well, we kind of like to do things our way, and we don't like people to tell us what to do. (she giggles)

ADAMUS: Kind of … okay. “Our way.”

JOYCE: So maybe that's why we don't have abundance, because we're always out there spending it.

ADAMUS: Yeah, yeah, or not willing to take a job.

JOYCE: Or trying a new way.

ADAMUS: Not willing to take a job.

JOYCE: Well, that's me.

ADAMUS: Not willing to take a job. (she giggles a little) Not will to take a job.

JOYCE: That sounds like me.

ADAMUS: If I sound like a broken record is because a lot of Shaumbra do. Oh, eh … but there is this mentally, “Geez, I have to have a job to make money.” Who invented that? That's the biggest bunch of crap I've ever heard in my whole life. Actually, having a job will limit your abundance. Yeah. That's not saying to park your Shaumbra butt on the sofa, but you don't have to work for somebody else. As a matter of fact, I think it was Tobias that said you need to work for yourself.

JOYCE: Well, I do.

ADAMUS: Yeah, yeah. You know, I'm not talking … we're talking about Shaumbra.

JOYCE: Well, okay.

ADAMUS: We're just gossiping about the ones who aren't here. Yeah, good. What else about Shaumbra?

JOYCE: Mmm, sometimes they can wear you out.

ADAMUS: They can wear you down?

JOYCE: Yeah, they can wear you down.

ADAMUS: You're telling me?! (laughter) Oh, I'm sorry! (Adamus chuckles)

JOYCE: I run to the car and run home.

ADAMUS: Yeah, yeah. Is that what we call the makyo factor?

JOYCE: Yes.

ADAMUS: Yeah, yeah. Okay. If you're wondering where we're going with this, I have no clue. (laughter) But we're going anyway. That's the important thing. We're going. We're going. Okay, thank you.

JOYCE: You're welcome.

ADAMUS: Thank you so much. I say two more. Quick. What is it – oh yeah. What is it about Shaumbra? You've just been – mm mm – thinking away there. What is it about Shaumbra?

KATHLEEN: Stuck …

ADAMUS: Stuck. Thank you.

KATHLEEN: … in … stuck in integration. “I have to integrate. I have to go over the story.” Stuck in the story.

ADAMUS: Ah, well let's do …

KATHLEEN: In the mind.

ADAMUS: … stuck and some processing. (he's writing)

KATHLEEN: Perpetually recycling.

ADAMUS: Recy … I like that. Good, good, good. Recycling. Yes, as a matter of fact for the next meeting, let's put signs up on the door “No recycling,” it's funny because there are signs all over here for recycling – recycle your butts and your cans. But, yeah, recycling. Good. Good. And back over and over and over. Same thing. Good. And what else about Shaumbra?

KATHLEEN: Well, we are fucking special. (Linda gasps)

ADAMUS: Yeah, yeah. I wouldn't have used that word, but … “We're special.”

KATHLEEN: Why not? (Adamus chuckles)

ADAMUS: No, this is …

KATHLEEN: Why not? It's a good release.

ADAMUS: Can I write this on the board?

KATHLEEN: Please do. (Linda gasps again)

ADAMUS: We'll just say “Special; very special.” (writing)

KATHLEEN: Well, there's a song about that.

ADAMUS: Special.

KATHLEEN: There is a song.

ADAMUS: Yeah. Good, good.

KATHLEEN: I'm just quoting a song, and I don't know it that well.

ADAMUS: Yes. Good. Do you want to sing a few bars?

KATHLEEN: No, thank you.

ADAMUS: What else about Shaumbra? What about health? What about their health?

KATHLEEN: Well, I'm healthy.

ADAMUS: No, we're gossiping about everybody else.

KATHLEEN: Oh.

ADAMUS: Yeah, yeah.

KATHLEEN: They're using things outside of their self to try and balance instead of owning it for their self.

ADAMUS: Yeah. Yep. Always looking for outside healing somewhere, when the simplest healing – chh! chh! – comes right from there. Yeah. Yeah. Good. Good. What kind of stuff do they use, because I try to pretend I don't see it? What do they use for this healing?

KATHLEEN: Whatever medicine is in the moment.

ADAMUS: (writing on the board) Outside healing. Give me a few examples.

KATHLEEN: Well, there's acupuncture. There's Bach flower essences. There's oils. There's all kinds of medicine.

ADAMUS: Yes. And healers.

KATHLEEN: Whatever form.

ADAMUS: And a lot of healers too to accommodate them.

KATHLEEN: And healers.

ADAMUS: Absolutely.

KATHLEEN: Yes.

ADAMUS: Good. Thank you. One last one. What is it about Shaumbra?

EDITH: Is there anything wrong with having good gossip?

ADAMUS: I just said gossip. I didn't define it as good or bad.

EDITH: Well, everybody is putting crap up there.

ADAMUS: Isn't that something? Amazing, isn't it? Yes. Well, you can be the last one then and you can tell us.

LINDA: Second to the last.

ADAMUS: Go ahead

ANDY: I find the commonality of Shaumbra to be “something better.” We all came here to this place to get our badge of honor in the universe, and then we get here and it's pretty crappy.

ADAMUS: Yeah.

ANDY: So we come to people like you who say, “There is something better and it's enlightenment” or whatever the term of the day is, and I think that is the commonality of Shaumbra …

ADAMUS: I like that.

ANDY: … is that we are looking for something better.

ADAMUS: Kind of a family, a nice family type of bond. Absolutely.

ANDY: Yeah.

ADAMUS: Yeah. Good. See? There was a nice one, Edith.

EDITH: Better.

ADAMUS: Commonality.

ANDY: Oh, it's Edith's turn.

ADAMUS: Kindred spirit syndrome. Yeah. (someone giggles) And, and …

ANDY: (handing the microphone to Edith) Go for it!

ADAMUS: Edith, now your turn. Gossip. Gossip doesn't have to be what you would call negative.

EDITH: The Shaumbra I feel are thinking about how grand and glorious it is to be an Ascended Master, to be a grand creator and to love themselves.

ADAMUS: Oh good, good. I love that Edith. (some applause) Would you repeat that speech? Ascended Master, and what else?

EDITH: That they're grand creators.

ADAMUS: Grand – oh, yeah, they're so good at that – grand creators.

EDITH: And that they love themselves.

ADAMUS: And they're really good at loving self. Okay good. I like this. Thank you!

EDITH: You're welcome.

ADAMUS: It was damn well time somebody put some nice things on that board.

EDITH: I totally agree.

ADAMUS: Yeah, somebody's got to take the position of defending the Shaumbra honor. There you go (handing the mic to Linda after almost tossing it). So, good.

LINDA: I'm a pretty good catch.

ADAMUS: Now, we've got a lot of things on the board here. Let's … we'll wrap this up now. Let's take a deep breath.

What are we doing today? We'll go somewhere with it. We're doing a Shaumbra composite, and the fact is that we're gossiping about everybody else, but it's really all of us. Well, all of you. It's everybody; it's everybody.

And my point on this day in doing our composite: I don't know how you get through the day. I really don't. I really don't. If you look at this board – and these are your answers, we have some what you would call good things, not so good things – but we have things that are in absolute discordance, absolute dissonance with other things.

There are a set of beliefs … let's start with desires out there. A desire to be an Ascended Master, a desire to love, a desire to heal, a desire to live a long time, a desire to be happy. I'm surprised we didn't get peace, love and joy on the board, because those things usually come out – peace love and joy and happiness. So all these desires.

Then we have the realities – “I'm broke, I'm sick, nobody loves me and I don't even like myself” – in direct opposition and conflict to it. It's a massive disconnection, and yet Shaumbra is going through it day after day after day.

  

What A Mess!

Now we're going to play a little game here as we go through it, hope you don't mind. And now is the time, Suzy. We're going to play a game and it's called What A Mess! (a few chuckles) What A Mess! And I've asked Suzy to prepare a special treat for everyone, and every time I'm going through here showing you why things are in disarray and I say, “What a mess!” or you say spontaneously, “What a mess,” you have to take a little sip of my own St. Germain liqueur (cheering and applause), made from pure elderberries. Yes.

LINDA: Get it. Elder berry. Ha, ha.

ADAMUS: Elderberry. Yes. It's a little … and there's a little Tequila also. (Adamus chuckles; the staff passes out small cups with the beverage)

So the object here is to celebrate life, of course. But the object … I'll take the St. Germain. Yes. So now nobody's going to get drunk. Yes. Oh, it's a delightful liqueur. And if you're driving, please, please have two. (laughter)

LINDA: Bad!

ADAMUS: And then find another driver or call a taxi. Yeah, up here to Coal Creek Canyon.

(people start chattering as the drinks are handed out)

Ah, ahem. (Adamus clears his throat several times trying to get their attention because he didn't get a cup)

LINDA: (shouting) What a mess!

ADAMUS: What a mess! I can't even get a drink in this damn bar! What a mess. (Joanne gives Adamus her cup) Oh, but you need one.

JOANNE: We made enough for you.

ADAMUS: Ahh …

EDITH: She's the driver. She's the driver.

ADAMUS: Ahh! No. See, I said “what a mess,” now you're supposed to take a drink. (Adamus takes a sip) Ahhh! And it provides a little relief. No, truly. Oh, it's deli- … oh, delicious.

There are times, my dear friends, where there is such a dissonance in what's going on in your lives; all of you, all Shaumbra. It's amazing to watch sometimes. It's amazing that you can stay embodied. It's amazing that you can have enough food to feed yourself. And more than anything, amazing that you don't go totally out of your mind as in a breakdown.

We talk about things like enlightenment, but yet I truly wonder if you know what enlightenment is. Matter of fact, I would actually say that Shaumbra does not know what enlightenment is. You hear the word, and it's just like taking a breath – “Ah, enlightenment” – whoosh! Out of the body, go off somewhere else.

We've done this in some of our gatherings before where I've had Linda pass the microphone, and I said, “What is enlightenment?” And it's rather clueless. It's rather clueless. I say, “What is enlightenment” and answers start coming out that fill the makyo trash bin with all sorts of answers – peace, love and joy. It's like what is love? What is peace? What is joy?

So it creates this mental spinning that's going on all the time. “I'm in search for enlightenment. I'm in search for enlightenment, but I don't know what it is.” Wouldn't that make a great child's book, a children's book? Searching for something and not knowing what the hell it is. But yet getting up every morning, having that compulsion to do it over and over again, looking for enlightenment. And most Shaumbra, I'm sorry to say in our gossip session, have no clue.

The good news is you're not supposed to really have a clue. You're not required to know what enlightenment is. What a mess though! (audience agrees) Okay. Good. Good. Yes, you take a little sip. Ah, ah. See. This helps break the tension. This helps break the tension.

So Shaumbra is out there, in a way feeling a little better about themselves, but yet they … sex life of Shaumbra – let's be very candid here – not so good. Not so good. (someone says “What a mess”; lots of laughter) He said it; you drink it! What a mess! Now, not for everyone, but it's almost like sex is a sin, and you've got, again, this contradiction going on inside.

Sometimes Shaumbra will say, “Yes, we're here as embodied Masters. We're here to be in the physical reality. The Ascended Masters in the past have left the physical body, but we're here to be in our body,” but yet not even willing to touch themselves – which I'm not going to do on camera here – not willing to touch another, having all sorts of biases about whether it's man and man, woman-woman, man-woman, a group or anything else. All these weird, weird judgments, mental thoughts and all this other stuff about sex. Sex is a grand thing. Unfortunately, it has gotten distorted over the ages. But, my dear friends, sex is a wonderful thing.

So, but you have this dissonant energy going on. I'm really surprised that some days you can make it through the day. You're all out there looking for soul mates – not all, but many are out there looking for soul mates – but doing everything they can to make it impossible. Doing everything they can by a bad attitude, by this long list of requirements for a soul mate. And what is a soul mate? It's your self. It's not another being.

A relationship, fine. But many Shaumbra out there right now are doing everything they can to push relationships away, even though they will put it on the top 10 list of their desires – “I want a relationship.” And I look and say, “But you're pushing everyone away, including yourself.” What a mess! (Adamus chuckles, as the audience says it along with him)

And for those who are still new and watching in online, I told you it would be a little bit different here.

So this whole issue about abundance. One of the saddest things is you have such a desire to have abundance, such a desire to have some money in your pocket. Why don't you? Two reasons: (a) there is still – I'm not talking to any of you, we're talking about the ones we're gossiping about – (a) because many of you are still not sure you want to be here on this planet. You're still not sure you want to live. You're still waiting for someone or something to say, “Here's the answer. Here's why you should live.” But without that, there's a lot question. And it's interesting, as much as we have all this grand talk about DreamWalker Life and about embodied Masters, so often Shaumbra is saying, “I don't know if I really want to be here.” Well, then you're not going to be abundant, period. Because the basics of energy, physics, that you're not going to attract energy.

There's also another interesting dynamic that's taking place in spite of all the great feelings and thoughts and (sort of singing) “We're on our path to enlightenment,” there's also that “If I have money I'm going to do the same crappy things I did before. If I have money, I'm going to make more trouble than ever before.” So what you do is you go on a financial diet, because you think in the past when you had money you used it for power and manipulation. You took drugs. You got drunk. You abused yourself and other people with it. So something in you went on this diet of no abundance. And you feel more com- … you (to camera); I'm not talking to you (audience) but out there. Shaumbra feels more comfortable starving than they do being abundant. It's a plain fact, because anyone – ahem – anyone could have money right now. But you're afraid, “If I had money I'm just going to be that bad human that I was before.”

What a mess! (audience says it along with Adamus) Unbelievable. Unbelievable. You see how you have these contradictions that are working. And I can barely understand sometimes how you get through the day.

And I know how you get through the day sometimes. You fill yourself with some more spiritual crap. You listen to some more spiritual information. You prop yourself up a little bit. You get some nice catch phrases and then suddenly you feel real good for a little while. It's the spiritual sugar that you take in. You come up with a nice little validation and you think, “Well, tomorrow will be better. I know tomorrow will be better.” Not really. Not really. Tomorrow is going to be kind of like today. And what's today? What a mess! (audience says it again along with Adamus, followed by some laughter)

JOANNE: I thought we got through by eating chocolate.

ADAMUS: Eating chocolate and doing all these other things.

What I'm asking you to do today is to take a look at the dissonance, the absolute conflict that's taking place within your human self, your spirit self. You have this spirit persona – the spiritual person that's on the path of enlightenment – and it kind of sits up here. You put it off as this, “This is the thing that's going to save me; this is the grand being,” and it collects a bunch of junk. It collects a bunch of candy, and it collects a bunch of makyo that then somehow gets the human, who is over here with its reality. The reality is generally, not always, but oftentimes pretty broke, not a lot of money, not really any real relationships, not hardly a degree of self-love, and health problems. Those are the basics.

Now, it's not so bad actually if you were a regular unaware human, if you were asleep. Not so bad, because then you just go through the day and, you know, so if you don't have any money, you blame it on the man. You don't get any sex, you blame it on the woman. You don't get any … (Laughter and Linda says “Ohhh!”) You don't get … things aren't go- … but you're unaware, and you just say, “Well, that's the way it is. That's the way it is.”

You don't really think about death. Something inside you knows it's going to happen, because you've seen some others drop over, but you kind of just are asleep to it. You don't really think about God, because, well, it's not your place to think about God. That's what the priests and the clergy and those other folks are for. They're supposed to think about God. And the answers to God are just too big for most people to handle. They say, “Oh, it's not my job. I'm just supposed to live and try to do a good job.” That's the way most people are.

You're different. You're kind of waking up. You're kind of aware. That makes it really tough, because now you still have some of the issues – you, Shaumbra – have some of the issues, but now suddenly you're aware. It's like you've got a loaded gun, whereas the others, their guns aren't loaded. They just have a gun.

Now you've got a loaded gun, so you've got that awareness. But what happens here is this tremendous clash that's taking place every day, and what you do is make excuses for it. And you gloss it over. You come up with new catchwords or phrases. You go to new classes. You do everything but address what's really taking place on the inside. But what you really got is one great big What A Mess. Good. And there's more where that came from, by the way.

So what do you do? You have a drink! You have a drink. Yeah. (Adamus chuckles) We're not going to talk about it. We're not going to process it. You have a drink.

So, waiting for enlightenment. Waiting for enlightenment. That's one of my biggest issues, because it's one of yours – (a) don't know what enlightenment really is; (b) what are you waiting for? To figure it out? It will never, ever happen. Sorry to break the news to you. You'll never figure it out. Really.

You're waiting for somebody to come and tell you how to get to enlightenment? Not another human is going to do that. You're waiting for, I don't know, the right alignment of clouds and stars and dirts and bunny rabbits and everything else to all align, and suddenly you have enlightenment? It's not going to happen.

So what you do is you just barely get through every day, and you wonder sometimes when you hit the bed at night how you got through the day, because you've got these tremendous conflicting forces at work. And it's tougher when you're on the road to enlightenment. It gets worse, because the makyo builds up and the manipulation of the limited being, of the limited consciousness, trying to manipulate something that it's called spirituality makes it feel good, makes it feel kind of special. It's like a drug in a way. It's a huge distraction on the way. But Shaumbra will do it. Shaumbra will pull in the junk, and they'll go to bed at the end of the day thinking that they're going to have a little reprieve when they go to sleep.

But what happens as you do start to awaken? Your dreams are no longer like they used to be. The dreams – suddenly you're aware of what happens. As a matter of fact, one of the reasons you wake up at two or three in the morning is you need a recess from your dreams, which were a recess from your real world. (some laughter and everyone says together…) What a mess! What a mess! I' mean, how do you get through the day?!

My dear friends, there is all of these collisions taking place out there right now, and especially when you get into things like enlightenment it really actually makes it much more complex. The mind starts working more than ever before, as you have probably discovered, and now you have spirit mind – I'm going to call it – spirit mind operating as well. You used to have just human mind, now you've got spirit mind, which means a limited and restricted sense of spirituality, and it's actually all a bunch of crap. It really is. It truly is, because now the mind starts to try to embrace and to own a lot of spiritual concepts. And the spiritual concept “Heal thyself. I am in peace, love and joy. I'm going to om and meditate.” That's the biggest bunch of crap.

By the way, in enlightenment, you're not suddenly filled with peace! You're not suddenly – “Mmmmm” – om-ing. That is the biggest delusion there can possibly be. Eh … it doesn't happen. Not like that. Matter of fact, the word peace goes out the door in enlightenment. It's not even a word anymore. It's not even in your vocabulary.

You know, peace – all peace means to a lot of people is “Give me fifteen minutes, maybe thirty minutes of just things quieting down for a few moments” – that's peace. “I just need to back away. I need to get away from myself” – that's peace. There is no peace. But suddenly there is a consonance. There is a harmony in things. Suddenly, there is not having to figure it all out. Suddenly, there's no longer these conflicts going on. Suddenly, there's such a grace, a natural grace that takes place, and you just break out laughing. You just crack up laughing, because it's …

PATRICIA: What a mess! (Adamus chuckles)

ADAMUS: Yeah! Yeah! It just is. And we'll get there in a moment. But right now we're still back in What A Mess. (someone says “What a mess”) What a mess. What a mess. What a mess.

And what do you do? You take a drink. What a mess.

You have all these conflicting desires and truths – what you would think truth – and beliefs about things, and they're all conflicting. They're all conflicting.

  

The Road to Enlightenment

It would be like … imagine getting into a car – the car is the symbol of your spiritual journey to your enlightenment – but having no clue of where you're going. You get in …

EDITH: That's like getting here today.

ADAMUS: (chuckling) Like getting here! (some chuckles) Yes. Acting it out, you see. Having no idea where you're going. Just you get in that car on the Road to Enlightenment and you start going. Well, what do you start realizing first? “I don't know where I'm going.” But you tell yourself, “Well something will happen along the way. Someone will tell me how to get there. Somehow I'm going to get a map so I'll know how to get to enlightenment.” It's not going to happen. It is not going to happen, sorry to say.

Then you're driving along on the Road to Enlightenment and it's a nice pleasant day, and you're looking out the window. You say, “Oh yeah. This is okay,” but you're a little tentative. You're like, “I hope this is okay, I'll make myself think it's okay. I'll make myself think, 'Oh, what a beautiful sky and the birds.' Ooh! I just hit a deer.” (laugher) And but, but … but ... (Adamus chuckles) Front row laughs. (more laughter) What a mess! What a mess. Yeah.

And then you realize, “Oh that car is making a funny noise. Oh boy, I'm just going to ignore that noise.” Have you done that? “I'm just going to ignore the noise. I hear it, but it couldn't, because this is my car to enlightenment. So I'm going to ignore that noise.” And you know what happens. Two miles down the road, psssss! Could you do the sound effects for us, Mofo?

MARTY: Ppsssss!

ADAMUS: Ah, yeah. So … would you mind giving him the microphone, Linda, so we can get the sound effects properly put in here? On the road to enlightenment you hear that clanking, clanking noise. You ignore it, because you're on the road to enlightenment. Everything is going to work out, and all of a sudden …

MARTY: Pffft, psssft, cchhhhttbbpprrtt. (fart sound; lots of laughter) What that good?

ADAMUS: Good. Good. And the car dies. What do you do?

EDITH: What a mess.

ADAMUS: Yeah, yeah! (laughter) There we go again. We probably needed five bottles for today with all these 'what a mess.'

Car dies. A lot of things happen. Once again, you get into this dissonance with saying, “I'm supposed to be on the Road to Enlightenment, but my car just died. Maybe Spirit is trying to tell me something.” No. Maybe you forgot to get the car checked before you went on the journey. Maybe you forgot to check the oil – it was a little low – or make sure that there was something in the radiator. Sprit's not trying to tell you a damn thing. Spirit is already enlightened, doesn't really care about your journey, you see. (one woman laughs)

That was funny, wasn't it. Yeah. (she laughs alone again) She gets an Adamus Award just for laughing. Please Linda. (someone says, “Get her a drink”) Yeah, she need another drink! Yeah. Yes. Where are those Adamus Awards, by the way? Linda? Where is Linda, by the way? An Adamus Award for laughter.

LINDA: I don't have them with me today. You never give them out. You're so stingy I forgot them.

ADAMUS: What a messsss! Oh! The one day. So you get all the money … I have no idea what's in there. (he gives her the cash from Cauldre's pocket)

MARTY: Oooh! Two dollars! (lots of laughter)

ADAMUS: So where were we? Oh, you're on the journey.

So suddenly you have to use the last of your savings to get your enlightenment car repaired and you start heading back down the road going to you don't know where. And you're going down the Road to Enlightenment, and one day on this long, long, long, long, long journey that lasts many lifetimes, one day you're going as fast as you possibly can, and all you've done is get nowhere faster. (some laughter) And the next day your spiritual mind says, “Oh I should slow down and smell the roses like the Masters did.” You know, “They went very slowly on the Road to Enlightenment, and they observed everything and they breathed while they were on the Road to Enlightenment,” so you go very slow. So you alternate between – on this enlightenment journey – going very fast and then going very slow. Putting on the gas, putting on the brakes. Putting on the gas, putting on the brakes. Do you see the conflict that's going on here?

You continue along this journey of enlightenment, now getting to a level of frustration and angst that simply would have me leave my body. I just couldn't have handled what you are going through. You're going along now; you've been at this journey for years, driving along. It's the same road. It's the same set of problems. It's the same cheap hotels every night along the journey and the same people who are trying to rob you blind.

But you keep going because you're determined, and you think that's an attribute. You think that's like one of those on the positive side of the list – “I'm determined. I have strong will. Damn it, I'm going to see my enlightenment through, no matter what. I'm never giving up.” And when I hear you say I think, “Oh my gosh. I hope, I hope that somebody else comes and helps me, because this is going to be hard!” (some laughter) When I hear you say, “I'm never giving up! This is what I'm going to do!” I think to myself, “We've got a real problem here Houston, because they're determined to go nowhere!” What does even an Ascended Master do at that point?

You get stubborn. You get brutally cruelly stubborn on your road to nowhere. But damn it, you're going to do it, because you've made a commitment to yourself. And if you don't do it, you're really going to be embarrassed in front of your friends and family because everybody knows about your little enlightenment journey and they all laughed about it. (laughter) And if you come back and say, “My car broke down and I went broke along the way. I'm starving. I have nothing and it's all gone,” they're going to laugh at you.

So there is this pride of enlightenment. Pride of the spiritual mind that you better damn well fulfill this journey or you're going to look like a fool.

There's also the factor you're going to look like a big fool for yourself, and that's probably right as bad or worse than feeling like a fool in front of others. You are so committed to your journey of enlightenment within yourself. It's everything. It's everything. And if this doesn't work out, and if this magic is not real and you have to go back to that old self … (someone says “What a mess”; Adamus laughs) What a mess!

And the funny thing is you really can't go back. And the funny thing is you can't go forward. And the funny thing is there's nowhere else to go. That's a real mess. What a big mess. Is there any more alcohol left, Suzy? (a few people say “Yes”) Yeah. Good, good. What a mess.

I hope by now you're starting to understand the conflict, the dissonance in all of this, and I hope you're starting to understand this is a big train wreck on the way to happening.

So you're driving along on this Road to Enlightenment and it goes on and on and on, and each day is the same as the next, and you keep having hopes of enlightenment. You keep hoping that I'll suddenly enlighten you. You keep hoping if it's not me you're going to go leave me; you're going to go somewhere else for the enlightenment. You keep hoping that there's something.

EDITH: Pass a bill in Congress against train wrecks.

ADAMUS: (chuckling) You're hoping to distract me by something else. But I'm going to keep driving home the point. It's a mess in there. It's a real mess. It's an enlightenment mess.

And the good news is, on this road to nowhere, you're exactly where you should be. That's … (inaudible comment) Oh no! No. And let me rephrase that now for you.

I said on this road to nowhere, on the Road to Enlightenment, with all the conflict and all the dissonance in it, you're absolutely exactly where you should be, because – because … (Adamus writes on the board)

What? A mess? No!

You can have a drink on that. No. Actually, it's perfect. It's perfect. And all of the things I've said up to now are … we need some more beverages out here. Some more lemonade or whatever people are drinking.

What? A mess? Not really. It's absolutely perfect.

  

Knowingness

And what I would like to do now, especially since you're a little more relaxed than you were an hour ago, I want you to take a moment and remember this whole thing with enlightenment. It didn't start with a thought. It didn't start with suddenly one day you got so tired of your old life that you decided you're going to get enlightened. It didn't start even when somebody took you to a class or you read a book. No, my friends, it did not. It started with a deep knowingness, a very profound deep knowingness. It was not a thought. It was not an action. It was not a journey. It was a knowingness that emanated from very deep within.

It's gotten abused. It's gotten distorted. It's gotten very, very diluted along the way. But this knowingness has always been there. You don't know what enlightenment is, and you shouldn't know, for the limited mind has no way of knowing. It will try to pretend. It will try to imagine, even – a very cheap type of imagination – as you being rich and famous and sexy and having all sorts of relationships and being a grand guru and a Master. That's what the mind does. It's a distraction. It's not real.

Who knows what is going to happen, and it doesn't matter. Period. It doesn't matter. So I ask you to take a moment and come back to the knowingness, the knowingness that was not a thought. There never was a car. There never was a journey. It never was about trying to be a perfect human. It was never about anything other than coming back to yourself. It wasn't makyo. It wasn't phrases and words. It wasn't sitting here in the Shaumbra audience and it wasn't efforting. It wasn't about power. It wasn't about even wisdom. It wasn't about getting anything.

It was a knowingness – a deep loving knowingness; a knowingness that wasn't an angel or an Ascended Master coming to you; a knowingness that wasn't given by another, prompted by another, brought into action by another. It came from you.

It wasn't your golden angel, your higher self or any of those other words. It was you. It was all you. Not just the human, not what you call the divine. It was the I Am, the true I Am, that's as present here as the human is. It's right here.

  

Feeling the Knowingness

So I'd like to do a feeling – I'm not even going to call it a merabh, just a feeling – back into that knowingness. If we could get the lights down please.

After all this mess and all this chaos and confusion, after all this uncertainty within yourself – because I've seen and I've heard when you've wondered if this was just a big mistake. You've wondered if your spiritual journey was a delusion. Well, yes it was, but it started with something so pure, so real and so deep.

Now … if we can we get a little music in the background.

(music begins; “The Enchanted Path” from the album “Day of Life” by Bernward Koch)

I'm not asking you to go back and think about this, where this knowingness came from. It doesn't matter. It's without a date. It's without an action. It's without any relationship. You see, part of the problem in the spiritual journey is that the mind still tries to relate everything to everything else. And we say the word 'spiritual' or 'enlightenment' it tries to relate to something. It'll grab onto whatever it can in its relational nature.

But the knowingness, that deep knowingness that you had doesn't need to relate to anything. It just knows. It's just there.

The mind tries to figure out the Road to Enlightenment. It's just trying to serve you. It's trying to do for you. But it can't know. The mind will try to relate to something. It'll create a visual of a car going down the highway, breaking down. It will create the visual of you in your determination and stubbornness for enlightenment. But the reality is there is no car. The reality is there's no place to go, nothing that has to be done. Certainly, nothing that has to be fixed. Absolutely. That's one of the tricks or the delusions of enlightenment – something has to be fixed before enlightenment can occur. And it doesn't. Nothing needs to be fixed whatsoever. Not one thing needs fixing. Not a single thing. I don't care if you're an alcoholic or if you're an idiot. It doesn't need to be fixed. Some of you related to that, didn't you? (a few giggles) Nothing needs to be fixed.

So I ask you to take a deep breath and stay in your body this time. Come back to that knowingness. You created it. Not some grand golden angel. Not some higher self. That was you, the knowingness of the I Am.

(pause)

Following this knowingness came thoughts and dreams and imaginations about awakening and enlightenment.

Following this knowingness came a change in energy dynamics in your life, in relationships, in the way you interact with yourself and others. But none of those even are very important. None of them. They're not the thing that brings enlightenment.

It's the simple knowingness. So simple, there's no definition; so simple that the mind cannot relate anything to it; so simple that you cannot recreate it. You cannot recreate it, because it's still there, my friends. It never left.

That knowingness of the I Am, it was never extinguished.

In front of that flame of knowingness you put a lot of other things – grand, interesting experience into your own awakening – but that flame was always there. I know at times you've tried to recreate it – “Where is that feeling?” It's still there. It actually is what's really guiding you.

Sometimes when you wonder why certain things happen in your life, why certain events, situations happen, it's because that knowingness is still there. In spite of your stubbornness and your determination, it knows the truth. It knows it is the way. It knows that it's the awakening. It's the only thing – only thing, my friends – that will remain true and real.

When I say that I cringe when I hear Shaumbra saying, “I'm going to keep going, no matter what,” I truly wish they would just stop. Get rid of that car. Get rid of their journey. Get rid of all the makyo, and the makyo is the gas for the journey. Never fill that tank again. Get rid of the whole thing. Just come back to the knowingness. Nothing else matters. Nothing else is important. Nothing else is going to bring the awareness of the enlightenment.

Nothing.

The knowingness is so subtle. It can't even be defined. The mind has no concept. The mind has no way to relate to it.

Take a deep breath and let yourself fall right into your own knowingness.

Be in that beautiful embrace of the knowingness.

The knowingness was never a directive. It wasn't a directive that said, “You have to awaken now.” It had nothing to do with destiny or timing. You got a glimpse of it, a glimpse of it, just a taste of it when you let down your guard, when you surrendered to the I Am, to yourself for a moment. That glimpse of it created a lot of mind thought, a lot of makyo, a lot of determination. I love you, Shaumbra, for your determination. But determined to what?

Come now and let all that battling, determination, will, drive, push, force, power – let it all down. And amazing, you'll be okay. Actually, better than ever before.

You can stop trying so hard. You can stop being afraid. It's all right there in you – not me, in you – the knowingness, the I Am. The knowingness it's time to come home. Time to come home to the I Am, to the awareness. Time to integrate, just time to come home.

Isn't it funny that you had the knowingness that it was time to come home to the I Am, but you got in a car and went off on a long journey. Oh, home was right there, absolutely right there. I guess that's why I say it was just perfect, in a way. Exactly where you should be.

Eh, you kind of had to go through all of the trials and tribulations before you just wore yourself out and said, “Oh, here I am.” So you stop the searching. There should be a law against spiritual searching. There should be a law against laws, so … (a few chuckles)

Oh, spiritual searching, it's an industry, you know. It's a distraction. I guess it's an experience. It's frustrating, because it's all right if you're doing the spiritual searching and you're aware that you're just searching for the sake of searching. It gets a little sad when you're doing the searching and you think it's real and you think it's actually going to get you somewhere.

No, home – home is calling you. Home is within. No place to go. No words to hide behind. Nothing to do. Nothing to fix. Just coming back home.

Without buts. Without the buts – “But what am I going to do when I walk out the door?” Not a damn thing. You can go about gossiping if you want, drinking, carousing, searching, thinking, battling. When you walk out that door today, you're going to do it at least aware that you're doing it, at least aware that you don't need to do it, at least aware that it was that knowingness that called you, that's still calling. It's still there, and there's not a damn thing you need to do. Nothing.

Take a good deep breath. Try to stay in your body.

Let go of some of that tension. Oh my, the tension about awakening and enlightenment. The stress. That'd be a good song – Stress of Enlightenment.

If I had told you, if Tobias had told you twelve years ago you don't need to do anything, you would have still gone out searching. You'd have still gone broke, had health issues and all the rest of the stuff. So I guess you're exactly where you're supposed to be right now. Right now.

Home is calling all the time.

Good deep breath.

So, my dear friends … oh you can bring down the music a little bit. We'll just stay in this nice quiet lighting for a moment.

  

Looking Forward

Remember, it's your knowingness. If you ever get in trouble while you're out there doing your everyday human things, you just remember a couple of things from today.

I'm amazed that you got through it. That was a big mess, a big, big dissonance. And you kept on trying to fix the dissonance. That's the interesting thing, and that caused more dissonance. You kept on trying to fix things that could not be fixed, ever. But it made you feel good. Like at least you're fixing something, working on something. And the more you tried to fix, the more broken it got.

That's it. It was just about remembering. Home is calling. Always is. That's all. That's all you need to do.

I bring this up now because 2014 is going to be an interesting year for the world, for this planet. I am going to call it the year of tough love for the planet. Tough love. And I'm not talking now about Shaumbra, about you, because you'll be able to just be the observer. You'll be able to stand back. You'll be able to actually identify with what the planet, what humans are going through, because you'll have seen – you went through it – you'll have seen the craziness, the conflict, the dissonance, the battling. You'll have seen the absurdity of it all.

You'll be able to stand back and with a few deep breaths be able to say, “Ah, they're just going through their experience.”

It's going to be a crazy year for systems and countries and really any type of structure or method, anything that's rigid. It's going to be a year of tough love. It'll have its ups and down. I would say that energetically more difficult than most other years, because there's more energy now than ever. And just as your consciousness is rising and bringing in more energy to the planet, it's causing more awareness of dissidence and more conflict and battling. You're going to see people and institutions with their resolve – “I will never give up. I will never let anybody take my land or take my country or change my viewpoint.” So you're going to see a lot of stubbornness and determination. And you're going to see bizarre, crazy things coming from the mind. You're seeing more and more of it every day.

I'm going to drop in a little footnote here. As there are more of these mental medications out there, you're going to see crazier things happening, because you can put a sewer lid on it over here, but it's going to blow up over there. And it's not going to be pretty when it blows up over there. So you're going to see more and more of that imbalance. You don't have to buy into it, or if you do you realize it's just a game you can get out of any time. But it'll be a wild year, a wild ride.

It doesn't mean to panic; it actually means to laugh. It doesn't mean to withdraw; it means to bring more energy to yourself. It doesn't mean you're going to go broke; actually, it can be a year of grand abundance for you. There's more energy than ever before.

We'll be talking more about it in our Shouds to come, all of us. But for now, my dear friends, it's really about taking a deep breath and remember that home is calling. It's there. It's there.

What? A mess? Nah.

With that, remember also that, in spite of how things may appear to be, all is well in all of creation.

Thank you. Thank you. (audience applause)

Wonderful gossip today. Wonderful gossip. Thank you.

  

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