The Returning Series SHOUD 11
Presented to the Crimson Circle June 6, 2009
Original Website http://www.crimsoncircle.com/
And so it was, an agreement that was made hundreds of thousands of years
ago in the beauty and the serenity and the family in the Temples
of Tien; prophesized over 2000
years ago that this group would get back together on Earth at the same
time, with those in the angelic realms helping to guide and to support and to
love; that this group would get together at the most incredible, monumental
time of change for all of humanity and all of creation. And here we are today.
Graduation day. Graduation day, dear Shaumbra, and what a delight it is for I, Tobias, to be the one sitting with you. It's not about me leaving. It's not about me coming back to Earth. Why the tears, Cauldre? Why these deep feelings, Shaumbra? It's not about me. It's I, Tobias; it's Adamus and Kuthumi and all of the angels on the other side having a few tears, having our own celebration today. It's about you, your graduation.
When we began working together, when the literal call from Archangel Gabriel went out into the universe, into the dimensions and called together a group of humans to be on Earth at this time of change and transformation, in this time of New Energy, to get past the impasse or the slow-down in all of the energies of the old, that call went out and you answered. You came to Earth, and oh, there have been struggles and challenges, difficulties. As you have told us so many times, it isn't as easy as what we say, and we know that. We knew that all along. But Shaumbra, we had to keep encouraging you and reminding you. We had to keep letting you know that you're already there. We had to remind you to fall so deeply in love with yourself day after day when everything, it seemed, was working against.
So you came here to Earth. You answered that call, and we didn't know on August 21st, 1999, we didn't know how long we were going to be working with you. We took bets on this side, (laughter) literally. There were those … and I have to tell you for a moment the ones who have been working with you the closest are the ones who have been on Earth before, who have been in the human body, who have worked in your sandals and shed the same tears and had the same laughter. The ones closest to you in the Crimson Council know what it's like. So when they put their bets on how long this process would take, the bet was generally about three lifetimes. I was more optimistic; I bet only two lifetimes that it would take. (laughter) And I was fully prepared to be with you that entire time. Little did we know … little did we know that it would be just ten years.
We didn't prophesize the date; we only prophesized the event. We knew it would happen, but we didn't know what you would have to go through, and here we are, in what seems like a moment of time ago from when we started. Here we are today - graduation day; point of separation; a time where we're releasing you. We're letting you go so that we can readjust our energies to come back to work for you in a different way.
You remember the very first, what they call, the official Shoud? August 21st, 1999 - “The Departure of the Guides.” Oh, there were a lot who weren't happy about it and they departed Crimson Circle right then and there. But there were many more who gathered back together, who remembered the agreements that we made in the Temples of Tien, who remember being back together in the time of Yeshua.
It was the time of departure of the guides ten years ago, to take away those spiritual training wheels. And, oh, dear ones, sometimes right now you think you're having difficulty right now in this Now moment. Back then it was true difficulty that you went through. It was the true dark night of the soul. When you released the angelic beings who had been with you for so very long - your nearest, closest friends - they felt so much like a part of you. You felt they were you. They were the angelic beings who were at your side helping to keep all of the energies between your humanness and your divine, between you here in this lifetime and your spiritual families - your angelic families - to help balance the energy of this very harsh 3D environment with the energies of all of the other dimensions, and they left. They left.
You went through - back in 1999 and 2000 - you went through some of the darkest of the dark times, feeling so alone; feeling actually betrayed; feeling that the things that were closest to you had walked out on your life. I remember countless long nights with you comforting you, trying to let you know that it was part of your plan. Letting you know that you hadn't done anything wrong. Why is it, when there's change and evolution, the human thinks they've done something wrong? Perhaps because at times it is painful? Yes indeed. Perhaps because it is frightening? Absolutely. But it was part of your plan to release your own guides so that you could accept the full responsibility and the full I Am-ness of you.
The spirit guides, the angelic beings, to some had turned into a crutch, an excuse. Many had deferred to them and said, "They are telling me to do this, and they are telling me to do that," and when we heard those words come from you, we had to leave also. We had to honor your request to leave when it got to that point where you weren't speaking in your own voice, from your own self and your own spirit.
That was only ten years ago. A blink of time. Not even as much as a breath of time ago that we started gathering like this. And whether you joined the Crimson Circle or started reading the Shouds a year ago or five years ago, you were energetically connected from the very start.
And here it is graduation day. You've gone through the processes. You've gone through the releases and the transformations and the wisdom. You've embraced yourself. You've come to understand compassion and love. Not just as nice dreamy words, but as part of yourself, as part of the way you live. You've gone through a transformation that is monumental in a very short period of time - and not all of you made it. I'm talking right now to the ones who are gathering around and getting ready for our little celebration that we have planned for you today, the ones who have been in human form - Monica, Christina, and the names go on and on - the ones who left before this date. Not leaving because it was so difficult on Earth, but leaving because they loved you so much and they wanted to be on this side adding their human angel support to what you're doing on your side. They are gathering here today along with every other guest we've had in ten years. Every other guest is gathering today for your graduation.
Point of Separation
It is a time to love yourself. It is a point of separation unlike any other that we've experienced together. You felt it in these past weeks, in the past nights some of you having dreams about a graduation ceremony, and dear friends, don't worry. I know some of dreamt that you weren't getting to your graduation in time, that you got delayed, that there was this ceremony going on. You thought it was dreaming back about your high school or college graduation. It wasn't. It was about this.
Some of you couldn't find your car keys to get in your car to come to graduation. Some of you got distracted along the way trying to help somebody else. But I want to let you know right now that you made it. You're here. That dream was just your own fears, your own worries, and, as we'll talk about in a moment, your own sense of sabotaging the very gifts and experiences that you indeed deserve, that you set up for yourself.
Some of you have thought so deeply and emotionally in these last few weeks about leaving, about not feeling that you have the answers, not feeling you could go another step forward. But I want to remind each and every one of you, whether you leave or not, and some of you will in the next week or so - don't worry, you already know who you are; we're not making that decision - but some of you will leave and you will come back to our side, some who are very, very near and dear.
But I want to tell you right now, you made it to this milestone. You made it to the graduation celebration. Now you can just let go. You're here. You allowed the transformation of yourself, the integration of your soul. You made it. And if you choose to come back to our side, we're going to welcome you with open arms and love. You're not making a bad decision or the wrong decision. You're making a choice. That's the most important thing. Stop being so hard on yourself.
Or you can make the choice to stay on Earth and watch what happens next - watch where Shaumbra goes, watch what happens when Adamus comes in and starts working with you with New Energy, watch what happens when you sign your own proclamation that you take full responsibility for yourself as a creator - watch what happens.
It's been difficult for some of you because you've been going through an intense release process, an intense transformation of your human and your spirit self, in what should have taken three lifetimes. And here we are together right now at our day of graduation. A day of celebration.
There was time not so long ago, and many of you will remember the lifetimes, including perhaps this lifetime, where the name of Yahweh could not be spoken aloud, where it had to be disguised, where it had to be called initials - YHWH. You couldn't even say the word God, not because God would get mad and throw down lightning bolts; not because it was supposed to be so mysterious. But there was a time not so long ago that the human self couldn't even acknowledge and say the word "God." They had to think of all these other words. Couldn't say the word "Spirit." Couldn't say "Eternal One."
And now here is a group of humans that doesn't have to hide behind four letters that form a cloak or a disguise, doesn't have to use the word Yahweh. Now we're at the point where you can say, "I am God also. I am God For Real. I Am that I Am."
So you wonder what the graduation is about? You wonder what we're speaking about? Just that realization that you are God also; living and walking in what you call a human illusion or human reality, but the fact that you can say it now, out loud to yourself and even to others, is significant. It is a milestone.
Let's take a deep breath, no longer having to hide, no longer having to use elusive terms to say, "I Am that I Am God also."
One Last Visit Together
So, dear Shaumbra, today we have a special ceremony for your graduation. I'm going to ask all of you to take a deep breath and to allow yourself to expand. Let's go to my cottage for one last time as a group. Take a deep breath and allow yourself to open and expand to the cottage. Oh, we've been preparing for you for ten years of time. We've been preparing for this day.
Now, "How do you get there?" you say. It's your imagination. Your imagination is one of the greatest gifts you, God, ever gave yourself. Your imagination has created physical universes. Your imagination has created dimensions. There is no difference between imagination and reality. They just manifest different sometimes.
There are those who say that it's "just imagination" because it doesn't manifest here in 3D form, but yet it is as real as anything that does manifest here. And as you go forward into the New Energy, you're going to find there is no line anymore between what you call physical reality and what you imagine. It's all the same.
It's actually been said that what is in the non-physical realms created through the imagination is more real than what ends up here in physical reality. Those going forward with the Crimson Circle, those going forward as Shaumbra, are going to learn there is really no difference at all. It's all the same. It's how, when and where you want things to manifest.
You're already working in these other realms - your imagination. You're working in the New Earth, and they are as real and you know it. Now, working with the New Energy and Adamus, you're going to learn how to bring it into this reality when you want.
So how do you get to Tobias' cottage where we have a wonderful celebration ready for you? You imagine it. You imagine it from your heart. You imagine it from the breath that you take. So let's all go there right now.
You've been there many times before.
Now, before you go in - you've seen that there are a few angels at the door keeping you out for right now - let's just gather outside.
It's beautiful. You know, the beautiful thing about my cottage is that you can create your own imagination of however you want it to look. I see today, from my perspective, it's a beautiful day.
Let's take this whole group of Shaumbra from all around the world and let's just gather out in the front lawn. Oh, it's huge, by the way. It's huge, and it's a beautiful day just like it is here in Coal Creek Canyon and so many other places around the world.
Take a moment to breathe in the energies here. I've imagined it for you, for this graduation. I've imagined it with flowers blossoming, beautiful trees - some that you've seen on Earth and some that you've never seen anywhere before. But they're here today planted and growing in honor of you.
Take a deep breath … just smell the energies.
Ah, there's birds flying in the air because I love birds. I truly do. They're an expression of freedom. It was a very bird that taunted me in my last lifetime on Earth, sat on my windowsill every morning, sang about its freedom, taunting me about my prison. I hated that damn bird! (laughter) As hungry as I was I wanted it to be my dinner. But I came to learn that that bird was a messenger; Archangel Mikael coming to tell me about a gathering of a group called Shaumbra, coming to tell me that the energies of Christ - the Christ seed - were coming to Earth in less than 50 years from my last lifetime, and a group of messengers from all over the universe - from spiritual families of every kind - were going to be incarnating. That bird from Archangel Mikael was coming to tell me it was my time to come back into nonphysical so I could be here for a very important part of the journey with you.
So I love birds, and I filled the skies with birds that are singing the songs of your graduation today.
Take a moment just to feel. Oh, I've got some hills in the background. It's almost like a Norman Rockwell painting. It's as good as I want it to be, and you can feel into these energies as well.
And here, gathered for this graduation today, is every guest that we've ever had in the past ten years - Tesla, Jung, Archangel Raphael, Archangel Mikael, the energies of Isis and Adam, the energies of the new ones - the Crystal Children - who are coming to Earth, the energies of Sam, the 9/11 terrorists who were part of one of our gatherings a number of years ago. What a transformation they've gone through. The ones who have departed your life - parents and children who have crossed over, who have been the unnamed guests at so many of our gatherings - they are here today also. They're here to celebrate what you perhaps don't understand yet, to celebrate what you may just take for granted, but we don't at all.
We told you a while back that this was THE lifetime. It was also going to be perhaps the hardest and the most challenging of any lifetime you've ever had. The big difference is that you're conscious in this lifetime. Oh, a lifetime ten lifetimes ago, you were living it as an aspect of yourself and your soul, but you weren't so conscious of your spiritual self. There was a distinct separation between you and Spirit, between yourself and your soul.
This lifetime was difficult and challenging because you are conscious. You sometimes pretend that you're not, but you're conscious. You know the answers. You sometimes pretend that you don't, and perhaps that has caused so much of the pain. You know you know the answers, but part of the game has been pretending that you don't, pretending that you can't manifest, pretending that you're not a creator, pretending that you're still just a human.
And one of the most painful parts is you are conscious that you're not just
human. You're not a victim; you're a creator.
You're not a student; you're a teacher. So we all acknowledge you for what you
have done, and in addition to that, whether you understand it or not, you've
been pioneers of new consciousness.
Consciousness right now is a difficult thing because it's considered non-tangible - in your realms, not ours - because you can't measure it, because you can't analyze it, because it appears to be too variant. It's often dismissed. The humans have learned how to measure intelligence or at least they think they have, but because consciousness cannot be quantified - the consciousness quotient is not quantifiable as of yet - you tend to dismiss it.
So when we talk to you about being pioneers of consciousness, sometimes it goes right by you. You don't get what we're really saying. But a pioneer of consciousness is one who works with energies in a deliberate, conscious and open way; who delves into the new forms and realms of consciousness; who doesn't just keep working with the same old equations and factors, but delves into the new.
But you know where the new realms of consciousness are? Not in outer space. Not hidden in some Collider over in Switzerland. Not in a mathematical formula. The new frontiers of consciousness are right within you.
As you open up into your new levels of consciousness, it therefore unlocks the potential door in everyone else. They're not forced to go into or open their own door. Human consciousness is not forced to evolve on a faster, gentler, simpler rate, but the potential is set and that is what you have been doing.
And for those who are choosing to depart, to come back to our side in the next few weeks - and you wonder what you've accomplished in this lifetime? You've accomplished what few, few have done. Over the eons of time of humanity on Earth, you have brought in the new potentials. And yes, yes, yes, you've had trouble applying it to your own life at times. You find it easier to apply when you're teaching on New Earth. You find it easier to apply when you're serving someone else. You find it easier to do when you're teaching and healing others, when you're working with their issues and you forget to do it for yourself. And that is the final, final frontier: Consciousness applied to self.
I'm going to talk just in a moment about why you've been sabotaging yourself, but I want to spend this moment as we gather outside of my cottage … it's a very real place, by the way. It's not some intangible, airy, disappearing, invisible place. It is so real. It is so real that those who are learning to open up their senses are going to be able to actually taste it, touch it, hear it, smell it. They're going to be able to open up every human sense and finally to see it for what it really is.
Now, gathered here in this sacred and safe space, I want to let you know you're welcome here anytime. We're not going to be meeting like a group like this anymore here, but you are welcome here anytime. The door is always open for anyone who calls themselves Shaumbra. Even though I'm coming back to Earth as Sam, the essence of Tobias goes on and on and on.
Pretty soon, dear ones, you're going to discover your own equivalent to your own Tobias within you. You're going to understand that you're not just this human incarnation, that there is this part of you, what I call "My Tobias" that exists. You're going to make that connection just as Sam is going to make the connection with Tobias and To Bi Wah.
Now, let's go inside. As you notice as we slowly proceed, there's a line of all of the angels and all of the guests and the loved ones lined up outside the door. They're not coming in today, because there's something special for you and you alone. No other guests are coming in with I, Tobias, just this group of Shaumbra. But as we make our way into the cottage, allow them to line up. Allow them to pat you on the back, to cheer you on and to thank you for all that you've done.
Let's take a deep breath …
…as we go inside.
Now let's bring our energies - here we are inside. It takes a moment to adjust. It takes a moment for your energies to adjust, but pretty soon you're going to start feeling and sensing and seeing that, well, first of all, it's much bigger on the inside than it looks on the outside. It's huge on the inside! You thought it was just a quaint little cottage out in the country with a little flowing stream and little pathways. Oh, it's huge in here.
The Gallery of Shaumbra
And as you can see, if you allow yourself, we put up pictures on the walls. I'm going to allow you to roam around here while I talk a little bit, but I want you to note that these pictures go back all the way to Atlantis, to when we first gathered together. As you roam around, feel free to go into any of the rooms. Feel free to go anywhere. There is plenty of light. No matter where you go, the light appears - and that is such an important statement. I don't use any of these light bulbs. Don't need them here, because when an angel makes their presence known, the room illuminates itself.
So wander around a little bit and look at some of the pictures on the wall. Give yourself permission, dear ones, to be in your imagination, to allow yourself to feel into these pictures, to sense them.
There are pictures and they're all dynamic. They're moving, living, loving pictures. Allow yourself to see some of the pictures of the Temples of Tien in Atlantis. Yes, there are group snapshots, so to speak. We didn't have cameras back then, but these are energetic - or perhaps I should say better - pictures of consciousness on the walls. Oh, and there are some over on the table and on the piano and scattered all around. We've been preparing for ten years.
As you go around, you see pictures of the times we were together, where you were together; the times of Yeshua. Why is it that in all of these pictures humans always have their arms around each other, always posing and smiling?
There's other pictures as well, pictures of some of the work that you've done; pictures of gatherings when you called yourself Shaumbra 2000 years ago; pictures when you were Essenes; pictures of you with your families back then; pictures of you when many of you had lifetimes under the surface of the Earth, when the surface of the Earth was so violent after the downfall of Atlantis where you lived under the Earth. Oh, let yourself feel it again. Amazing times.
Pictures on the walls, dear Shaumbra, of times in Old Egypt; many of you in the lands of India lifetimes ago. Feel free to browse around. This is the gallery of Shaumbra. It's alive with your energies.
Pictures of you in the great royal courts of Europe 500, 300, 200 years of time ago. Oh yes, you've always known it. Why would you deny it? Why would you deny it?
Pictures of you on sailing ships headed for a new land. Oh yes, we have pictures of you in combat, fighting wars. That's as much a part of this gallery as the pictures of you as the philosophers and the healers.
There are pictures of you, dear ones, even between lifetimes. You often wonder, "What did I do in between?" Well, take a look. There are pictures between the lifetimes.
You can see room after room after room living, in-color pictures of consciousness with feeling in them; pictures of our gathering on August 21st, 1999 in the teepee. Oh, why is it that you see your picture there? You weren't there. Oh, yes you were. Oh, yes you were. You weren't there in body, but the reason why you see your picture there is your energy was there, helping to bring back this group of Shaumbra in this era.
There are pictures of the people of Shaumbra who were there physically or energetically in our very first workshop in Minneapolis; pictures of the group that went to England at the time of September 11th, 2001. Yes, you see. Right there. You didn't know we were taking pictures all of this time. Well, of course we have been. We've been compiling the history of Shaumbra, not just so you could come back to visit but so it goes into an album. It goes into the library on the New Earth. It's shown to every Crystal angel making their way to Earth. It's shown to the angels of your spiritual families who want to know how you're doing. It's shown to any of you who just want to reminisce.
There are pictures of workshops in Japan, in Korea. Many pictures. Oh, just allow yourself to browse. I'm just chatting here while you browse. In Kauai - oh, how we remember that first year so well. You see I get a little touched too. I've been roaming around these pictures for the last few days getting ready. I have to say it's brought a few tears to my eyes.
Oh, you say you noticed a little music in the background. Well, of course. That's the music of Shaumbra. It's all of the songs that have been played at all of the workshops and all of the Shouds. Pictures of the Shouds going back years ago when you used to gather at this other location called the Mile High Church; pictures that go back to Shouds where oh, dear ones, when the toilets were broken here in Coal Creek Canyon; pictures of that amazing time we had together in Santa Fe when the Anazasis were leaving. Roam around a little bit.
Oh, they are filled … you can come back here anytime or you can go visit this album of consciousness on the New Earth, but you can see we've put this together for you today. There are some snacks around too. What, do you think angels don't partake in snacks? Of course we do. Any angel who's ever been human will imagine and create the things we love best of Earth. There are snacks all around. Help yourself.
There are pictures of our times together in Germany and in Canada and Brazil, Finland and Norway, times in Holland, many times in Romania, our gathering in Hungary. All over the world, Shaumbra, where you have gathered, where you have spoken the name of Spirit, we've been there with you.
Every one of these gatherings, it wasn't about a workshop or learning something new. It was about taking some time for yourself, remembering why you're here and opening potentials for humanity. That's what it was about.
The Shaumbra Room
Now, you can gather here anytime, but I'd like to call everybody over to the Shaumbra Room. There's a sign above the large door - "Shaumbra Room." Come over this way, if you would. It's a large room. Oh, it's not an amphitheater or a meeting room like so many of the places you've met. The Shaumbra Room has pillows on the floor, natural lighting. It's a beautiful type of energetic windows that we've set up. There's the sound of water - yes, water - trickling, but you can't really tell where it's coming from you, can you? There is light music. There's color. We've set it up for you.
So do come in on this day and find a comfortable place - lay down, hang upside down, it doesn't matter. Find a seat. If you don't see a seat just create one. Imagine it, dear one. Just imagine it and it will be there.
Let's all gather together for a little talk. We'll have opportunity on the way out to visit the pictures again, but you can see there is millions and millions of pictures, all in honor of you.
So let's take a deep breath and get comfortable …
It's been an amazing journey. This part of it is coming to a close, no
doubt. Point of separation. Graduation day.
I'm not going to be talking to you much like this anymore. We have a few more sessions together, but this is our last regular Shoud. This is the last time I come in to remind you of what you already know.
So I want to talk for a moment about how do you feel right now? We're on the verge of really allowing ourselves to be human angels on Earth. It's graduation day. A lot of you are saying, "What next?"
I'll remind some of you, remember what it was like when you graduated from high school or college? You were so happy to be done with that program because it was difficult. You were so happy to have your freedom, but you also had the energy or the consciousness of uncertainty ahead, of fear, and about losing your point of comfort. As much as part of you was celebrating your graduation, the other part was fearing what comes next, and that's where a lot of us are right now. Oh, including me. Including me. I have my own anxieties - I'm getting more human every day - and you're wondering what comes next.
This part of the journey is done. Contracts are over with. There is no spiritual contract now. They're over with. So you say, "What next?" And an interesting thing happens. A type of sabotage, a type of unwinding comes in. It's not a natural part of you, but it's an acquired part that's been highly trained and developed to pull the rug out from underneath you right when you're graduating, right when you're about to manifest what you are creating on the other realms. Right when you're about to succeed, it fails.
Why is that? Why is that, Shaumbra? Because you're a bad person? Just a few of you. (laughter) Is it because you're not worthy? No. Is it because maybe you've exceeded your boundaries? Maybe you've gone too far out on the limb? That's one of the excuses. Why is it that right on the eve of what you would call success or what we call coming full circle, why is it that it seems to fall apart? Who is doing it to you?
Is it the ones who are involved in these great conspiracies? I think not. Is it your soul? I don't think so. Is it that damn spouse of yours or partner of yours? Well yes! (much laughter) Because you allow them, you let them. So it's really not them, it's you. But you live vicariously through the - how to say - through the eyes of your friends and your family, and you allow them to set your limitations for you.
Why the Sabotage?
Why is it, here at this coming of full circle in this lifetime on Earth, when you have come full circle - this is THE lifetime, this is the point of separation, this is the time of being the creator/manifester - why is it that that energy comes in? That dark, cold, unlife-like, deceptive, unloving, loathing energy comes in? Why is it that at a moment like this some of you feel anxiety and tension? Why is it that at a time like this some of you want to run and hide?
Why is it that you put such a big expectation on yourself that you can't
possibly live up to your own expectation? That manifesting means you should be
able to instantly heal and transform your body, and then you doubt whether you
can do it? You think you're still too human? Why is it that you've come so
close to true love, to true abundance, to health, to all of the things that
your heart wants to create, but it doesn't happen? Why is it that humans
This in itself is a book. There is no single answer, but I'll offer a few of my perspective to you today in this commencement address that I'm giving. I think one of the things that humans and angels alike fear is completion. Completion.
The reason why they fear it, because once you've completed something, especially if it's all of your lifetimes that you're ever going to have, what's left? Once you've completed it, there's no passion. There's no what you would call drama. There's no carrot in front of you. So you know what happens so often? If life is like a big circle, right when you're coming to the point of completion, you break down the circle. You break down what you've actually created so that you don't have to complete the circle.
There's a fear, even amongst the angels, that when all of this is completed you become nothing. You cease to exist. Humans believe in going to heaven and hell; angels have this fear of nonexistence. They fear that if there is not something to fix or mend or correct, there's no goals to aspire to or plans of the day, there's no hills to climb or oceans to cross, that you go out of existence. And this is so deeply a part of all of you.
I can tell you and Adamus will tell you - that is not true. But on the other hand, when I add Kuthumi into this, we'll tell you of something that we have found to be true. You stop existing like you used to exist. So actually part of this fear or concern is founded. It's true. You'll never exist like you did before. The existence becomes something different. It becomes the moment, the I Am. It comes without goals or without trying to fix anything, without trying to fix the world. And some of you angels here, sitting in the Shaumbra Room at my cottage, have a difficult time with that.
You base your worth on what tasks lie before you, working with yourself or working with others. You base your tomorrows on the lists of things that have to be done that you're writing today. You base your worth - whether it is in the eyes of other humans on Earth or the eyes of the angels in your spiritual family or in the Crimson Council - on what you're accomplishing and what you're doing. You base your identity, your awareness of self, on how much more you have to fix rather than what you've done.
So you sabotage yourself. I know there are so many here today sitting in this room - I'm not just talking about this physical room, I'm talking about the Shaumbra Room - I know who you are. I've seen what you can do, and I've seen that you could have left lifetimes ago, gone to your own Third Circle, gone to the experience of your ascension rather than the talk of your ascension. You could have had riches; you could have had fame - neither of which is too bad.
You could have had anything, but you've feared that this would be closing a circle, a circle started eons of time ago. You feared going ascension because you fear that it's nothing, that there's nothing there, nobody there, nothing to do, no true understanding of yourself or worth.
Why do you sabotage yourself? Not because you're bad, not because there are things you have to fix or do, not because you're not worthy. You know, the funny thing is that any human - any human at any point - can say, "Enough." I don't care if they're a human in prison on some of the worst charges against them; I don't care if they're destitute, homeless; I don't care if they're top of the most wanted sinner's list, but dear Shaumbra, the moment that a human angel says, "That's enough," everything starts changes. Everything starts clearing up, and the realization of ascension comes in.
I look out on you who are graduating today from this ten year experience we've had together, getting ready to go into a whole new part of your life; working with Adamus for actual manifestation of your creations; working with New Energy; being the true scientists of new consciousness - and I don't use that word lightly. You're going to be the physicists and the scientists and the explorers. You're going to be the ones helping to define the undefinable, the teachers of New Energy. You're going to be the ones creating the New Energy businesses, the healing modalities.
You're going to be the ones there for other humans, leading the way, but you've got something to take a look at today, right now. Sabotage. Fear of completion. And I know in your minds, I can hear some of you mentally telling me right now, "Oh no, Tobias, I really want completion." Go to your heart and your soul. Go to the deepest part of yourself.
Completion means you never have to have another goal, you never have to do anything again, you never have to fix anyone, you never have to fix yourself. Completion means you can transcend the human body, you can transcend the human mind. Completion means you don't have any need, desire or want for material goods, but you have everything you want. Completion means absolutely being in love with yourself and not having to read any more books or tell yourself these little cute phrases that you say while looking in the mirror, but actually loathing yourself the whole time you're doing this. (some laughter) Completion, dear ones, means being real and true to yourself, and possibly going out of existence in the way that you've known till now.
Why have you been sabotaging? Why have you been building up that castle and then demolishing it? Why have you been making strides in consciousness - leaps in consciousness - to go further than any other humans we've seen, and then you allow yourself to fall into the chasm of darkness. Why?
I can't give you the answer. I can only point out to you what I see you doing. I can't make you some promise or guarantee of what it's like when you complete yourself in your circle, but I can tell you that it begins the next circle of evolution.
You see, when the circle is completed, it's actually more like a spiral. Now it expands. Now it grows. Now it continues. Not in the same way that you've been experiencing it up till now, it changes.
Dear Shaumbra, during your summer break I want you to truly take a look at if and why you sabotage yourself. There's nobody else doing it to you. That dark, cold, energy-stealing energy that comes in on the eve of your successes, is yours. You invited it in a long time ago, and just as much as you invited it in, you can also invite it out. As much as you created it, you can uncreate it. That is a beautiful spiritual physics: Anything that you create can be uncreated.
The Most Important Word
I'd like to leave you with just four points - of course. Just four points in this last Shoud.
Quite simply, the most important word in all of the world and all of the creation is you - self. Self. Humans, especially, oddly enough, highly evolved humans have a hard time with self. If you go back through all of the Shouds, all of the ten years of workshops, the most common words you're going to see in there are "you" and "self." I want you to be self-full. I want you to consider yourself first. Oh, you've been trained to think that that's wrong, but you know, the ones who trained you to think that's wrong, they're going through their own hell right now! (laughter)
When you take care of yourself and when you love yourself, when you fall intimately, deeply in love with yourself and shamelessly in love with yourself, it's like magic, and it has more of an effect … Cauldre doesn't like what I'm going to say but you know, this is my last Shoud so I'm going to say it. (Tobias chuckles to laughter and some applause)
When you think of yourself first, it has more impact on this Earth than a thousand Mother Teresa's. And that is true. Oh, Mother Teresa was a wonderful icon for those who like suffering (laughter) and those who - I'm sorry Cauldre - but for those who like to earn their worthiness into heaven by suffering.
Shaumbra, in this New Energy, it's about loving yourself, for how can you ever tell anybody else about how to heal, about how to transform, about how to integrate with their spirit unless you've learned it first? The most important word is self.
You take yourself into consideration. Then you'll come to understand something that has eluded many of you - the meaning behind I Am that I Am. Some of you say the words, but have no idea what you're saying, and that's okay. Saint Germain's going to work with you. He has a special course that he's designing called "Remedial I Am-ness." (laughter)
The most important word is self - you. You. It's about accepting yourself. It's about the compassion. Compassion has to be for yourself first, otherwise it is meaningless in this world. The love has to be for yourself first, otherwise it is meaningless. And actually the word love is … actually if you take a look at its consciousness quotient, it is becoming not such a good word anymore. In human energetic terms, it is coming to mean deception and energy stealing and falseness.
When you truly love yourself, when you accept everything about yourself - no more this list of things you have to do to make yourself correct. I'm so tired of that, Shaumbra. I want you to throw out all your goals, all of the things you're working on, all your programs, everything else, because it just means that you can't complete your circle. Every goal, every program, everything you say you're going to do - losing weight, becoming smarter, being better looking, doing all of these things - makes that gap between the closure, the completion of self, greater and greater. You can't go backwards, but you could make a gap much bigger.
So, dear Shaumbra, the most important word: Self.
The Most Important Reminder
The most important reminder that any of us can give you is to trust. Trust yourself. Nobody else until you trust yourself. It's there. It's all there - all of the healing of your body, everything you need, all of the answers - if you would just trust yourself. There's still a tendency to put the trust somewhere else, in someone else, to run off to a reader - tsk tsk tsk (laughter) - or a healer, but a healer who you're putting the power into them. Facilitators, yes. Sometimes it's good to have somebody facilitate - as long as you take the driver's seat, the main seat, the responsibility. Then they can help make it a little easier or at least more entertaining. (laughter) And you're helping them in their livelihood to earn their living as facilitators.
You realize in trust … oh, dear ones, you have fallen out of trust with yourself. You've put this overlay of human - what do you say - human flaws and errant ways and all the rest of that. It's like this big layer over yourself. Trust yourself, always. Go back to the simplest form of trust. Mental trust doesn't ultimately do a whole lot of good. When you have something coming up in your life, something a little scary, something that causing anxiety, makes your palms a little sweaty, trust yourself.
Oh yes, you may feel fear. I'm not saying you're going to erase this thing called fear. Fear is actually a wonderful energy once it's transmuted and put into creative manifestation.
Trust - implicitly trust - yourself. That's a hard thing to do.
You trust yourself a little. You trust yourself based on where you've learned you're not going to deceive yourself from past experiences. But I'm talking trusting yourself with your health. The body is not a foreign object. It's you manifest on Earth. Trust it. Trust you. Trust you even when some of the darkest storm clouds roll in, and trust that the storm clouds aren't necessarily what you think and sometimes a good storm clears a lot of energy. Trust that it's there. Stop running from it.
A lot of you play this game of what we say called being positive. Or you play this game of telling yourself over and over that it's going to be all right, but never really believing it. Some of you play this game of running - running, running. Stop for a moment. I don't care what it is, even if you're facing death. No matter what it is, when you allow the trust in yourself and nobody else - the trust in yourself - you initiate, you trigger all of the systems that are already within you to go to work to serve you. When you let go of having to run other places for your trust, for your protection; when you let go of having to do a false optimism and allow everything - the dark, the light, the good, the bad - and absolutely trust yourself, you're going to discover miracles. Miracles in the simplest way. Please trust yourself. Oh, some of you, I have cried with you, I have argued with you, I've had to threaten a few of you! Trust yourself.
Now, how do you know when you're not trusting yourself? Because your mind jumps in and it starts … you get all that head chatter and you lay awake so late at night worrying, and you forget to trust. You created it. It's in its perfection - not God's perfection, not God in some other place - in your perfection. You created it. Trust it now. Trust every part of yourself.
(Tobias sighs) You know, sometimes it only appears that you're falling down. Sometimes it only appears that things are falling apart. But in the true energy of trust, you'll understand that you've created something in perfection. It's not falling apart; it's reorganizing itself. Dear Shaumbra, trust in yourself.
The Thing You Can Count On
Point number three: the thing that you can absolutely count on, the thing that you can count on more than anything, is evolution or change. You've heard it before - the thing that's certain is change. Everything else becomes uncertain or becomes just an experience in the past. Your life is going to change, or we'll say evolve. Your life is going to evolve, so get comfortable with it.
Evolving means yes, sometimes you're going to move to a different location. You're going to change the landscape of the people who are in your life. Change means sometimes you're going to lose your job in order to find your true passion - but expect change. You came in at a time of change and you knew it. You have asked for change in your life, but then you're flabbergasted when it comes around.
Dear Shaumbra, the world is changing and there are those who are going to have difficulty handling it mentally, physically, spiritually. You're actually in a better position than just about any other group we know of to handle change, but still you resist it. How about breathing it in? How about allowing it in? If you understand you're the one who set up that change - it's only frightening if the change comes from somewhere else - but you've set it up. You've set up the changes in your life, the changes that are going on in the world right now. Breathe in and soak in that change.
Right now … it's going to happen, but right now you're resisting it so it creates a friction of consciousness, which creates discomfort in your body and discomfort for just being here on the planet. The minute you embrace change, well, you're going to understand something that I'm not going to speak about right now. Adamus will speak about it, but change isn't at all what you think it is.
The Best Gift for Yourself
And one last thing out of my four topics today, the gift to give yourself - and you already know this, some of you tire of hearing about it - but the gift to give yourself is to breathe. Breathing affirms that you're alive and that you're choosing to be here. And how many of you - don't raise your hands, you'll embarrass yourself - but how many of you have not really known whether you want to be here? How many of you have been in what you call a neutral or indecisive zone for years of time now? Stay or leave? Stay or leave?
Well, breathe. It'll either be your last breath (laughter) or, dear Shaumbra, it's going to reinvigorate every part of you.
Breathing gets you out of your head into your passion, your soul and your spirit. Breathing does this amazing thing by allowing the energy of spirit into this reality, into this lifetime. Breathing gets the energies going. Breathing is the way that you bring in New Energy from the other realm. Breathing is a gift to yourself. Breathing reminds you of how simple it should be. When you get off on all of these other complex practices and methodologies and searching and hunting, come back to the breath because that's where you're at. Breathing brings in the Now moment.
Breathing provides the flexibility of your consciousness so it can expand into new consciousness and new realms. Breathing opens up every sense so you come back to being a sensory human, not just a dull Jack. Breathing opens you up so you can feel again. It does. It's the easiest prescription in the world - breathe. Breathe and then breathe. You want us to come up with something new and different, something more exciting, but dear Shaumbra, it's in the breath. It's in the breath.
Adam and Isis
And before we exit the room here, I want to leave you with one more thought that has to do with this sabotaging of self. It's one of the other things we picked up on the Shaumbra radar screen, one of the other reasons you sabotage, meaning that you don't allow yourself completion, fulfillment, success.
I'm going to speak somewhat metaphorically here, but actually there's a lot of reality to it. We've talked before about how you have a variety of different energies in you - the light, the dark; the yin, the yang; the masculine, the feminine. We're going to go back in this case to the story of Isis and Adam, which is basically the masculine and feminine within you. But I also want to use it to express another duality concept, and that was the inward and the outward expressions of your soul.
A long time ago when you left All That Was, when you went through the Wall of Fire on your journey that would bring you to Earth, you created your original separation and that created the inner looking spirit, what you now call your soul, your divine; and your outer expression, the part of you that would journey out into the void and create reality. The outer expression that would eventually come by way through the Order of the Arc to this planet Earth for a completion and fulfillment.
Using the concepts of duality, the metaphor, we'll talk about Isis and Adam, but understand it relates to the inner and the outer parts of self - the light and the dark, every opposing duality.
When the energy of Adam left Isis it created tremendous pain, for the two energies are essentially the same. They were always meant to be together. They were always in love. So when the separation occurred between Isis and Adam, you can imagine the pain that it caused. You can also imagine an anger that was caused as part of you left on a journey and left another part within itself. This caused the pain of love and separation, but also you could say a type of anger - "Why are you leaving? Why are you allowing the separation?"
So the energy of the masculine, of Adam, or the energy of the outer expression of self, went off, knowing - both parts of you knowing - that you would return together at the right time and the right place. This part of you - let's call it the Adam energy - Adam went off searching. Adam went off looking for new solutions, oh, out of absolute love to Isis. He wanted to create a place that was so perfect that Isis would want to return.
So Adam started, what you could say, building or constructing the perfect castle, the perfect home, the perfect space. And as he was building it through his imagination and his creative expression, he kept on wondering if Isis would really like it - would she like the colors? Would she like the style? - and he began to doubt himself tremendously. He wondered if Isis would be comfortable here. He wondered if he was just doing this for himself or if it would really be appropriate for Isis.
He kept on wondering if Isis really missed him and really loved him. He kept on wondering if maybe this was a plot from Isis to get rid of him. He wondered at times if Isis was deliberately doing this to him to totally annihilate him, to enslave him, to make him insignificant. And you see this myriad of opposing energies was flowing through Adam all the time while he was working on building this perfect dream castle for Isis.
Of course, the castle has never been good enough. Oh, it is spectacular in my opinion, but Adam is still working on it. It's the castle that can never be completed because, dear Shaumbra, in the somewhat imbalanced heart of Adam he fears most of inviting Isis in and her not accepting it.
That means her not accepting him. That means no reunion. That means no going forward. So if he keeps building his castle and he keeps modifying it and he keeps doubting himself, he keeps playing the game, he never has to face the question: is he worthy of Isis's return. Is he worthy?
And Isis, all this time, is wondering, "What happened to Adam? Why hasn't he called? Maybe he doesn't love me anymore. Maybe he's found another. Maybe he's betrayed me. Maybe he's trying to assume and collect power. Maybe he's trying to totally annihilate me. Maybe I'm not beautiful enough for him. Maybe he has discovered something within himself that has higher qualities than I. Maybe I'm not worthy of ever receiving the love of Adam. Maybe I'll turn my back. I'll hide my tears so I never have to face the issue, is Adam calling out for me. Is he welcoming me back to him? So I'll keep myself distracted. I'll do everything but look."
Dear Shaumbra, that's the story of Isis and Adam. It's also your story. It's a story of your inward and outer expression. It's a story of the human self and the divine. Maybe you don't think you're worthy, that you've built a good enough house for your divine to join you here, so you keep trying to build the house. And maybe your divine, right now at this moment, is wondering, "How come I haven't received the call? How come I'm not being invited into this holy sacred place called the human existence?" Maybe the divine is thinking that you betrayed it.
So this game continues. The deception continues and the separation continues, because what if, just what if the human didn't like the divine? What if it was disappointed with the most intimate part of itself? What if it had had so many experiences and so many loves in all of its lifetimes, it doesn't want itself anymore? What if…?
You face some of the most important issues in your existence right now. You face the issues of completion and of acceptance. The big dark energy rolls in right now and says, "What if the divine doesn't like me? What if it thinks I built a crappy house? That I'm not worthy? What if the divine comes in and tells me I have at least another dozen lifetimes before it'll even consider?" And that's the sabotage. It is artificial, and those of us who are sitting in our own Third Circle can tell you it is the biggest delusion and deception that you'll ever give yourself. But it is also the biggest gift.
A Portrait of You
So, dear Shaumbra, let's take a deep breath. It's time to leave the Shaumbra Room. You're welcome back here at any time. You're welcome back here any time to browse around, look at the pictures. As we're walking out of the Shaumbra Room, as we're going back out into the gallery area, we posted something very special for you.
Take a deep breath …
We put out a portrait of you. Nobody else is in the picture, just you. It is a portrait that has been in the making for eons of time. It is dynamic. It has depth and dimension. It is the face of this human incarnation and every incarnation that you've ever had. It's the face and the energy of you long before you came to Earth.
It has a plaque underneath, and the plaque is not written in words that the human eye can see, but the plaque is an energy expression. It is your vibration. It is your resonance. It is your song on that plaque.
And as you leave today we're going to hang each and every one of these portraits - your portrait - in the main hallway, a hallway that every other being who comes here has to walk through. They're going to see your picture, and it will hang here for eternity.
It will hang here as an example of a human who left Home, who left their spiritual families, who came to Earth, who went through joy and pain, but who graduated. It'll be here for those to see that it can be done, that you are Standards. So we will call this the Hall of Standards. And if you're reading or hearing these words, your portrait is here.
Let's walk back outside now. All of the guests of the past are out here waiting, here celebrating. Celebrating you. It's not about me leaving. It's about you graduating. They're celebrating.
But before we release the energy of this day, let us take a moment and, oh, feel the beauty - the sunshine and the … well, sure there are rainbows and it's raining all at the same time. This is the way it can be. Take an energetic snapshot of this family we call Shaumbra, of all the guests who have ever been here, of the wildlife, of the pristine beauty, of my cottage, of the welcome mat of all of this.
Where Do You Go?
And I have one question before we depart. Where do you go? Where's your space? Where is your space? I have this cottage that I have created. I love it and I take ownership of it. When you're in your desperate moments, when you're in fear and anxiety, when you need to get away, where do you go? I know where you go, and it's not always pretty.
Some of you go into … you imagine a dark cave. Some of you go into nothingness - and this is your cottage? This is your I Am house? Some of you can't imagine yourself in a place of beauty that's yours. You have to go to somebody else's cottage, somebody else's dimension.
Where do you go when it's difficult? Where do you go to reprieve yourself, to rejuvenate? Why do you give yourself a shack, a dungeon? Why do you have no place at all, dear Shaumbra? Are you not worthy enough of a cottage like this, with all of the beauty and love of my spirit?
I know sometimes you've gone and done a mental exercise to create a beautiful place, but you tire of it after 30 seconds. I'm not talking in your mind. I'm talking in your heart. Where do you go at night? Unfortunately, too many of you are still spiritually homeless. You have no place to go.
You have every tool and every resource, you're not taking up space, you don't need a mortgage, it doesn't consume energy, you're not stealing from anywhere else; so, dear Shaumbra, henceforth I invite you to create your own perfect home space.
This is the home space for you, for your spirit, for your soul, for your being. Create it in absolute joy and love, and stop worrying if it's perfect. Stop destroying what you have built. You're worthy of it. Don't copy my cottage, because then it really won't be yours. Do it from your heart. Create this space. It is your home from now on. It could be anything you want.
With that, dear Shaumbra, it is time for you to depart my space, my cottage. It is time for me to make my preparations. I have some bags to pack, you know. I have a bit of a journey ahead of me.
Oh … (emotional) I'm going to miss these times, where we laugh, where we get agitated with each other, where we wonder is it true or is it not, where we explore new consciousness. How I'm going to miss this.
I'll be here to talk to all of you, not through these channels anymore, but deep within you, one-on-one, you and I.
With that we'll be back in just a moment for the last of your questions - thank God for that! (laughter)
And so it is.
The Crimson Circle Materials with Tobias, Adamus Saint-Germain and Kuthumi lal Singh have been offered free of charge since August 1999.
The Crimson Circle is a global network of human angels, called Shaumbra, who are among the first to transition into the New Energy. As they experience the joys and challenges of ascension, they become the Standards for other humans on their journey of discovering the God within.
The Crimson Circle meets monthly in the Denver, Colorado area where Adamus presents the latest information through Geoffrey Hoppe. These Crimson Circle gatherings are open to the public and all are welcome.
If you are reading this and feel a sense of truth and connection, you are indeed Shaumbra. You are a teacher and a guide for humans and angels alike. Allow the seed of divinity to blossom within you in this moment and for all times to come. You are never alone, for there is family around the world and angels in the realms around you.
You may freely distribute this text on a non-commercial, no-charge basis. Please include the information in its entirety, including these footnotes. All other uses must be approved in writing by Geoffrey Hoppe, Golden, Colorado. See contacts page on website: www.crimsoncircle.com
Copyright 2010 Geoffrey Hoppe, Golden, CO 80403